Head’s up!  On Monday TRC will be starting our Game Week features for Week 1.  We won’t be doing lame predictions (yet) or position by position breakdowns telling you why our running backs get the proverbial check mark over USM’s linebackers.  We’ll leave that to the half million other blogs you visit during the work day from your cozy office, cube or Wi-Fi hot spot.

Instead we’ll be continuing in TRC’s grand tradition of unique features  like the Number Association Countdown and the Sunday Night Snark by presenting a feature we like to call the Best Case/Worst Case Breakdown.  We’ll be going over the best and worst case scenarios for each of USC’s positions for the upcoming season.  We’ll make you feel really good about our team, and then immediately turn around and make you feel anxious and miserable.  You’re gonna love it.

On Monday I’ll cover offense, Tuesday T-bone will take defense, and on Wednesday G-man will cover by far the least important and therefore last of the three phases of game, special teams.  (Bah, kickers, who needs ’em.)

Only one week to go until football season, can you dig it?

In case you missed the origin of the Number Association Countdown, you can find it here.  The reason I bring it up is to defend myself for #8.  Here is what I wrote back then:

There’s no rhyme of reason to the selection, it’s basically the first person that pops in my head when I think of the number.

So former Gamecock DB Teddy Crawford pops in my head.  Not Fred Bennett or Colin Mackie or even someone more recent like Larry Freeman.  And my single specific memory of Mr. Crawford is not a good one.  It was a Thursday night game at Arkansas a few years ago.  We got spanked, Demetris Summers got carried off on a stretcher, and Teddy gave us this gem:

Arkansas has a slim lead and the ball in Gamecock territory with the game still very much in doubt.  The Hog QB drops back, looks left and fires a pass towards his WR about 20 yards downfield.  The pass has absolutely no zip on it, and Crawford breaks on it perfectly.  He has nothing, and I mean nothing, but green grass in front of him.  But the ball goes right…through…his…hands.  As if that’s not bad enough, the tipped ball floats through the air and is snatched by the intended target.  The Arkansas WR strolls into the end zone, and we never recover.

I’m not sure who I feel sorrier for that I remember that so well, me or Teddy.

Ah, yes, The Todd.  For you youngsters that only know him as the South Carolina football play-by-play man, don’t judge him on that.  He was once a pretty good football player.

(This is all from memory, so feel free to correct me on details, but…)

Ellis came to USC out of Page High School in Greensboro, NC, as the #1 high school quarterback prospect in the country.  Legend has it that on his recruiting trip to USC, Joe Morrison and some other coaches took Ellis to the USC press box and played a  mock radio broadcast of him orchestrating a final touchdown drive as the Gamecocks beat #1 ranked Nebraska.  As Bob Fulton called the game-winning touchdown pass, Ellis, in his excitement, stood up a high-fived everyone in the room.  He committed on the spot.

He had a rough first year as a starter, mainly because of a brutal schedule.  The 1986 Gamecocks finished 3-6-2.  But the next year, my freshman year at USC, they went 8-4, riding a rabid Joe Lee Dunn defense and offensive weapons Ellis, Harold Green, and Sterling Sharpe.  I’ve always contended that was the best Gamecock team ever, with narrow losses at Georgia, Nebraska and Miami (FL), before a blowout loss to LSU in the Gator Bowl.  The crown jewel of the season was a 20-7 spanking of a nationally ranked Clemson team on ESPN.

In 1988 Ellis led USC to a blistering 6-0 start, only to fall flat on their faces against what appeared to be a vastly inferior Georgia Tech squad 34-0.  A humiliating 59-0 loss to Florida State on ESPN was followed by losses to Clemson and then Indiana in the Liberty Bowl.

Joe Morrison passed away that winter of a heart attack, and Sparky Woods was hired.

Ellis never seemed that comfortable outside the run and shoot offense, but still played relatively well in 1989.  In the season’s eighth game, an NC State defender crashed into Ellis’ knee, and that was the end of his South Carolina career.

Ellis never quite lived up to expectations, mainly due to his penchant for throwing interceptions.  But nonetheless, he held most Carolina passing records until Steve Taneyhill came along, and still holds quite a few.

Personally, my memories of Ellis as a football player are good ones.  In those days under Morrison we were the renegades, not afraid to take on anyone, and Todd was our leader.  No, we didn’t play by the rules, and it wound up hurting our program.  But with 20+ years gone by, I can say in retrospect, we sure had some fun.

Now, about that broadcasting thing…

How many of us have resorted to hyperbole to make a point? ‘This bag weighs a ton,’ or ‘I’m about to fall over dead’ are common expressions, and convey meaning in a concise and easy to understand fashion. No one takes these saying literally, and no one is offended by their frequent usage.

To pick another example – completely at random, mind you – we have CTU Head Coach Dabo Swinney’s recent assertion that Sophomore QB Kyle Parker is better than many starters in the NFL. Of course he wasn’t serious. Of course he was purposefully using a rhetorical device in make a point. We don’t take asinine statements such as these seriously, because we all recognize that the statement is false on its face.

Let me illustrate:

If I said that Dabo Swinney was an ignoramus, you might think I was asserting a truth. But if I am merely trying to make a point with rhetorical flair, I might be suggesting something less than his complete and utter buffoonery.

