Since Saturday night I’ve had roughly a million thoughts about the South Carolina football season, and all but about seven of them involve the quarterback position.  I’ve read opinions on Spurrier/Garcia/Shaw from good professional writers, bad professional writers, bloggers, blog commenters, message board hounds, emailers and texters.

So, for this edition of Tusings, I’ll flush my brain of a few of these thoughts, and even tack on a couple of non-QB thoughts at the end.

The change from Garcia to Shaw had to be made. What your eyes tell you are confirmed by the statistics – Stephen Garcia is having a rotten senior season. A completion percentage hovering around 50 percent and a staggering nine interceptions against four touchdowns stick out the most. Sure, you can blame a suddenly porous offensive line, you can nitpick our route running, or you can question our (lack of) game planning or play calling, but too many bad throws and too many bad decisions have ultimately been his downfall.

Nobody knows what Connor Shaw is as a college quarterback, but the majority of Gamecock fans are ready to find out. It begins on Saturday against Kentucky, and there will be 80,000 sets of crossed fingers in Williams-Brice.

The timing is right. A couple of writers floated the idea that Spurrier didn’t want to make the change with a critical three-game road stretch coming up after Kentucky. My thinking was the timing couldn’t be more perfect – give Shaw a chance to get comfortable in the home environment against an inferior (I hope) team. If Garcia starts this week, lays another egg, then where does that leave you going into Starkville, Knoxville and Fayettevile? At least this lets you know if you have a viable option in Shaw. Plus, I know Shaw threw two picks in the fourth quarter against Auburn last year, but his play in an extremely hostile environment, in an extremely difficult situation, was actually not bad.  

“Garcia is trying to do too much.” Probably true. He knows what this season means to the Gamecock faithful, and he knows no matter what it is his last in Columbia, and he wants to win. Bad. This makes him willing to take chances we sometimes can’t afford. His last interception against Vandy (the flip to Alshon at the goal line) proves that. But with two of the top offensive weapons in the country, we need more solid, and less spectacular.

“If Shaw was ready (or any good), he would’ve been in there by now.” Disagree with the premise, because I don’t think we know the answer yet. Maybe I’m naïve, but I just don’t think Spurrier would start a season opener with a quarterback whom he either has very little confidence in, or a quarterback who sucks. As we’ve said in this blog many times, Spurrier believed Garcia gave us the best chance to win based on something he saw early in the East Carolina game, and he stuck with it through Auburn. It’s obvious he no longer believes that.

With that said, the decision to start Shaw over Garcia against ECU was a bad one. Or at the very least, it was handled badly. I don’t know if Garcia’s feelings were hurt or confidence was shot when the decision was made to start Shaw. I don’t know if Shaw’s feelings were hurt or confidence was shot when he was pulled in favor of Garcia. But it sure is easy to come to that conclusion based on how Garcia has played and the fact that Shaw has not played a meaningful snap since.  

“Shaw is going to go the distance.” Sounds like the right thing to say, but I couldn’t help but think that Spurrier said the same thing about Garcia going into the Outback Bowl after Chris Smelley stunk it up against CTU. (You are welcome to virtually boo me for that.)

We haven’t seen the last of Stephen Garcia. I have mixed feelings about this. The two reasons Garcia would get to play again are a) Shaw is truly dreadful or b) Shaw gets hurt. I want neither for that young man. But at the same time, I desperately want Garcia to come in late against CTU, lead three touchdown drives, including one that ends in a brahma bull like run through CTU defenders to win the game with less than a minute to go. Then I want him to be the MVP of both the SEC Championship Game and our BCS game, after which he climbs on a white horse in the Superdome, and rides out a conquering hero. That’s the only way this CAN end, right?

And a couple of other notes…

Auburn is ruining Michael Dyer’s future NFL career by giving him too many carries. So many carries for that poor young man – 41! That’s four more than Marcus had against Navy!  When will the madness stop?!?

South Carolina is ruining Marcus Lattimore’s NFL career by giving him too many…NO WAIT…not enough carries. I think we can all agree 17 carries is not enough to showcase Marcus’ considerable talent, but 37 is WAY too many for his poor little body to handle. I’m going to start a petition that Marcus gets exactly 24 carries per game, portioned out accordingly over four quarters (six per quarter for you non-math majors.)  That should make EVERYBODY happy, right?

Go Cocks.

In the review of the Auburn game, Buck rambles, Gman is almost speechless, and Tbone joins us from a church picnic (seriously). All this and much more on TRC Unleashed – Episode 8!

