A Porcus Miscellany

You know, sometimes I don’t get you people. I don’t think you appreciate what we are doing for you here, you spoiled readers of TRC. All along, even before the season began, we’ve been telling you that the Arkansas game was the most important game of the year doesn’t matter at all. You should be thanking your lucky stars to have such in-depth and consistent analysis at your fingertips.

We even predicted the Chris Culliver injury for crying out loud (not that we’re proud of that one). Its gonna seem strange to watch a kickoff return defensive breakdown without Cully back there. Mad love to you, #15 #17, get better and go get paid next year. 

Speaking of the secondary, we here at TRC would like to propose the following to our Secondary Coach, Defensive Coordinator, Pass Defense Coordinator, Lorenzo Ward:  Auguste at one Corner position, Gilmore at the other, with Whitlock as backup.  For the safeties/spurs, a volleyball rotation of Swearinger, Holloman, Jeffrey, and Antonio Allen – one out, three in, when there is a bust, sit a guy and everybody moves over one.  Makes sense?

Oh, and speaking of Spurs – you ever see that movie Vanilla Sky?  You know, that one where Tom Cruise plays Tom Cruise playing a millionaire who has problems understanding reality?  Yeah, that one.  Anyway, perfect analogy for our kickoff returns under Coach Beamer.     We don’t know if Coach Beamer is the Penelope Cruz character (odd, quirky, compelling, redeeming) or the one played by Cameron Diaz (looks great on paper but snakes in the head).  Either way our 17 yards per return average makes ME want to jump off that skyscraper at the end of the flick.  By now its pretty clear that pounding a 5’5″ guy up the gut each time is not the answer.  Open your eyes, Coach B, open your eyes.

While I’m complaining, news broke yesterday that we coulda had Cam Newton for a mere $200,000.00.  Am I alone in asking how the YES plan money is being used?

UPDATE: LSUFreak made my friday-funk all better with the following:

Nice touch with the Macbook