A Few Midweek thoughts as we prepared for the Midshipman:

Copycat:  No, I’m not referring to CTU (although as we’ve mentioned before, everything they do is about as original as Chek Cola).  Instead I’m referring to the Coach Spurrier’s press conference assertion that the way to defend the option is the way that option teams defend the option when they play other option teams.  Or something.  It wasn’t really clear to me, but I kinda felt like the HBC shouldn’ta aughta said it.  Well, anyway . . .

Run to the ball:  Sort of the goal on defense, right?  Well, not this week for the Carolina.  Coach Johnson has our guys going through their practice paces without a football, in order to stress the importance of staying with their assignments.  This should be a surprise to noone, as several of our secondary guys have been playing without balls for a couple of weeks now.

1984:  Its never going to stop, is it?  References to that Navy game from almost thirty years ago are at a fever pitch right now, despite a wide range of facts that show its complete irrelevance.  It was a game with different coaching staffs, different schemes, different players, and a completely different athletic environment at The USC.   It happened before any player on either side of this week’s tilt were even born (Wait, Frisby’s gone, right??).  We’ve played, and soundly defeated, the Midshipmen two times since then, and WE LOST ANOTHER GAME THAT YEAR, PEOPLE!  But still the ghost of that game is ressurrected again and again.  Maybe the only way to kill the legacy of that old Navy game is to score 84 points on them this weekend.  So there, that’s the goal.

Volleyball:  You ever play volleyball?  Me neither.  But when I’ve been forced to do it by gym teachers or bikini clad beachgoers (what, it happened.  Once.), there is often this rotation thing after each point – you know the server moves over to his/her left and someone else moves back to serve and so forth, right?.   Well, that’s the Carolina defense.  Despite spending all spring, summer and fall training our old starting free safety to play strong, starting strong safety to play backup spur, and starting spur to play backup linebacker, we’ve apparently decided to scrap the whole exercise and move everyone back.  For now at least.  Maybe.  Actually, the volleyball analogy doesn’t work as you can’t give up 79 points in two games of volleyball.

Meme Watch:  As followers of TRC will probably remember, I occasionally (and unsuccesfully) try to force a viral happening on the Gamecock Interneteratti.  For example, I just created the word “interneteratti.”  Please use this term frequently from now on.  You are welcomed.  In the same vein, I’ve been troubled by the lack of a nickname for recently-recognized National Player of the Week, Melvin Ingram.  I know his odd combination of size, speed, power, girth, and athleticism makes him a difficult player to categorize for the coaches, but as fans let’s settle on something to call him, at least.  Accordingly, I hereby suggest we refer to #6 as “Boomstick” hereinafter and forevermore.  This moniker appeals both to the nerdy B-movie afficionado in me, and also succinctly captures his manly essense.  There, I’ve done it, prepare to be overrun by Boomstick references, sportsworld.

Tribble in Pickens County:  If you haven’t been exposed to the CTU handwringing over former third string QB Tribble Reese and his pregame antics last week, then do yourself a favor.  First, visit Tigernet, use your fake handle and password (admit it, you have one) and spy on the meltdown.  Next, read the media coverage of the event that is linked therein.  Then, read the Athletic Director’s response, wherein he asserts that Coach Dabo Swinney was not aware of the entire affair.  Finally, look at this picture FROM THE FREAKING EVENT showing just how unaware Dabo must be to claim to be unaware.   Oh, and visit Tribble’s own website, which was obviously written by Tribble himself (preview: he likes him some Tribble).

Pro Combat Unis:  I AM NOT ACKNOWLEDGING THAT THESE THINGS EXIST.

You’ve seen it, but have you really SEEN it. The fake punt executed by South Carolina on Saturday is magical, and not just because of what happens between the time the ball is snapped and the time 6’2″, 270-pound Melvin Ingram passes over the Georgia goal line.

It’s the small things that happen before, during and after that make it so very entertaining.

(Before we get into it, let’s just get it out there that it’s the greatest fake punt in the history of South Carolina football. Granted, I have done zero research on this, and the only other fake punt I can even think of is Ryan Succop’s accidental fake punt against Mississippi State in the first game of the 2006 season. But I’ve made my mind up, and refuse to be dissuaded.)

We’re going to walk through the video above to point out why this two minutes and fourteen seconds is so gloriously entertaining, but first let me set the scene for those of you who may have been in a beer- or bourbon- induced stupor.

