The ACC announced yesterday that the prettiest girl still alone on the dance floor, Notre Dame, is joining the conference.  Sounds good, surprisingly good, right?

Oh, wait, there’s one little detail we forgot to mention.  Quoting from the official release:

 . . . with the exception of football”

Pesky little detail there, eh?

Basically, Notre Dame is shifting from the woeful Big East (which will now completely collapse, I’ll wager) to the nervous and twitchy land of the Atlantic Coast Conference.  Same deal basically, except that Notre Dame agrees to play 5 ACC teams in football each year.  This isn’t really an innovation or change for the Golden Domers, as they already have four now-or-future ACC teams on their current schedule.

While the initial reaction to this move was widely positive for the ACC, more national pundits are beginning to question the wisdom of ACC commissioner John Swofford.  In the end, it appears that Notre Dame gets everything it wanted, and the ACC gets the same bad deal that didn’t work for the Colonial Athletic Association or the Big East.

Positives for Notre Dame include:

– Immediate upgrade to basketball revenue and profile.  The Big East is no basketball slouch, obviously, but the ACC is the brand name.

– Upgrade bowl tie-ins for football.  That’s right, the deal allows Notre Dame to leapfrog the bowl-eligible ACC schools for any bowl slot save a BCS game, which the Domers are already eligible for as the golden independent.  Swofford has guaranteed that at least one ACC school a year is gonna head to a less than prime bowl because the prime bowl can pick the Irish.

– No real commitment to do anything with the ACC in football other than play a few of them each year.  Which ND already does.

– Stable (relative to Big East) conference while still avoiding the B1G and Big 12 rules requiring full membership.  Interestingly, the ACC had the exact same rule . . . until yesterday.

– Notre Dame’s academics are more consistent with the ACC than with the Big East.

So, what are the positives for the ACC?

– They made the nightly news yesterday for something other than a scandal at North Carolina or Miami.

That’s about all I see for them.

The biggest two barometers of just how bad this deal is for the ACC are 1.  the reaction of the CTU and FSU fanbases, and 2.  – well lets wait on #2 for a moment.  Although this is only anecdotal evidence, I can report that local talk show callers to WCCP are in full-fledged revolt mode over this deal.  Many seriously believed that the SEC or Big 12 were about to offer the Tigers a slot, and this seems to all but close off that possibility.  FSU alumni that I”ve spoken with are excited about playing the Irish a couple of times a decade in football, but seem to think they could have negotiated that deal on their own without Swofford’s additional conditions.

Oh, and back to the 2nd bad barometer.  I’ll quote from the ACC official press release:

In addition to extending an invitation to Notre Dame, the Council of Presidents voted to increase the conference exit fees to three times the annual operating budget. Currently this would equate to an exit fee of over $50 million.

Why would the conference need to add this draconian penalty for leaving?  It’s not a sign of healthy conference relationships, obviously.  As you may already know, the SEC has NO exit fee – ZERO.  If you want to leave, you are welcomed to leave.  But the ACC is basically threatening its member institutions with athletic budget suicide in order to keep them at home.

Anyone else think that Notre Dame is exempt from this provision?

Here are some quick, barely researched, not fully formed thoughts from yesterday’s  surprisingly easy 48-10 victory over the East Carolina Pirates:

Tempest in a teapot. Dylan Thompson’s cameo in last Thursday’s Vanderbilt game was roundly panned by…well, everybody, including Steve Spurrier. But Spurrier obviously knew something we didn’t when he named Thompson the starter for yesterday’s game against ECU in place of Connor Shaw, because he had #17 lobbing bombs from the opening series. Thompson responded by going 21-37 for 330 yards and three touchdowns in his first career start. He wasn’t perfect, but he was much more than good enough against a porous East Carolina secondary. As Spurrier said in the post-game presser, Thompson’s confidence was as high as it’s ever been and his teammates responded and rallied around him. Good to see.