What happens when our own need for entertainment outstrips our ability to make good decisions?  In a larger sense, when does conflict, whether it be reality television, athletic contests, or even warfare, reach a point where the execution of the conflict forever changes the participants (and the spectators)?

 The Hunger Games (Scholastic 2008) addresses this malleability in our fragile psyches.  The novel, written by Susan Collins for the young adult demographic, tells the story of Katniss Everdeen, an athletically gifted young woman from humble origins.  Through the operation of an oppressive societal tradition, Katniss is forced to participate in a Survivor-style national entertainment show, but with a deadly twist:  the competition is to the death, and only the winner survives.

 Katniss has a rare combination of good looks, charisma, and athletic ability, but her talents are raw and unfocused.  To address this weakness, she is tutored by Haymitch, an irascible past champion well on in years.  Haymitch bullies, cajoles, threatens, ridicules, and embarrasses Katniss, all in the hope of turning her into a champion herself.  While the novel is filled with exciting contests, victories, and tragedies throughout, it is this relationship between coach and student that underscores Collins’s thesis best:  In training Katniss in such a domineering and humiliating public manner, Haymitch damages Katniss in a way that cannot be reversed.

 By the novel’s end, the charismatic hero is reduced to a paranoid, conflicted shell of her former self.  Her former outgoing personality is reduced to an embittered and sullenly damaged ego.  The coach may have bent his pupil to his will, but in doing so, he destroyed the very essence that made the player outstanding.

 Regardless of your age, read The Hunger Games and learn from this cautionary tale of potential, promise, ambition, competition, and moral hazard. 

 Or just watch a South Carolina football game, and see the exact same thing.

As I sit and watch CTU dismantle VPI, making me even more bitter, here are some quick, barely researched, not fully formed thoughts from this afternoon’s abysmal 16-13 loss to Auburn:

It is finished. I am Buck, and my thoughts do not necessarily reflect those of the other members of TRC, but it is absolutely, positively time to bench Stephen Garcia. I was talked off the ledge last week, but after today I truly believe if we are going to meet ANY of our goals this season, it will not happen with #5 at the helm. I love the man, I love what he has done for our football program (the good stuff, that is), and I love the material he has given us for this blog.

But enough is enough. In this, the most important football season in our history, our offense has been, if I may quote the HBC, putrid. Even Alshon Jeffery in the post-game backed at least a tire of the bus over Garcia when he said (paraphrased), “we were open, I guess he didn’t have enough time or something.” I understand the OL hasn’t played very well. I also understand the play calling has been questionable at best. But the most high-profile, potentially high-impact change you can make is at the quarterback position, and at this point really shouldn’t be a difficult decision. Garcia has been awful, and there are no more acceptable excuses for sticking with him. Nobody is more sorry to say that than me.

HBC needs an OC. I know it will never happen, but I wish Steve Spurrier would completely relinquish the offense to someone. Every Saturday I watch offensive teams that are sharp, operate with a purpose and have some sort of an identity…and then I have to watch South Carolina. And I’ve watched it for seven years. Confusion. Penalties. Ill-timed timeouts. If we are going to fail offensively, I’d at least like to know what we are TRYING to be.

Speaking of ill-timed timeouts. Twelve seconds left, you just picked up a first down, and you call your final timeout – with the clock stopped. There’s no way to know what would’ve happened with ten seconds and one timeout versus the twelve second and no timeouts we wound up with, but it sure seemed like a stupid decision at the time. And actually, it seems like one now too. And don’t bitch about getting screwed by the refs. If we make a few plays earlier in the game we don’t have to worry about getting screwed in the first place.

“We’re not a very smart team.” I’m pretty damn tired of hearing that also.

Ingram for Heisman. Well, at least All-American. Losing to unranked teams at home on national television doesn’t do much for your Heisman campaign. Unfortunately, that pretty much dooms Marcus’ chances as well.

Byrd is the a word. Dameire Byrd touched it once that I recall on a reverse, and then was the intended target on a Garcia armpunt, but didn’t have quite the impact for which I was hoping. Bruce Ellington had one huge catch, but we’re still searching for another offensive option outside of #1 and #21.

All is not lost, but it sure feels like it at the moment. We still control our own destiny, but we’ve now lost our two-game edge over UGA, and absolutely need to take 2 out of 3 against MSU, UT and Arkansas. And not lose to Florida. And hope UGA loses another conference game.

Ah, hell, when does basketball baseball season start?