Georgia had scored a touchdown to take a 13-7 lead, and followed that up with what was very nearly a successful onside kick attempt.  Unfortunately for UGA, Baccari Rambo (the guy who doesn’t think Marcus Lattimore is that tough) was offsides by a shoelace, and after the re-kick USC ran three plays and faced a fourth down from their own 32-yard line.  UGA used a timeout with 2:20 left in the half.

We’ll pick it up as ESPN comes back from commercial break (time code is from the YouTube video above):

• 00:00 – Mark Richt’s seventh choice for defensive coordinator, Todd Grantham, is getting in the face of some UGA offensive linemen before they go back on the field. Grantham is the stereotypical loud-mouthed, red-faced, verge-of-a-stroke coordinator that can’t understand why his players aren’t half as dedicated and/or intense as he is. I can only imagine what he is saying to his barely interested players, “WE GOT YOU THE BALL BACK YOU SORRY SACKS OF @$&#%$!!! NOW GET OUT THERE AND DO SOMETHING WITH IT!!!” This, in addition to his mini-fued with the HBC last year, makes what’s about to happen so much sweeter.
• 00:12 – By now the Gamecocks have seen the defensive/return alignment they were looking for, and the fake is on. I wish I knew what that was, but I only coach third-graders, and the UGA alignment looks pretty darned normal to me.
• 00:14 – Ingram takes the direct snap. Joey Scribner-Howard peels off to the right, as does the gunner, Stephon Gilmore, who takes two unaware UGA players with him. The right side of the line blocks as normal, while the left side gets on the outside shoulders of their men to create the hole for Ingram.
• 00:15 – Human tank Byron Jerideau takes aim on the one Bulldog the Gamecocks expected to be unoccupied. I can’t make out the number of the UGA player, but he’s small, so he takes the route of self-preservation and hits the deck when he sees Jerideau coming. Justice Cunningham is trailing Ingram, and I’m not sure if this is by design or if Ingram just got out of the blocks faster than Cunningham.
• 00:17 – Ingram is in the clear. At this point I’m thinking “first down, awesome”.
• 00:18 – Brandon Boykin, after briefly thinking “I got this”, has his life flash before his eyes and brain screams “HOLY MOTHER OF GOD NOOOOOOO!!” The future NFL cornerback hits the deck as well.
• 00:19 – Melvin Ingram direct quote, “Why would a little guy like that try to tackle me up high?”
• 00:21 – Unlike Jimmy Legree later in the game, Devonte Holloman says to self, “Whoa, he might score, I better block somebody.”
• 00:24 – Approximately ten seconds after the start of the play, Melvin Ingram scores from 68 yards out. Actually, he takes the snap at the 25-yard line, so he covers 75 yards, makes two guys miss, and outruns the last guy.  270 pounds. Full pads. All in ten seconds.
• 00:25 – Reggie Bowens strut.
• 00:27 – Ingram runs to the edge of the tunnel and ever so briefly you can see him salute the UGA faithful.
• 00:29 – Our first look at Hairy Dawg’s classic reaction.
• 00:32 – Mark Richt goes 1/3 of the way onto the field to retrieve his flung clipboard/play chart. Uncharacteristic for the normally stoic Richt (hot seeeeeeat). This is interesting, because as much as the HBC is known for throwing his visor, his clipboard-to-visor throwing ratio is about 10:1 since coming to USC. Maybe it’s catching on.
• 00:46 – Sean McDonough’s first mention of DeAngelo Smith (the other #6) as the actual touchdown maker.
• 00:51 – McDonough, confidently, “It appears to be DeAngelo Smith.”
• oo:56 – Ingram turns his back to the camera so we can see his name, and McDonough, slightly stunned, “No, it IS Ingram.”
• 1:00 – Shot of smug Spurrier. We LOVE smug Spurrier.
• 1:27 – Replay begins from overhead camera. Great angle, I wish we had more close-ups of the fans’ faces.
• 1:58 – We need to send this camera guy (or gal) a gift basket. He follows Ingram across the goal line, then immediately notices Hairy Dawg and focuses in on the stunned reaction. There are very few things funnier than than seeing a huge-headed cartoon mascot showing real human emotion. Someone needs to make a gif of that so we can use it as a UGA disappointment meme forever and ever.

 

Some quick, barely researched, not fully formed thoughts from yesterday’s wild and wooly game in Athens:

Don’t think, just enjoy. We have problems, certainly, but beating Georgia is just a half step below beating Clemson in the rivalry pecking order. This game was talked about all summer as an elimination game in the East, and we walked out of Sanford Stadium with a win. Don’t ever take for granted a win on the road in the SEC, especially when it’s in Athens.