Before anyone gets excited about a quarterback controversy (which is a ridiculous notion, but I’ve already seen it floated out there), Spurrier has said Connor Shaw will start next week against Alabama-Birmingham provided his shoulder is in good working order by then. But it’s nice to know Thompson appears to be a viable option should Shaw have to sit for any reason.

Opportunistic D. The Gamecock defense gave up more than 400 yards of offense to the Pirates, but forced five turnovers and gave up only ten points. You can bet Coach Ward will not be happy with the yardage total, but I don’t think it’s anything to be concerned about unless we start to see a pattern. Speaking of the D, did Jadeveon Clowney put on about 40 lbs. of muscle this week? I don’t now if it’s the home jersey, of if they purposely made his number smaller on his jersey, but he looked frightening to me. I can only imagine how frightening he looked to the ECU left tackle.

The Head Ball Coach. There was a lot of talk over the summer that the HBC had “gotten his swagger back”, talking more smack than he had previously at USC, and nearing the level of his Florida days. Yesterday he showed a little more of the swagger, calling a wide receiver pass with 35-3, and then scoring the final touchdown on a 51-yard pass play with less than a minute to go.  In the post-game Spurrier said the reason for that last pass was “to win the fourth quarter, we talk a lot about winning the fourth quarter around here”, and USC was trailing the fourth quarter 7-6 at the time (but still leading 41-10). You know what coach, I’m ok with it. As a matter of fact, I LOVE IT.

Also in the post-game, Spurrier mentioned USC ran 50 plays in the first half, then took a jab at Clemson offensive coordinator Chad Morris by saying “boy that Clemson coach would be proud of us wouldn’t he?” (Morris’ goal is for his teams to run about 80 offensive plays per game.) Spurrier followed that up with a fit of laughter unseen in his days at USC. Classic.

“I’d keep throwing coach.” East Carolina held Marcus Lattimore to 40 yards on 13 carries, and the Gamecocks to 131 total rushing yards. Spurrier said when he asked Sean Elliott what running plays he wanted to go with, he responded, “I’d keep throwing coach.” That had to be music to Spurrier’s ears.

Better reception. Concern over the wide receiver corps grew after last week against Vandy, but the group redeemed themselves with a solid performance yesterday. Eight different receivers caught passes yesterday, led by Bruce Ellington’s four catches, and D.L. Moore’s two touchdowns. Spurrier looked anxious to take the wrappings off his new toy Shaq Roland, but #4 couldn’t come down with any long balls. He did have his first career catch and finished with two catches for 25 yards. Buster Anderson looked like an all-SEC candidate at the tight end position with four catches for 90 yards and two TD’s. So far there are no superstars to catch the ball, but it appears there are a lot of solid options.

Around the Country, aka The Transitive Property Report. After a weekend of strange games last week that had us guessing about the quality of some of our future opponents (and one of our past opponents), I thought we’d take a look at our schedule and determine how we feel about that team after week 2. There is no rhyme or reason to the TPR, it’s just how I feel and I make it up as I go:

• Vanderbilt – lost to Northwestern 23-13. Now, Northwestern did beat Syracuse, who in turn gave SoCal a run for their money yesterday, so that takes a little sting out. But Vandy still appears to be Vandy. Transitive Property Report (TPR) for Vandy: Not so good.
• UAB – DNP. TPR for UAB: Not a problem.
• Missouri – Lost to Georgia 41-20. Honestly, I expected more from these Tigers. Maybe I got caught up in the ESPN first SEC game hype. Mizzou missed a ton of opportunities and succumbed to a suffocating Georgia D. Can we hold them in check in two weeks? TPR for Mizzou: Slightly good, but cautious.
• Kentucky – Beat Kent State 47-14. Yawn, nothing scares me about this team yet. Still have to point to the drubbing at the hands of Louisville. TPR for Kentucky: Very good.
• Georgia – Beat Missouri 41-20. The score was maybe a little misleading, this game was close fairly late until a couple of critical turnovers by Mizzou. Still, UGA’s defense was scary good WITHOUT four starters. The Dogs vaunted running game and next next next next next Herschel Walker was shut down for most of the night. They appear to have found a go-to receiver in Marlon Brown. TPR for Georgia: About the same, still looks like this could go a long way in determining the East champion.
• LSU – Beat Washington 41-3. Meh. Washington has been a struggling program for years, and after muddling to a 21-12 win over San Diego State, you knew they wouldn’t put up much of a fight in the bayou. Can someone explain why this was the ESPN prime time game and UGA-Mizzou was on the Duece?  TPR for LSU: Still feels like a loss, but we’ll know more about both teams before it gets here.
• Florida – Beat Texas A&M 20-17. An outstanding win for Will Muschamp and the Gators. I missed the first half of this game, but my Twitter timeline told me TAMU was manhandling Florida in the first half. But the Gators played an inspired second half in an extremely hostile environment and put themselves back on everyone’s radar. TPR for Florida: Not enough information, feeling neutral.
• Tennessee – Beat Georgia State 51-13. The first question is, how did GSU score 13 after only scoring six on South Carolina State? Eh, not relevant, I know. Tennessee’s big win over NCSU last week doesn’t look nearly as big after the Wolfpack only beat UConn 10-7. The Vols are better, but I think this one still goes in the W column when all is said and done. TPR for Tennessee: Good, up slightly from OK.
• Arkansas – Lost to Louisiana Monroe 34-31. The shocker of the weekend by far. Outside of LSU, a lot of pundits pointed to this game as the most likely loss for the Gamecocks. But the Hogs have problems all over the place, and without Tyler Wilson they are a .500 team at best. We’ll see if and how they recover in the coming weeks. This team has owned us for a while, but this may be the year to exact a little revenge. TPR for Arkansas: MUCH more confident.
• Wofford – Beat Lincoln University 82-0 (!!!). We all know this game will be painful. We will not lose to them, but as always our ego will take a hit. TPR for Wofford: Groan, we have to play them again?
• Clemson – Beat Ball State 52-27. It’s the second week of September, and CTU is rolling. Sound familiar? The Tigers get another scrimmage next week against Furman before they get the only real test on their ACC schedule against Florida State. We’ve known the ACC is weak for years now, but they might be scraping bottom at the moment. Get used to hearing it from the upstate crowd all year as they smash cupcakes, but remind them that the outstanding Auburn team they beat got rolled by Mississippi State. TPR for Clemson: Still feeling good about it.

Go Cocks, beat [searches Google for UAB mascot] the Blazers!

How do we top Dabo in his religion-pimping, self-promotional, faux-piety disingenuity?  Let’s pray it doesn’t come to this:

South Carolina overcame a very rocky start last night – two turnovers in their first three offensive plays – to take a 10-0 lead over Vanderbilt. After the field goal that gave us points 8, 9 and 10, we barely missed an opportunity to get a stranglehold on the game as the Vandy kick returner fumbled the ensuing kickoff. Alas, a Commodore fell on it, but not to worry. On the next play Jordan Rodgers was dumped for a two yard loss, and for the first time during the game I allowed myself to actually sit back on my couch and relax a little. Things were looking good.

On the next play, Rodgers hit Jordan Matthews for a 78-yard touchdown. The dogfight was on.

This, my friends, is Carolina football.

We all like to think Carolina football is a 34-13 thrashing of CTU, or a 30-13 New Year’s Day bowl romp over Nebraska, but that’s just not the case. Carolina football is much better represented in wins like 24-21 win over Navy, 14-12 over Mississippi State, 14-3 over Tennessee, or 17-12 over Florida.

Ugly, grind ’em out wins.  But wins nonetheless.

Don’t take that the wrong way, because it’s a good thing. I grew up around Carolina football when we would lose those games. So close, but just not good enough, mixed in with an occasional blowout loss.

Now, more often than not we are just good enough, mixed in with an occasional blowout win.

So curb all the bitching and moaning for just a brief moment and let’s take stock of where we are. A close, sloppy 17-13 win over Vandy on the road is not necessarily predictive of what we’re going to do against Georgia or LSU or Florida or Arkansas or CTU.

