As we enter the midpoint of fall camp, here are some storylines you may have missed:
– PJB Champ UConn indefinitely suspended a bunch of guys they really, really needed, but still weren’t good enough to play in the SEC. The remainder of the Huskies are all 4-feet tall, enjoy crochet and afternoon tea, but would still pound the stuffing out of the Gamecocks. Apparently it’s like rock/paper/scissors: the paper looks weak and outmatched, but it always tops the rock.
– Bubba Drago will definitely play in the opener per the HBC. No word on whether he will play quarterback, or will serve as the entire defensive line by himself.
– Coach said all spring that some of the freshmen O-linemen would play, but I thought he was just being cute. Now, after one upperclassman blew out his knee, two betrayed a lack of conditioning necessary to complete practice, and eight others succumbed to the bubonic plague, it appears Spurrier was a prophet. Oh, and one of our twelve walk-on long-snappers is now the 3rd string center.
– Sometime back the UNC Tar Heels looked away from their agent booty long enough to scuttle a scheduled game with the Gamecocks. They signed up instead for a home and home with the Mighty Volunteers. Now that UT is apparently scared of anything other than Smokey’s shadow, the planned series is in limbo. Could it be that Wesley Saunders and Marvin Austin flew down to Miami to try to work this all out? Sounds plausible to me. Of course, at one point I believed Brad Scott was a genius.
– Coach Spurrier says we are pretty decent woefully bad ok nothing to brag about this year. He says the quarterbacks are much improved disgusting exciting stupid a work in progress and the Oline looks stronger weaker committed to excellence average. Hello Everyyear, nice to see you again.
– Mustard Buzzard head screw Larry Fedora is skipping the walkback and is opting instead for a full-blown reverse sprint. A timeline to illustrate:
July 15th: “[C]ollege football fan in this entire country will be watching us – watching the Golden Eagles beating South Carolina,”
August 7th: “[O]ur guys are excited to be able to go out and compete against South Carolina.”
August 15th: “We understand South Carolina’s probably got one of the best teams they’ve had in years. We understand what Coach Spurrier and his staff are capable of doing.”