As much fun as you can have with your clothes on. For sheer entertainment value, this is one of USC’s greatest games ever. It was a brutal and glorious roller coaster ride of a game that was hard to watch at times, and a tall, cold glass of liquid joy at others (metaphor alert!).

I have seen Marcus Lattimore, and Isaiah Crowell, you are no Marcus Lattimore. #21 was having a quiet but effective day, but Sean McDonough and Matt Millen were too busy gushing over the exploits of Crowell to notice.  Until the fourth quarter, that is, and then Lattimore loaded the offense on his back and carried us to victory. He is special, and firmly put himself in the early Heisman discussion yesterday.

Melvin Ingram, Melvin Ingram, Melvin BYGOD Ingram. I wrote in last week’s Snap Judgments that people need to start talking about Ingram. After yesterday, it will be impossible NOT to talk about him. The term freak is way overused, but it absolutely describes this guy.

Bad Stephen, BAD. Tbone texted us yesterday morning and said he had a strong feeling that Stephen Garcia was going to have a major faceplant against UGA. Early on, it looked like his premonition was becoming reality. Fortunately, he never made any backbreaking mistakes and made a great throw to Ace Sanders late to get us in UGA territory. But Bad Stephen needs to go away. Forever.

Thumbs up O-line. These guys deserve a mention for no sacks given up (at least that I can remember), and paving the way for Marcus.

Obligatory Jadeveon Clowney bullet point. Clowney admitted last night the level of competition increased greatly yesterday against the Bulldogs. He struggled at times, but came away with his first two career sacks, including separating Aaron Murray from the football late to give Ingram his second touchdown. (By the way, that play looked a LOT like it belonged in his high school highlight tape.)

The secondary needs help. Stephon Gilmore played better, but CC Whitlock was beaten for two touchdowns, and Murray carved us up in the fourth quarter. Hopefully the return of Victor Hampton in two weeks from suspension will give us a boost. This is the area that really continues to concern me.

Steve Spurrier is evil, and he is a genius. On the heels of a barely unsuccessful onside kick by UGA, SOS green lights (he says it was John Butler’s call) a fake punt with a 270-pound DL. Vintage Spurrier. Oh, and with the game on the line he makes the decision to feed #21. OK, you got me, that doesn’t take a genius to figure out.

Random crazy stat of the night. With 3:30 to go in the third quarter, the score was 20-14 in favor of UGA. Over the final 18:30, we outscored them 31-22.

Navy is terrible and we will beat them badly. << This is a false statement. Get yourselves ready, because this game is going to be a root canal. I think we win, but we will not feel good about ourselves when it’s over.

In other news, CTU upsets Wofford 35-27. Not real fun to play those guys, is it Tigers?

Because we’re so busy and not very bright, we didn’t really prepare anything special for one of the biggest games of the year.  So at the last minute we decided to interview a true UGA insider.  We’re talking, like, sleeping with the enemy type stuff.

We’re talking Tbone’s WIFE.  That’s right, our very own Tbone is married to a UGA grad.  So, as a benefit, we get the inside scoop on the Bulldogs, their shaky coaching situation, and even the uniforms they wore last week.

Well, at least we thought we were getting the inside scoop. Instead, we just walked away feeling bad about ourselves.  And it went a little something like this…

Join us Sunday as we recap the Georgia game.  We’ll also have extended discussion about WHY THE HECK TBONE MISSED THE SECOND HALF OF THE GAME (Spoiler Alert: He was forced to go to a wedding). 

We’ll also be previewing Navy, and why it still hurts so bad to even mention their name.  You can find the show here:

TRC Unleashed – Episode 5

Go Cocks!

Most awesomely ridiculous drawing of football players with mascot heads I have ever seen:

Couple/three points:

– Yeah I know it’s from last week, and that this is THIS week, and Boise/UGa stuff is old news, but I see what I see when I see it.

– The drawing is from ESPN the Magazine, I think, so h/t to them I guess.  BUT, I don’t think the artist knew what the BSU mascot is.  The thing drawn here looks like a weird Toad Demon, with a Steve Taneyhill mullet.  Actually, maybe Boise should consider going with this over their banal Bronco.  THE BOISE STATE WEIRD TOAD DEMONS WITH STEVE TANEYHILL MULLETS TAKE THE FIELD!!!   It could work.

– Oh, and why is the thing breathing fire?  I can believe that horses and dogs can be dressed up to look like football players, but the fire nostrils tell me it was a Lord of the Rings nerd pushing the ink pens.