It’s a long season. Enjoy the ride. We’re 1-0, which is a lot better than 0-1.

With that said, here are some quick, barely researched, not fully-formed thoughts from last night’s  17-13 victory over the Vanderbilt Commodores:

Game balls.  Connor Shaw was a warrior last night, and without his return to the game I’m not sure we could’ve moved the ball past the 50.  I was certain based on the pain he looked like he was in that he had a broken collarbone, separated shoulder, or something that would keep him out for the rest of the game, if not for multiple games.  His stats won’t get him on any Heisman ballots any time soon, but he refused to let us lose, and that’s the kind of guy you want as your quarterback.

Honorable mention to Marcus Lattimore.  He looked like he might still be a step slow, but Marcus at 80% is better than 95% of the running backs in the country.  Welcome back 21.

And honorable mention to Lorenzo Ward. His defensive backfield looked a little shaky at times, and his blitz call on 4th and 7 on Vandy’s last offensive play was questionable, but overall this squad looks solid.  Vandy seemed like they were perpetually on our 40-yard line in the second half, and to only give up 3 points in the last 30 minutes was quite an accomplishment.

A tale of two lines. While not exactly running free in the backfield all night, our defensive line lived up to billing. I saw a lot of guys in the rotation, and as expected 7 and 98 were in on a ton of plays. Unexpectedly, Chaz Sutton appeared to have a pretty good game as well, which was very good to see.

The o-line on the other hand was a little disappointing. Maybe having a 35 lb. weight advantage over the Vandy d-line wasn’t such a good thing. We ran the ball fine, but Vandy’s combination of blitzes and straight four-man rushes left very little time for Shaw to look downfield.

I believe we’ll see some extra conditioning drills for these guys in the next couple of weeks.

Paging Mr. Adams and Mr. Roland, please report to the offense. I saw Jerrell Adams on the field once (and I looked for him a lot) and did not see Shaq Roland at all. After all the preseason hype surrounding these two guys, particularly Adams, I expected to see them on the field a little more. Maybe Spurrier will bust out Roland at some point a la Alshon Jeffery against Kentucky three years ago.

Paging any receiver not wearing #1, please report to the offense. Ace Sanders had a few balls thrown his way but only had two catches. Dameire Byrd had one catch. No other receiver had a catch, and I can only recall D.L. Moore being thrown to. Granted, Shaw didn’t have a lot of time to throw, but we’ll have to do a lot better than 67 yards passing to beat the big boys.

Paging Brenden Nosovich to 2nd string QB. For all the talk of Dylan Thompson’s improvement during the offseason, last night he simply looked lost or scared or both. For the HBC to pull him in favor of Seth Strickland so quickly tells you he saw the same thing.

Nosovich, based on his high school career, is a similar player to Shaw. Maybe it’s time to get him a limited play package ready and move him up the pecking order. Nosovich can’t be much worse than what we saw last night.

On a side note, a little surprised we didn’t see Bruce take a single snap at Wildcat last night.

Paging a kicker, any kicker. We made a field goal and two extra points, yay. But kickoffs and punts were shaky. Gots to get a lot better fellas.

Plays of the game. I have four:  1) Shaq Wilson interception, a real momentum killer for Vandy. 2) the Justice Cunningham catch – you know the one, the only one. That was SportsCenter top 10 worthy and put us in position to score the go ahead TD.  3) Dameire Byrd running down the Vandy kick returner after we took the lead. Huge play, and glad to see a WR make a contribution. 4) the play where Connor Shaw came back into the game.

ESPN Coverage. I have to say, I was OK with the coverage of the game last night. Rece Davis is top-notch, at least as good as Chris Fowler and 75% less smug. I know a lot of people have issues with Short Tie Palmer, but he doesn’t bother me that bad. The big surprise was David Pollack. I listened to him on Atlanta radio for a couple of years and he was borderline dumb jock abysmal + he always seemed to hate USC. He was quite insightful last night. I think I’ll give him another chance.