Its not Insider Information, but it sums up where we should be as fans better than anything I’ve read this week.  So to ‘scarolinaguy’ on GCC, we give a tip of the cap, and a promise for free beer upon future meeting:

[Garcia] has had some shaky times at USC but the guy knows how to win
football games. Garcia has taught us fans what winning the big games feels
like. We can talk about Petty, Ellis, Tanneyhill and them all but no other
quarterback has won the big games like Garcia nor will have won as many
games. He has beaten the teams that at one time we as fans just wanted to
be competitive with - some like a drum too. There is only one team that
we haven’t beaten yet in the SEC and that’s Auburn. . . . No other quart-
erback in our universities history has beaten the teams Garcia has beaten
and if there is one quarterback past or present that I would gamble with
on beating Auburn or any other team its Garcia. GO GET IT DONE! I AM
BEHIND YOU BROTHER!! ADD ANOTHER TEAM TO YOUR BEATEN LIST! I think we
need to show him some loyalty and back our quarterback. HE IS OUR BEST
CHANCE AT WINNING THE BIG GAMES! He is the only one who has showed us it
can be done at USC!

I live amongst these ill-bred orange-loving heathens and have, over the painful years, developed certain defense mechanisms for handling the unfortunate encounters with representatives of this particularly vile and delusional fan base.  Here, for your edification and instruction, is a sample of my most effective strategic approaches, along with the moniker I use for each as an aid to memory.  I recommend any and all of the following for your immediate and repeated use (or at least until CTU faceplants its season yet again):

The Newry Damn – You should act concerned, rub your chin and look forlorn.  Tell the CTU fan that you personally witnessed Coach Swinney yell vile profanities in public the other day, and you are concerned that his well-manicured image is all a sad and crumbling facade.  Feign concern for his wife and children.  Say this all happened in a BILO (this detail is REQUIRED and will severely deepen the horror for the fan) and in front of children who were distraught.  President Barker has called The AD, you understand . . .

The Spiller – So named as an homage to the patron saint of overhyped and unrealized potential, C.J. Spiller.  This method involves faux-concern on your part over the condition of the tender heel bone of Andre Ellington, and speculating on the latent defects in nonexistent MRI’s that caused the Seminoles to back off during the recruitment of Sammy Watkins.  Oh, and the punter keeps getting clobbered.

The Seneca Steamer – This strategy involves dumping on every opponent they have beaten thus far – which is usually a simple and effective method to thwart the fan’s ridiculous enthusiasm.  Be warned, however, that our Chickfila Bowl misadventure last winter, coupled with a sudden rash of Seminole injuries this fall,  have negatively impacted the efficacy of this approach. (Although you will notice that I turtled a back door Seneca Steamer in the middle of the last sentence.)

The T. Ed Garrison Arenal – Insist that all CTU cheerleaders are corpulent bovine swine, and that this fact is generally acknowledged by all.  Take the purportedly overwhelming physical evidence one step further and insist that the fleshy sweathogs are the results of bizarre crossbreeding experiments  conducted by the CTU School of Agriculture.  When excited, they secrete a milky substance from between their fingers, toes, and multiple skin folds – WHERE DO YOU THINK ALL THAT CLEMSON BLUE CHEESE COMES FROM, BUBBA????

The Calhoun Corners –  Insist that according to high ranked SEC sources, the ACC almost collapsed last week, and FSU, CU,  and GTech all still want out.  The SEC wouldn’t take any of them because of The Gentlemen’s Agreement (in effect, SC blackballed Clemson).  UConn, Syracuse, whatever, are all desperation moves, and show that the ACC is: #1 a basketball conference from here on out, and #2 now overrun by Yankees.  Either of these details will cause the CTU fan you are dealing with to gasp, swallow his dip, and begin ripping the hair out of his back in frustration.

The Tillman  – We all know that CTU fans are obsessed with the concept of a so-called “Chicken Curse.”  They will mention the purported curse at any possible opening.  Turn it back on them with the following pseudo-history, which they will be too dense to refute:  “You see, when Pitchfork Ben Tillman made the deal with the Devil that led to the Curse on Carolina, it provided that bad luck would follow the Gamecocks for one hundred years.  That time expired on October 31, 2009.  The devil is in the details so to speak, because what Pitchfork Ben didn’t know was that the Curse now rebounds on Clemson College for the NEXT one hundred years.   Enjoy 98 more years of persistent and heart-breaking beatdowns, Clemmer!”

The Howard’s Rock – When you first see (or smell) the CTU fan approaching, pull out a ten pound sledgehammer, swing it above your head and hit YOURSELF in the head as hard as you can muster.  Now this may result in an extended hospital and/or psychiatric ward stay but either is preferrable to the toothless/brainless/deoderant-less conversation you were about to experience.