– Is that lightning or slobber coming out the dog’s mouth?   I would go with slobber, since that’s the closest to bulldog reality (I’m talking about the mascot, NOT THE FANS, geeze people!), and it would be a good rock-paper-scissors answer to the flaming nostrils, but its gotta be lightning, right?  Otherwise The Mothership is betraying a huge bias in favor of BSU and against the SEC, and that can’t right, can it?

– The dog is kneeing the flaming toad monster in the groin, which, as we all know from hard experience, is an accurate portrayal of Georgia sportsmanship.

– The toad monster and the dog are apparently fighting over a giant ear of corn.  What’s strange here is that neither dogs or toads eat corn as best as I can remember.

– Why is the dog wearing a kilt and knee-high socks?  Is Georgia Scottish in some way I’m not aware of?

– Upon reflection, the unis on both of these animals are far superior to the ones worn by either side in the game.

– The pawhands on that dog make me sad inside – it looks like the poor little thing is too tired and abused to even lift them.  Actually, if you saw the game, this is the most accurate thing about the whole drawing.

 

Maybe, just maybe, the SEC will avoid expansion again (yes, we get the irony of a SC blog objecting to expansion, WE GET IT).

But if we do avoid destroying everything we ever loved about the SEC, it might be because of the loveable, precocious Baylor Bears.

In celebration, we offer the following:

 

[by the way, NEVER Google "dancing bear" unless you have your filter
 on high.  Trust me, and you're welcome.]

 

On the heels of the success of Mike Leach’s Swing Your Sword, comes the newest blockbuster from a college coaching legend: the Head Ball Coach himself, Stephen Orr Spurrier.  In addition to valuable insights into his coaching philosophies (and his head scratching decision to start Connor Shaw over Steven Achilles Garcia in the ECU tilt) comes his definitive guide to success as a college signal-caller.  Among his wealth of sage advice:

• Shave – leaders of men don’t have facial hair. That movie “300” was a crock of bull.
• Don’t wear your cap backwards. Actually, the bill of a cap should always face directly frontwise, it wasn’t made to shade your ear.
• If you’re not on the football field, there’s no reason to not be wearing a freshly pressed golf shirt, khakies, and penny loafers. Socks optional if you’re feeling a little rebellious.
• Shirts are required at all times. I am the exception as I have very sensitive areolas, and as a Heisman Winner I can take my shirt off whenever I feel like it.
• That shirt that you’re wearing (I hope): Tuck it in.
• Tell it like it is. Just be prepared to sit for long periods of time when you do, bucko.
• Stay away from anything beyond a PG movie, even PG-13 is a little too risky.
• Reserve alcohol for after your NFL career. Since you won’t have an NFL career, it’s probably best you stay  away from the sauce forever.
• Open doors for ladies, ALWAYS.  Except the door to your dorm room, Romeo.
• Never think on the field, I’ve already got that covered.
• Get the ball out on time.
• If you can’t get the ball out on time, GET THE DAMN BALL OUT, SON.
• I really need you to audible, but don’t, cause you’ll just screw it up.
• No backwards plays.
• No sideways plays.
• Diagonal plays are allowed as long as they’re frontwards-diagonal.  THIS IS A REAL THING, SMARTASS.
• “Damn”, “hell”, and “ass” are acceptable profanities, but only in the privacy of the huddle or when your holding my golf bag.  Oh, and by the way, NEVER touch my golf bag.
• Convince me you can kick a game-winning field goal even though you’re not our kicker.
• Shouldn’t you be out organizing some pass-skel instead of reading books?  Who do you think you are, Barbara Walters?
• Flip-flops should only be worn in the shower, the way God intended.
• Snot rockets and snake draining allowed, but not in the presence of ladies.  By “ladies” I mean my other quarterbacks.
• There are only two acceptable answers (and no acceptable questions):  “Yes, sir” and “No excuse, sir”.
• Always remember I hate your sorry ass and I really want to play the guy behind you. But hey, it ain’t personal, cause when I play him I’ll hate his sorry ass, too.
• Start all sentences–not with a capital letter–but with “as we all know”.
• End all sentences–not with periods–but with “but anyway…”
• Be named Danny.
• Being named Shane or Rex is OK, I guess.
• But mostly be named Danny.
• Under no circumstances should you be named Doug or Blake.
• Without anything even approaching adequate blocking, you should be able to survey the defense, take a seven-step drop, make the correct read, and fire a strike on any down and distance.  (But you probably already knew that.)
• Tattoos: not acceptable unless you would be proud to have your mother read it aloud in church.
• Piercings: absolutely not, unless it’s in your mother’s ear lobes in church.
• Suggested reading:  “They Call Me Coach” by John Wooden, the Old Testament’s Book of Job, and the Complete Songbook of Glenn Campbell.
• Speaking of songs, you might want to add some Karen Carpenter to your pre-game iPod playlist. Soothing.
• You need a nemesis.  I find that large, round, orange, slow-witted ones work best.
• Don’t try to swipe some post-touchdown greenery from the Sanford Stadium hedges.  Et up with chiggers, trust me.
• Don’t listen to Junior, I’ve never trusted that herky-jerky kid.