Good win fellas. Go Cocks, beat ECU!

TRC Roundtable is a recurring feature wherein we review various hot issues, in rapid-fire-no-holds-barred style reminiscent of MSNBC’s Hardball or a Gman family reunion.

Buck:  First thought:  thousand bucks says Lattimore gets the first touch tonight on offense.

Tbone:  Good call.

Gman:  Nope, Shaq on a reverse – recruiting promise.

Tbone:  I’ve got it:  Shaw under center,  surveys field,  calls timeout.  Coming out of timeout we have a delay of game.  Then a false start.   /begins sobbing.

Buck:  Play action to 21, then deep to Byrd.  Would be money.

Gman:  The HBC does like the bomb early.  Anyone remember his first playcall at SC?

Tbone:  Whitesides, deep.

Gman: Bingo.  So its something to watch for.

Tbone:  How bout we come out in standard 2 TE set, but flex Buster out wide.  Seam route for 6.

Gman:  Or that TE drag route he likes so much.  I love that play.

Tbone:  That or PA and sneak 21 out into the flat.  That’s an HBC fav.

Buck:  We’ll run at least one jet sweep to 3 in each half.  Mark it down.

Tbone:  But what about defense?  How is Whammy gonna call it?

Buck:  Heat.  Early and Often.

Tbone:  Naw, I say wait and see how we do with just the front 4.

Buck:  [word omitted, roughly translates as “whimp”].

Tbone:  Hey, wait!  I thought we were in the nest?  Are we not?

[. . . this segment redacted as Old School quote and giggle fest follows for 10 minutes . . .]

Tbone:  /clears throat /wipes eyes . . . So what else on D?

Gman:  Oh, I predict at least one personal foul on DJ for a late hit.

Tbone:  That’s a given.  A given.

Gman:  Look for Vandy to double 7, and for 98 to have a monster night.

Tbone:  Man, I hope no one shows this post to the Vandy coaching staff!

Buck:  Yeah, they might hurt themselves laughing.  

fin

HEY FOLKS, ITS_DABO HERE!!! IM KINDA TRIED OF ALL THE NATIONAL MEDIA DISSING ON AND UNDERANKING MY CLEMSON TIGERS, SO I DECIDED TO RELEASE MY OWN RANKINGS!!!! CHECK EM OUT RIGHT HERE, BELOW THIS PART OF THIS THING:

1. THE ACC CHAMPIONS. THE BEST OF THE BEST. ITS THE ONLY CHAMPIONS THAT REALLY MATTER, AM I RIGHT???!!!

2. CLEMSON UNIVERSITY TIGERS. THATS ME!! WE WON IT ALL LAST YEAR AND COUD DO IT AGAIN THIS YEAR!!!?!?!

3. MOTHERS MILK. THE ONLY BRAND I DRINK!!!

4. KYLE PARKER. I BET THAT OLD BOY IS TEARING UP THE NFL RIGHT NOW – HECK HE WAS READY TO START WHEN I HAD HIM HERE!

5. GEORGIA. ONLY REASON I DONT RANK THEM HIGHER IS BECUASE THEY KEEP AVOIDING US ON THE CONFERENCE SCEDULE SOMEHOW!??!?

6. USC – THE ONE IN THE PACIFIC OCEAN SIDE OF AMERICA! HAHAHA BURN!

7. TERRY THE DON PHILIPS – HE GAVE ME MY FIRST REAL SHOT , WELL AT ANYTHIGN REALLY UNLESS YOU COUNT MOM, BEAR, AND THAT REALTOR I WORKD FOR IN FLORDIA!!!

8. LSU. THOSE BOYS ARE GONNA BE GOOD, AND I THINK ITS FUNNY HOW THEY CLAIM TO PLAY IN DEATH VALLEY BUT IVE NEVER SEEN THEM THERE!!