If I asserted that the entire history of Tiger football is defined by mediocrity, that their supposed tradition consists only of distant and ill-gotten victories won at the expense of institutional honesty and fair competition, then you will quickly forgive, because I might only be making a dramatic point.

Or if I suggested that the entire CTU football program is based on smoke and mirrors, that at its very core it is a grandiose and vapid lie, then you won’t be upset, because you will recognize that I may be speaking hyperbolically.

Or maybe, just maybe, Dabo was serious.

And maybe I am as well.

Blake Williamson came into his redshirt freshman season in 1992 season as a backup to senior Wright Mitchell.  Mitchell started the first four games, all losses, then gave way to Williamson, who then gave way to some long-haired Yankee that re-wrote half the Carolina record book.

Williamson still saw a considerable amount of action even after Taneyhill took over, mostly in red zone situations.  He scored a critical late TD against Vanderbilt in 1992, but will mostly be remembered for a little piece of razzle dazzle on a soggy night in Baton Rouge in 1994 when he took a throwback pass for a touchdown in that victory.  (See “Trickery against LSU” clip; hat tip to Cockytalk.)

– Kentucky Head Coach In Waiting, Joker Phillips, has a quarterback controversy.  Not content to juggle two guys in the spot, the decisive Joker is still toying with at least three.  His choices appear to be; 1. The slow one with the weak arm, 2. the slower one with the slightly weaker arm, or 3. the fast one without arms.  All the while, the right choice is staring him in the face with olive colored eyes – eyes that see into your very soul.

– Consider Mark Richt, veteran thespian, with his fully clothed dramatic swan dive.  Is it art, smug self-indulgence, or a pre-enactment of the Dawgs 2010 season?  I’ve watched it a dozen times, dear friends, and the answer is ‘all of the above’.

– CTU’s transformation from legitimate football program to children’s cartoon show accelerates! The “All In Anthem“, as composed and performed by a couple of freshman DBs, explores the various rhyming possibilities of Dabo’s famous slogan. Sadly, it appears that these possibilities are limited to the word “ballin”, although the fresh freshmen occasionally throw in an unexpected “ball out” to keep things interesting.

– The Tennessee football program might not always play by the rules.  I know, I was surprised as well.

Rashad Faison is a guy who gets a lot of “one of my favorite Gamecocks ever” mentions.  A little too slow to play corner, a lot too small to play linebacker, Faison helped define the Spur position in Charlie Strong’s defense.  He was small (5′-9″) and in uniform looked like he should be playing for a JV team, but had a knack for finding ball carriers.  He was second on the team in tackles in 2000, and led the team in tackles and TFL’s in 2001.  And that was accomplished on a couple of pretty stout defensive units.

He’s another player who had to live through 0-11 to get to the great turnaround of 2000-2001.  He was one of several who had a shining moment in the 2000 Georgia game.  Early in the video below he gives a forearm shiver to Quincy Carter, then later makes a nice diving pick of a Carter pass (the fourth of five overall, in case you need a reminder…and I know you don’t).

I really don’t have much for you on this one, Cates was just the first #12 I thought of, right before Arturo Freeman (who never should’ve been participating in the drill where he tore his ACL, but that’s a can of worms for a different day).

A quick glance at the media guides revealed that he played DB his redshirt freshman year, and even started five games, which I didn’t remember.  He moved to WR as a sophomore, and was the team’s leading receiver as a junior, and second behind Brandon Bennett as a senior.

I thought Toby Cates was a cool customer, I do remember that.  He was of average build, average speed, average talent, in other words pretty darned average.  But he got every ounce of that averageness, which is always worthy of respect.

The question: Is it ever, under any circumstances, OK to pull for Clemson?

Now, fair reader, I know you know the answer to this, and I agree it is a little bit silly to put this topic in my award-winning series.  However, there are those fringe “fans” who make the following arguments:

My husband/wife is a Clemson graduate, so I pull for them when we’re not playing each other. First of all, and I mean this as disrespectfully as it sounds, you are no fan and have no concept of rivalry.  And if your husband/wife is telling you they are pulling for South Carolina, they are LYING, because it is not possible to have two people under one roof that are that clueless about the USC-Clemson relationship.  Check credit card records, phone bills, expense reports, etc., because your black-hearted, conniving spouse is probably playing you for a chump in innumerable ways.  Get out of that sham of a relationship ASAP.

I pull for Clemson because it’s good for the state. This “state pride” argument is asinine.  You know what’s good for the state of South Carolina?  Golf courses and hurricanes that don’t hit the state of South Carolina.  You know what’s good for the Gamecocks?  Clemson losing.  Losing at everything.  Football, basketball, baseball, field hockey.  And recruiting.  I want all the top recruits in the state, and if we don’t get them I want them to go to places like Michigan or Oregon State or Arizona where the chances of them hurting us are greatly reduced.

Now, this part may surprise you a little, but I don’t want Clemson to lose every game, and here’s why:  having hope and losing is much more painful than having no hope and losing (who better than us to grasp that concept).  For example, in football I’d like to see good run of 3-9, 4-8 type seasons out of them (losing to us every year of course).  That way they would have that glimmer of hope that a turnaround is just on the horizon.  I don’t know the ideal hope to pain ratio, but I think it would be somewhere in that range.

And I’ll share this with you as a bonus – the only time you should ever pull for Georgia?

When they’re playing Clemson.