The Big 10 11 12 Ten revealed its new logo this morning.  The graphic, which must have taken-at a minimum-three minutes of thought and effort, is already being described as “awful”, “pathetic”, “confusing”, and “evoking the sheer futility inherent in all of man’s endeavors.”   [ok, the last one is mine, but still]

We here at TRC decided to offer  our own considerable artistic energies to the Big Ten in the hope that a better logo can be developed.

So, after the jump, we present you with the new, New Big Ten Logo.   You’re welcomed in advance, Big Ten:

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The Missing Bash Brother – I saw only a few excerpts from the Chris Fowler interview with Cameron Newton last night, but one part in particular struck me.  Fowler asked him about the reports that he said “the money was too much” at Auburn, and Newton responded with “I’m not here to talk about reports…blah, blah.”  Then what in blue blazes are you there to talk about?  Your complete awesomeness?  How you unconditionally love your slimeball dad who almost cost you your college career with his greed?  The answer immediately struck me as Mark McGuire-esque.  We all know how that turned out.

Gus Malzahn, Your Ship Is Here – So the reports are Vanderbilt University wants to

Worth only half as much as Steve Austin, but still…

pay Gus Malzahn three MEEEEEEELION dollars to be their head football coach.  Let’s break this down – the school with less than zero football tradition and no athletic department wants to pay $3mm to a guy whose resume reads:  Springdale High head coach, Arkansas assistant, Tulsa assistant, Auburn assistant.   I don’t see “head coach” next to any colleges in that list.  Hey, the guy has done a heckuva job at Auburn and probably deserves a shot as a head coach.  But mercy, Vandy, three million bucks should be reserved for guys with names like Saban.  Or Buck.  (I mean, I am available.)

In non-Auburn Related News – “Quitter” is about the worst name anyone in athletics can be called.  Urban Meyer can be forgiven for last year’s flirtation with retirement because of health issues.  But calling it quits on UF the second year in a row indicates a problematic pattern.  If I’m a university president or AD I think long and hard before hiring this guy.

Ryan Broyles, Really? – Marcus Lattimore and Alshon Jeffery are racking up the post-season awards.  But this morning I saw that Jeffery only made SECOND team A-A on the Walter Camp Foundation team.  How dare them! (Insert appropriate amount of righteous indignation.)  Justin Blackmon deserves his spot as he’s probably the best WR in the country this year.  But Ryan Broyles?  He has impressive numbers, but Alshon is the better player hands down. 

Is it Just Me? – To my great surprise, I’m pretty much over our beatdown from last week’s SECCG.  Normally a 56-17 loss would keep me in a funk for the better part of a decade.  But for some reason I’ve pretty much put this one out of my head  and am looking forward to the Chick-fil-a Bowl and 2011.  Judging by the brisk sales of CFA Bowl tickets, it looks like a lot of you feel the same way.

We’ve all got our own Steven Orr Spurrier impression.

Even the National Freshman of the Year:

We all saw it.  We all cringed. 

Late in the 56-17 Auburn beatdown of the limp Gamecocks, ABC Sideline reporter Tracy Wolfson launched into a 90 second human interest story on Florida Blinn College Professional Auburn Quarterback Cam Newton and his favorite beverage, “Cammy-Cam Juice.”  The beverage, which Wolfson sampled and described as “too sweet for my taste” (/gets the vapors, faints) has since become the subject of much speculation and internet punditry.

Fortunately, dear reader, we at TRC made contact with our sources (Wikileaks’ Julian Assange, TMZ, Radaronline, and Cosmo magazine (what? – I read it for the surveys)) and can reveal, for the first time anywhere, the actual ingredients in Cammy Cam Juice.  Get pen and paper ready, as you’re gonna need this elixir for your next backyard pickup game:

-    6 ounces of Pedialyte (until Gatorade comes through with enough jack to make your daddy smile)

-    1 splash of Southern Comfort from a discarded paper cup at Victoryland Dog Track

-    2 tablespoons of a strong safeties’ soul (Gamecock preferred, but may substitute toasted Mark Barron)

– 1 cup shredded test answers from University of Florida Professor Renny Niehbur’s Humanities 101 final

-    1 teaspoon of lint from the exhaust fan of a Dell Laptop, which is totally legit, but will be thrown out the window as soon as the authorities arrive

-  1 drop of Felix Felicis, DO NOT substitute Veritas Serum

-   remaining ink from the pen of the CHIO that wrote your essay project in Professor Valerie Schmook’s Introduction to Ethics class

-   1 sprinkle of fairy dust

-   1 teaspoon of Verne Lundquist’s drool

-   1 of SEC commissioner’s gonads (keep the other in your pocket for insurance)

-  $180,000.00

[The proceeding is brought to you by Edelbrock Performance-Plus Camshafts]

And now, instant analysis from the Georgia Dome.

Everything before kickoff:  Didn’t suck.

Everything after kickoff:  Sucked

That is all.  We will attempt to stir up optimism at a later date.  Much later.

TRC will be live from Atlanta this weekend for the SEC Championship festivities.  Buck and T-bone will be attending the SEC Coaches Luncheon on Friday at noon, and Buck and Mrs. Buck will be in the Dome for the title game on Saturday. 

Be sure to follow us on Twitter – @rubrchickens – see link on the right side of this page – for Cam Newton-free tweets and photos.  (If you’re not on Twitter, then first of all, what the heck is wrong with you, and second of all, it’s really easy to get plugged in.)  We hope to give you a good feel for what the weekend is like if you can’t be here in person. 

And, of course, we’ll have blog updates shortly after the game and throughout the next week.