9. REALITY. ITS RANKED SLIGHTLY AHEAD OF:

10. WEST VIRGINIA. THE OLD ADAGE SAYS IT BEST: ITS BETTER TO BE LUCKY THAN GOOD!!!?! AM I RIHGT??!?

11. TEAMS THAT HAVE BEEN THERE BEFORE. YOU KNOW US, MIAMI, FLORDIA STATE, OKLAHMOA AND OHIO STATE!!

12. AUBURN. MAN, DID THEY COPY EVERYTHING FROM US OR WHAT?!?!? EXCEPT FOR THAT CHICKENHAWK, I THINK THEY GOT THAT FROM A CARTOON OR SOMETHING.

13. NO THIRTEEN – ITS BAD LUCK SO NO ONE WILL BE RANKED IT!?!

14. CAROLINA. THE ONE IN WINSTON SALEM!!!! BURN, AGAIN!!!!!!

15. DOLLAR GENERAL. ONE STOP SHOPPING AND FULL OF CLEMSON GRADS. WHAT MORE CAN A MAN ASK FOR???!?!!

16. 50/50 COTTON AND SOMETHING ELSE GRAY SWEATSHIRTS. I WEAR EM ALL THE TIME, IVE EVEN GOT ONE LONG ENOUGH TO SLEEP IN. COOOO-ZY!!! OH AND THEY SALE THEM AT DOLLAR GENERAL SO ITS PERFECT!!

17. ALABAMA. MAN IM GLAD WE DONT HAVE TOPLAY THEM CAUSE THAT WOULD BE AWKAWARD!!??!! I WAS A STAR WLAK ON THERE AND MY MOM STILL HAS HER WHOLE BEDROOM DECORATED IN THAT COLOR!!?!

18. SHEEP. THEY ARE SO FLUFFY!!?!! I ALWAYS WONDERED WHY PEOPLE AROUND HERE WERE HUGGING UP ON THEM SO MUCH, SO I FINALLY TRIED IT. ITS AWESOME AND TICKLES. COURSE UNLIKE SOME I USUALLY TRY TO KEEP ON MY:

19. PLEATED DOCKERPANTS. THEY GO WITH ANYTHING. MOM BOUGHT ME A BELT WITH SILVER HANDLES ON IT AND THEY KINDA MATCH MY ORANGE NIKES. IF I WEAR A COACHES SHIRT OR A ORANGE COAT AND TIE OR EVEN A SWEATSHIRT THEY WORK JUST FINE. I CANT FIND ANY BIG ENOUGH TO SLEEP IN WHICH IS BAD BECASUE THAT BIG SWEATSHIRT KINDA LOOKS LIKE A DRESS AND MOM LAUGHS SO HARD!!!???!! SUCKS, MAN!!!

20. TCU. TOUGH GUYS TO BEAT, AND THEYVE GOT THAT REALLY COLD BLUE ASTROTURF WAY UP THERE IN IOWA. WHATS THE DEAL WITH THAT??!?!

21. THE UNIVERSITY OF SOUTH CAROLINA GAMECOCKS. THE ONE IN JACKSONVILLE!!!! HAHAHAHAHA – GOTCHA AGAIN – BURN, BURN, BURN!!!!

22. THE ROSE BOWL. ITS THE BEST BOWL EVEN THOUGH I ALWAYS SAID THE ORANGE BOWL WAS THE BEST BOWL BUT IVE KINDA CHANGED MY MIND

23. THE CLEMSON POLICE DEPARTMENT. CANT REALLY SAY MORE, BUT LETS JUST SAY THEY WATCH OUT FOR MY PLAYERS AND WILL BRING THEM TO ME WITHOUT ARRESTING THEM LIKE EVERY WEEKEND. THAT PLUS I THIN THEY GIVE THE GUYS MONEY EVERY NOW AND THEN. LIKE I SAID DONT WANT TO SAY MUCH HERE!!??!!

24. THE MARYLAND TERIPINS. THOSE UNIFORMES ARE CRAY-CRAY, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN???!!!??! (NO REALLY DO YOU KNOW WHAT ‘CRAYCRAY’ MEANS I HOPE I USED IT RIGHT???)