The Danny Ford – Once a cheater alway a cheater.  Talk about the fact that CTU really never won the MNC, and that their most beloved coach of all time is widely regarded as one of the crookedest recruiters in NCAA history.  Also, and this is paramount to success for this method, mention towel bars, jet skis, and photos of recruits with cash over, and over, and over, and over.

The Mac’s Drive-In – At the earliest possible break in the conversation, claim you have a bathroom emergency and sprint away as fast as you can.  Understand that “bathroom emergency” is not a term that the CTU fan will recognize, so use a baser and more scatologically descriptive name for it, but you get the general idea.  Also recognize that the fan is himself probably wearing Depends undergarments (if you are LUCKY), so this method has its limitations.

The Daniel Lyin’ – Make up random facts, such as “Clemson has an all-time losing record against every BCS conference except the ACC,” “Chad Morris is the leading candidate for the New Mexico job and has family out there.” or “Kevin Steele was once a porn star who operated under the name ‘Tigh Cheeks.‘”  It doesn’t matter how outlandish the lie, because as we’ve mentioned above, the nutjob you are dealing with probably doesn’t have the noodle to recognize even the most basic of subterfuge.

I hope you find these strategies helpful.  This is, or course, not an exhaustive list, and your own additions are welcomed.

Tusings, or Tuesday Musings, was meant to be a weekly column where I speak of random randomness involving the Gamecocks. But, since I don’t get paid for this, and because the people who do pay me expect things of me that do not involve writing for obscure blogs…here are your two-day late Tusings!

I feel really good about this weekend’s game.  Which is odd, because I rarely feel good about any game.  I can’t tell you if it’s a good thing or a bad thing, because it’s so rare that I have these feelings about a USC game that I don’t really remember how they turn out.  Maybe it’s that I believe Stephen Garcia is going to get it into gear this week, which means Alshon will get it into gear this week. Maybe it’s because Auburn’s defense is SO bad statistically, and Marcus is so good statistically. Maybe it’s ecause I saw our defense beat up on Vandy like a JV squad. Maybe it’s because the HBC has been in a good mood this week. I don’t know, but if we get our butt beat on Saturday, please remind me to never have a good feeling about one of our games again.

The overrated 1. We love Saturday Down South, and if you haven’t been there, we’d recommend it.  It’s a football lover’s paradise. However, a curious article from “MrPalmetto” yesterday asked the question “Is South Carolina’s Alshon Jeffery Overrated?”, to which his answer was “yes”. (Tip:  if you’re going to write an article you know is going to be controversial, don’t tiptoe around on the title, just call it “South Carolina’s Alshon Jeffery is Overrated”. Take a stand, man.)

Anyhoo, Mr. P can certainly have his opinion, that’s cool.  But a lot of it involved things I don’t actively measure during a game like “he’s not very fast” or “he has problems with press coverage”. My response in the comments section of his article was this:

You can argue that he’s not elite, but the preponderance of the evidence suggests otherwise:

2009 46-763, 16.6 ypc, 6 TD (after only 5 catches in his first 5 games)
2010 88-1517, 17.2 ypc, 9 TD

(BTW, where do you get “one season, heck, six standout games” from? Is that your arbitrary statistical analysis? He had eight 100-yard receiving games last year. And does his freshman year not count?)

He didn’t put up those numbers because he’s slow or because he can’t get separation, I can tell you that. His 14 catches for 246 yards and 1 TD is certainly disappointing so far in 2011, but with the sub-par QB play and the fact he’s been bracketed by two and three players in every game are making it tough to put up numbers comparable to 2010. Teams have geared their defenses to stop him, and it’s worked.

Will he be a great pro? Heck, I don’t know any more than you. People considered better than AJ have flopped and people considered not as good have excelled in the NFL. But to write that he shouldn’t be considered among the elite COLLEGE wide receivers is just silly.

I don’t watch film and break down plays, so I can’t speak to what kind of route runner Alshon is or how well he gets off of press coverage. But I saw this. And this. And this.

That’s just scratching the surface.  And to me, that’s elite.

Bulletin board. Speaking of Alshon not getting off press coverage (gasp! maybe MrPalmetto is right!), apparently Auburn CB Ryan White thinks that’s true: “From what I’ve seen, he can’t get off press. So that’s what we’re coming in with.” Considering the War Tigers’ abysmal defensive statistics, they better come with a heckuva lot more than that.

Bulletin board II. Ryan White again: “If we shut those two down – Alshon and Marcus – we’re going to come out with the W.” Oh, no, we’ve been found out!!!

Dangerous Tigers. In all seriousness, I hope Coach Johnson has as good a plan this week as he had last week. Auburn’s offensive line is bad, but if they can create time and space for the likes of Dyer, McCalebb and Blake, we could have a shootout on our hands.  Also, Coach Butler, please kick the ball out-of-bounds on kickoffs. The one thing I do not want to see is Tre Mason finding a crease.