Available for $25.99 from all major online and retail outlets – pick up your copy today! (don’t really, as we have the only “copy” that exists, but as a service to our faithful readers, we will continue to release excepts when appropriate).

Some quick, barely researched, not fully-formed thoughts from last night’s season opener:

– The insurance salesmen, accountants, doctors and lawyers were right.  When the decision to start Connor Shaw over Stephen Garcia was announced on Thursday, there were a lot of fans that took to the world-wide web to express their displeasure.  Mild as my objection was, I was one of those folks.  There were a few who defended Steve Spurrier with tried and true variations of “You’re an insurance salesman, you think you know more about football than Steve Spurrier?”

Well, I certainly don’t know more about football than the HBC, but I know what I saw Saturday night.  Connor Shaw looked like a squirrel trying to cross I-77 in his three series, and when Garcia entered in the second quarter a calm came over the offense.  All of our failings against ECU cannot be blamed on Shaw, just as all our successes cannot attributed to Garcia, but I do know that once Garcia came into the game we outscored ECU 56-20.  I’ll take that over great scrimmage stats any day.

– #7 is for real, but people need to start talking about #6 .  Jadeveon Clowney was big, fast and powerful, just like we’ve been told.  You noticed when he was in the game, and you noticed when he was not.  I know, he wasn’t playing against an SEC-caliber offensive line, but still, you have to be excited about the future of the War Daddy.  The story on the DL, however, was the play of Melvin Ingram.  He is a freakish athlete (did you see the hands on that pick?) that was all over the place last night, and deserves to be talked about in all-SEC terms.

– Lattimore was Lattimore and Jeffery was Jeffery – And thank God for that.  #21 even looked a little quicker and more decisive running the ball.

– We have a return game! Ace Sanders’ PR for TD was easily the most exciting play of the game last night, and the first time we’ve seen that out of the Gamecocks since 2003 (Chavez Donnings, anyone?)  Bruce Ellington looked great on kickoff returns as well.

– Speaking of Sanders and Ellington… We have a lot of weapons on offense, we just have to find a way to get the ball in their hands.  I was a little surprised we didn’t see any short passes to one of those two guys to try to get them out in space (Sanders’ short TD catch doesn’t count), but that part of the playbook may be closed until next week.  Shon Carson looked very quick with the ball in his limited touches, and I was really disappointed we didn’t get to see Dameire Byrd last night.  Hopefully that situation will be cleared up by next week.

–  Stephon Gilmore is not a shutdown corner. This situation continues to disturb me.  A great cornerback is going to get beaten on occasion, but a great cornerback is going to make a great play every once in a while too.  I haven’t seen a great play out of defensive #5 in quite a while.  Somebody please tell me why I’m wrong, I would like to be reassured.

– Don’t let the 37 points bother you. I really think our defense will be better this year than last.  ECU’s points were a product of turnovers and their offense, which will score a lot of points on a lot of people this year.  And they’ll need every one of them.

– Game Ball:  Antonio Allen.  Wow, 16 tackles, 2 caused fumbles, 1 fumble return for TD.  Have yourself a night young man.

– We will be playing an ultra-desperate team next week. UGA was manhandled by Boise last night (side note: mad props to Boise, I was wrong), and conventional wisdom says UGA will be playing to save Mark Richt’s job.  This could also wind up being an elimination game in the SEC East race, so USC will have to eliminate the mistakes from last night and be ready for a hostile bunch of Dogs.

Join us for TRC Unleashed tomorrow night where we’ll discuss these topics plus many more.

Go Cocks!

Instead of our usual Sunday night podcast, we’re going to move it to Monday at 6 p.m. and call it the TRC Unleashed Labor Day Spectacular!  Not really, but we had to move it to Labor Day evening due to some Sunday family frivolity.  Anyway, we’ll be recapping the ECU game, previewing the UGA game, and wrapping up the first weekend of college football.  You’ll be able to listen live here:

TRC Unleashed – Episode 4

Also, be sure to follow us on Twitter (@rubrchickens).  Tbone will be giving live game tweets from Bank of America Stadium along with the Gman, while I’ll be giving live game updates from my couch.

Go Cocks!