25. BALL STATE. MAN I CANT QUIT LAUGHING ABOUT THERE NAME – A STATE FULLS OF BALLS!!!???!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! BURN!

Now that we’ve heard about the offense, defense, and special teams, I’m here to lay out for you the best and worse cases for the season in terms of wins and losses.  T-Bone and Buck know I’m pessimistic by nature, so the best case is going to be kind of hard for me.  As I am traditionally used to seasons where we struggle, writing about the worst case comes easy. 

Best Case:  10-2 regular season, 12-2 overall. I know that some folks want to go all 12-0 or 11-1 on us, but I’m going to be a bit more realistic and project a best case regular season record of 10-2.  Whammy comes through and proves to be at least as effective as Ellis.  Shaw protects the ball.  A couple of receivers, including Shaq Roland, emerge.  And Clowney and Devin Taylor create havoc all season long.

Projected Wins:  Vandy, ECU, UAB, Missouri, Kentucky, Georgia, Florida, Tennessee, Wofford, CTU.  The Georgia and CTU wins are the sweetest of the bunch for obvious reasons.  After the UGA win, CMR decides to abandon his holier than thou persona and return to his true Miami alum colors.  He starts things off by declaring that no Bulldog player will ever be suspended again, under any circumstances.  Dabo takes the loss in stride and decides to petition the CTU Board of Trustees to remove us from their schedule, seeking to replace us with future ACC member, Coastal Carolina. 

Projected Losses:  LSU, Arkansas.  Baton Rouge with all those crazy drunk Cajuns is just too tough, and unlike Curly Hallman, Les Miles has a horseshoe permanently situated where the sun don’t shine.  Arky continues to have our number as they eke out a 27-24 victory in Columbia.  Later it is learned that Bobby Petrino was on the Arkansas sideline the whole game, disguised as a water boy.  A careful review of the video shows that John L. Smith was unusually thirsty throughout, especially when Arky was on offense.

This would put us at 6-2 in the SEC East with a win over Georgia.  Coupled with Georgia’s loss to Missouri this puts us back in the SEC Championship Game where we meet LSU again.  LSU plays atrocious offense (sound familiar?), and they don’t have Tyronne Mathieu…ok, the “Honey Badger”, to bail them out this time.  Adam Yates boots a 45-yard field goal as time expires and we escape with a 17-14 win.  Lattimore is the MVP after running for 215 yards on 45 carries.  He scores both TD’s on 4th down one-yard plunges.  So there it is, our first SEC Championship. 

We nonetheless finish 3rd in the BCS as both Oklahoma and Wisconsin (have you seen their schedules? an absolute joke) go undefeated.  We end up in the Sugar Bowl against Michigan — and beat them to a pulp. 

We get our first SEC Championship and BCS Bowl win.

Worst Case:  7-5 regular season, 7-6 overall.  Last year’s close wins become this year’s close losses.  Auguste never recovers and other injuries pile up on D.  Shaw’s scrambles are contained and he has to force the ball into tight zone coverages, not his strong suit.

Projected Wins:  Vandy, ECU, UAB, Missouri, Kentucky, Wofford, CTU.  Coach Boom figures it out on D and Florida beats us in an ugly 14-13 slugfest where most of the points result from turnovers and special teams blunders.  Murray and Bray light it up against a weakened Gamecock secondary. We predictably fall to LSU and Arkansas in ugly fashion. The only real bright spot of the season is another win over lowly CTU.

Projected Losses:  Georiga, LSU, Tennessee, Arkansas and Florida.  

With a 3-5 SEC record, we fall way down in the bowl pecking order.  We end up in the Music City Bowl against North Carolina State, another 7-5 team.  Uninspired and slowed by a large night in Nashville the night before, the Pack dispatch us by a score of 24-17.

So there you have it, the best and worst case scenarios for the 2012 Gamecock football team.  But just remember, we are mere bloggers, and the truth probably lies somewhere intertwined in our message.  

All I know is, right now, we’re undefeated.