Ire of the Tiger. Auburn is the only SEC football team we have not beaten since joining the conference in 1992 (0-6). Our only victory against them was in 1933. And no, I wasn’t around to see it. 

It’s all about football. I used to be as big a Braves fan as any team in any sport. I lived and died with the Bravos throughout the 80’s, 90’s and early 2000’s. Unfortunately, years and years of “almosts” have finally worn me down. I paid only casual attention to their September swoon this year, and watched with mild interest last night as they completed a historic collapse. I was actually asleep during the last four innings.

Folks, I’m officially a football man.

Go Cocks!

In case you haven’t heard, the Gamecocks will be rocking an alternate uniform for the Auburn game.  The unis are being worn  in support of the Wounded Warrior Project, an important charity if ever there was one, and are completely badass:

Yes, I agree:  Auburn will take one look and run back into the locker room.  /bows head, /offers silent, earnest prayer

Regardless, our nonexistent sources within the football program tell us that other, more esoteric, uniform options were considered before UA and the AD settled on the Wounded Warriors.  As a benefit to you, our loyal readers, we share ten of the other potential Gamecock Unis, with pros and cons for each:

Option 1:

 PRO:  Marked Tactical Advantage

CON:  Shoulder cannon also serves as tackling handle.

PRO:  Doubles down on the “warrior” motif.

CON:  Awkward Stan Lee Cameo

PRO:  Alternate Energy Source (AES)

CON: AES might be an impermissible benefit

PRO:  Would add a physical element to Jay Wooten’s game

CON: Post-game shower confusion:  This is exactly  what Jadeveon Clowney looks like naked.

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Option 2:

CON: Basically a clown suit.

PRO: There is no Pro.

CON: Looks like Halloween got sick and vomited on a high school player

PRO: THERE IS NO PRO!

CON: Only effective if you play in the weakest division in the weakest BCS conference

PRO: /head explodes

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Option 3:

PRO: Sponsorship dollars from Target could help offset old luxury hotel room bills.

CON: Not the exact shade of Garnet we wear, I know.

PRO: Might (I said MIGHT) improve quarterback efficiency (we are willing to try anything at this point).

CON: Also gives would-be tacklers something to aim at.

PRO:  Would annoy our Mercantile Overlords at Walmart

CON:  We all work for the Mercantile Overlords at Walmart now, or at least need fishing tackle.

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Option 4:

PRO: Tap increases speed and damage.

CON: Further aggravates ongoing feud with ugly CTU Pigs (OK, cheerleaders).

PRO: Comes in green, red, black, and white – all with unique abilities built in.

CON: Indistinguishable for Oregon uniform combo 6b.

PRO: Fists included

CON: Two faces – IT HAS TWO FACES YYIIKKKEESSSSAHHHHHH!!!

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Option 5:

PRO and CON:

I JUST POSTED A PICTURE OF KATE WINSLET AND YOU ARE STILL THINKING ABOUT FOOTBALL UNIFORMS????

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Option 6:

 Did you say unee-form?

[This is intended as a palette cleanser after the Winslet pic]

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Option 7:

 PRO: Endorsed by both the Vatican and the Crash Test Dummy Association (this is a comment on DESIGN, not on religion, geeze)

CON: No reasonable individual would wear or suggest that someone else wear this monstrosity – WHAT? someone did and a bunch of other people went along with it????

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Option 8:

 PRO: Low uni number, looks fast, looks strong

CON: For some reason, no one is allowed to wear this one.

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Option 9:

 PRO:  Generates pre-game buzz.

CON:  On the field performance quickly quiets said buzz.

PRO:  Reminds us all of the lesser known Arena League warriors that toil away in obscurity.

CON: Made Boise State nationally legitimate.

PRO: Tradition, Schmaschition

CON: FAKE PUNT FAKE PUNT FAKE PUNT FAKE FAKE FAKE!  AHHH DAMN IT! /Hairy Dawg covers head

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Option 10:

CON:  May get tangled during Buck Sweep exchange.

PRO:  Makes you completely unfathomable to Florida’s Coach Boom.

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In the end, I think the AD made a good choice.

TRC Unleashed reviewed the quarterback situation, and came to some surprising conclusions about the future of Stephen Garcia. Also discussed:

• Has the HBC lost his marbles?
• Is Melvin Ingram Batman? Is Jadeveon Clowney Robin?
• CC Whitlock gets an award!
• Tbone expresses his utter disdain for Auburn

Click HERE to listen.