The Complete Idiots Guide to 2011 SEC Football Media Days (Day Two)

You become vaguely aware of your own consciousness.
Stirring, you feel the cold of a concrete floor and hear the drum-drum-drumming
of a nearby commercial air-conditioner.  Standing, you realize you are in the
bowels of a large building.  A sign on the wall says "Wynfrey - Mechanical."
As you walk out into a bright lobby you remember: you were at SEC Media Days
yesterday and you overdosed bigtime on collegiate football excellence. You shake
your cobwebbed head, and then hear the strains of hotel lobby musick. It's The 
Carpenters, and Karen is singing to you alone, "Its only just begun . . . "
  • – Day 2 of Media Days starts off with an unfortunate snore, as Mark Richt takes to the podium bright and early at 8:30 am.  This morning time slot is no accident, as the SEC front office types have years of hard-learned lessons re: scheduling Coach Richt after lunch.
  • – After the media in attendance recover from Richt’s coma-talk we will all be honored to hear from the SEC’s 10th-ranked returning quarterback, Kentucky’s  Morgan Newton.  In what is obviously a harbinger of things to come on Saturday, November 19th, Mr. Newton is sandwiched between two Georgia Bulldogs in the speaking order.
  • – Speaking of Georgia, Super Soph (soft?) QB Aaron Murray is next up, and in what promises to be an early indicator of the 2011 season, we find out if the Bulldog signal caller can even walk or speak now that he is without A.J. Green and Kris Durham propping him up.
  • – UK Linebacker Danny Trevathan is the next speaker of interest.  RANDOM SEC STAT FACT: Trevathan led the SEC in tackles last year.  ANOTHER RANDOM SEC STAT FACT: No other Wildcat recorded a tackle.
  • – UK Head Coach Joker Phillips is up immediately after his defensive star, but he will be forced to answer awkward questions from the Lexington media about the progress of the basketball team’s offseason workouts. NO ONE INFO WILL BE REQUESTED OR PROVIDED.
  • Georgia Tennessee coach Derek Dooley will then field questions about last year’s LSU  and UNC debacles.  He may or may not work strange World War II references into his spiel, and while these anecdotes won’t be relevant, we do have to admit it is kind of endearing the way he earnestly commits to them.
  • – Georgia’s Brandon Boykin follows Coach Dooley, but he is still so grumpy and tired from chasing Alshon Jeffrey last fall that he may not take any questions.
  • – Gene Chizik will then speak and introduce three of the numerous players he acquired in the offseason.  DO NOT QUESTION HIM FURTHER. Reason?  Witness THIS.
  • – UT’s Tauren Poole bats clean up on the day, that is unless Bryce Brown suddenly reappears.

And Gentle Reader, Day 3 still awaits!