Go Cocks! 

We’re almost finished with our Best Case/Worst Case previews for 2012 Gamecock football, and today with focus on the third, and obviously least important, phase of football – special teams. Oh, come on, you’re not really falling for that bunk that the coaching and media elite are spouting about special teams is just as important as offense and defense are you? If so you’re watching too much Fox News. Or MSNBC. Or NFL Network. Or Alec Baldwin.

Anyway, I digress. You watch football for runs like this. Or pass plays like this. Or hits like this. Or returns like this. Or post-game rants like this. Not for some lousy kicker.

Wait, what? The punt return? That’s considered special teams?!? Ah, geez. Well, that changes things, but only a little. It’s not like we have the next Boo Williams, Chavez Donnings or Matt Thomas on the team. Or, at least I hope we don’t…

On to the BC/WC:

Placekickers/Kick Coverage

Best Case:  Adam Yates is at least as good as the guys in our recent run of average to very good kickers. He makes kicks consistently from inside 40, and hits a few beyond 40, which means the HBC has the confidence to let him try. He gets us a few touchbacks on kickoffs, but even when he doesn’t he hits high kickoffs inside the five to give our coverage guys time to get down and make a big hit. We give up zero kick returns for touchdown. Nick St. Germain gets to redshirt and build leg strength so he can be our main guy for the next four. Bonus Best Case: I don’t have to walk out of the room every time we kick a field goal.

Worst Cast:  Adam Yates misses early and often. Low kicks, wide kicks, short kicks, you name it. St. Germain is given a chance and shows a powerful leg but is terribly inconsistent. Nobody can go deep on kickoffs, resulting in long returns against us. So we resort back to pooch kicks, giving away a minimum 15 yards of field possession on every kickoff. Bonus Worst Case: I continue to leave the room during field goal attempts. Which is probably what I’ll do anyway.

Punters/Punt Coverage

Best Case:  Mike Williamson or internet legend Tyler Hull grabs the job by the short hairs in the last week of practice and doesn’t let go.  Williamson/Hull is a pleasant surprise, with consistency of length and hang time for an entire season.  We don’t give up a punt returns over 20 yards all season, and the average against us is single digits.

Worst Case:  Neither Mike Williamson nor internet legend Tyler Hull distinguish themselves. Joe Robinson plays wheel of punter with those two guys as they produce poor punt after poor punt. We still do well on returns against average because the punts are so bad the return teams can’t get to the ball. We hear players yelling “FIRE” a lot.

Kick Returners

Best Case:  Bruce Ellington breaks the no-kickoff-returns-for-TD streak early in the season, and just for good measure does it a couple more times. Joe Robinson gets return schemes into place that allow for Ellington to use his natural skills to give the Gamecocks great field position time after time. People start resorting to the pooch kick against us. And we catch them 100% of the time.

Worst Case:  Ellington continually mistakes opponents jerseys for open running lanes. Poor schemes lead to missed assignments lead to big hits on Ellington leading to turnovers. Despite our dearth of high school kick return superstars, we can’t seem to find anybody to bust a big one. Matt Thomas’ streak is alive for another season.

Punt Returners

Best Case:  Ace Sanders was good last year (outstanding if you want relative to recent history) and has improved immensely. He’s Joe Adams dangerous, and sets a single season record for Gamecock punt returns for TD (which is what, two?)

Worst Case:  Ace has trouble fielding punts, and despite being dangerous once he gets the ball, we can’t risk the turnovers. Vic Hampton would be an option, but it’s too risky to put him back there since he’s our best corner. Shaq Roland becomes our designated fair catch machine.

Snappers

Best Case:  Consistently good snaps.

Worst Case:  Consistently bad snaps.

Hey, what do you want from me?  Analyze snap RPMs or something? It’s a freakin’ snap, hit the man in the hands with it.

Coming up:  In our final Best Case/Worst Case preview, the Gman will take a look at our schedule and let you know how we can make it to the BCS Title Game…or the Chick-fil-A Bowl.