@ITS_DABO’s Preseason Top 25

HEY FOLKS, ITS_DABO HERE!!! IM KINDA TRIED OF ALL THE NATIONAL MEDIA DISSING ON AND UNDERANKING MY CLEMSON TIGERS, SO I DECIDED TO RELEASE MY OWN RANKINGS!!!! CHECK EM OUT RIGHT HERE, BELOW THIS PART OF THIS THING:

1. THE ACC CHAMPIONS. THE BEST OF THE BEST. ITS THE ONLY CHAMPIONS THAT REALLY MATTER, AM I RIGHT???!!!

2. CLEMSON UNIVERSITY TIGERS. THATS ME!! WE WON IT ALL LAST YEAR AND COUD DO IT AGAIN THIS YEAR!!!?!?!

3. MOTHERS MILK. THE ONLY BRAND I DRINK!!!

4. KYLE PARKER. I BET THAT OLD BOY IS TEARING UP THE NFL RIGHT NOW – HECK HE WAS READY TO START WHEN I HAD HIM HERE!

5. GEORGIA. ONLY REASON I DONT RANK THEM HIGHER IS BECUASE THEY KEEP AVOIDING US ON THE CONFERENCE SCEDULE SOMEHOW!??!?

6. USC – THE ONE IN THE PACIFIC OCEAN SIDE OF AMERICA! HAHAHA BURN!

7. TERRY THE DON PHILIPS – HE GAVE ME MY FIRST REAL SHOT , WELL AT ANYTHIGN REALLY UNLESS YOU COUNT MOM, BEAR, AND THAT REALTOR I WORKD FOR IN FLORDIA!!!

8. LSU. THOSE BOYS ARE GONNA BE GOOD, AND I THINK ITS FUNNY HOW THEY CLAIM TO PLAY IN DEATH VALLEY BUT IVE NEVER SEEN THEM THERE!!

9. REALITY. ITS RANKED SLIGHTLY AHEAD OF:

10. WEST VIRGINIA. THE OLD ADAGE SAYS IT BEST: ITS BETTER TO BE LUCKY THAN GOOD!!!?! AM I RIHGT??!?

11. TEAMS THAT HAVE BEEN THERE BEFORE. YOU KNOW US, MIAMI, FLORDIA STATE, OKLAHMOA AND OHIO STATE!!

12. AUBURN. MAN, DID THEY COPY EVERYTHING FROM US OR WHAT?!?!? EXCEPT FOR THAT CHICKENHAWK, I THINK THEY GOT THAT FROM A CARTOON OR SOMETHING.

13. NO THIRTEEN – ITS BAD LUCK SO NO ONE WILL BE RANKED IT!?!

14. CAROLINA. THE ONE IN WINSTON SALEM!!!! BURN, AGAIN!!!!!!

15. DOLLAR GENERAL. ONE STOP SHOPPING AND FULL OF CLEMSON GRADS. WHAT MORE CAN A MAN ASK FOR???!?!!

16. 50/50 COTTON AND SOMETHING ELSE GRAY SWEATSHIRTS. I WEAR EM ALL THE TIME, IVE EVEN GOT ONE LONG ENOUGH TO SLEEP IN. COOOO-ZY!!! OH AND THEY SALE THEM AT DOLLAR GENERAL SO ITS PERFECT!!

17. ALABAMA. MAN IM GLAD WE DONT HAVE TOPLAY THEM CAUSE THAT WOULD BE AWKAWARD!!??!! I WAS A STAR WLAK ON THERE AND MY MOM STILL HAS HER WHOLE BEDROOM DECORATED IN THAT COLOR!!?!

18. SHEEP. THEY ARE SO FLUFFY!!?!! I ALWAYS WONDERED WHY PEOPLE AROUND HERE WERE HUGGING UP ON THEM SO MUCH, SO I FINALLY TRIED IT. ITS AWESOME AND TICKLES. COURSE UNLIKE SOME I USUALLY TRY TO KEEP ON MY:

19. PLEATED DOCKERPANTS. THEY GO WITH ANYTHING. MOM BOUGHT ME A BELT WITH SILVER HANDLES ON IT AND THEY KINDA MATCH MY ORANGE NIKES. IF I WEAR A COACHES SHIRT OR A ORANGE COAT AND TIE OR EVEN A SWEATSHIRT THEY WORK JUST FINE. I CANT FIND ANY BIG ENOUGH TO SLEEP IN WHICH IS BAD BECASUE THAT BIG SWEATSHIRT KINDA LOOKS LIKE A DRESS AND MOM LAUGHS SO HARD!!!???!! SUCKS, MAN!!!

20. TCU. TOUGH GUYS TO BEAT, AND THEYVE GOT THAT REALLY COLD BLUE ASTROTURF WAY UP THERE IN IOWA. WHATS THE DEAL WITH THAT??!?!

21. THE UNIVERSITY OF SOUTH CAROLINA GAMECOCKS. THE ONE IN JACKSONVILLE!!!! HAHAHAHAHA – GOTCHA AGAIN – BURN, BURN, BURN!!!!

22. THE ROSE BOWL. ITS THE BEST BOWL EVEN THOUGH I ALWAYS SAID THE ORANGE BOWL WAS THE BEST BOWL BUT IVE KINDA CHANGED MY MIND

23. THE CLEMSON POLICE DEPARTMENT. CANT REALLY SAY MORE, BUT LETS JUST SAY THEY WATCH OUT FOR MY PLAYERS AND WILL BRING THEM TO ME WITHOUT ARRESTING THEM LIKE EVERY WEEKEND. THAT PLUS I THIN THEY GIVE THE GUYS MONEY EVERY NOW AND THEN. LIKE I SAID DONT WANT TO SAY MUCH HERE!!??!!

24. THE MARYLAND TERIPINS. THOSE UNIFORMES ARE CRAY-CRAY, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN???!!!??! (NO REALLY DO YOU KNOW WHAT ‘CRAYCRAY’ MEANS I HOPE I USED IT RIGHT???)

25. BALL STATE. MAN I CANT QUIT LAUGHING ABOUT THERE NAME – A STATE FULLS OF BALLS!!!???!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! BURN!

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3 Responses to @ITS_DABO’s Preseason Top 25

  1. Stinky McPinky says:

    Terrible. No way that Dabo actually ranks reality that high.

    • tbone says:

      Only if he means HIS version of reality, and NOT the version of reality that showed in the Orange Bowl. Put another way, he thinks 70-33 was not reality.

  2. Stinky McPinky says:

    LOL, so do most Clemson fans!

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