A Monday morning look back at the Gamecock weekend that was:

– Steve Spurrier will never, ever, no, not ever be an Athletics Director.    Good thing is, he has zero desire for that kind of job.  Need convincing?  Just listen to his latest presser from Media Day yesterday, and note how much he cares about finances.  I’ll give you a hint, its less than he cares about defense.  I think his quote was “don’t they just put all that cash in a big wad?”

– Marcus Lattimore and the Book of Job.  Again, watching video from yesterday’s Media Day and noted Marcus waxing personal about why God was testing him (and his ACL) in Starkville last fall.  Hate to go all Presbyterian on you here, but I think he’s got it wrong.

Augustine said it best, and I will paraphrase it poorly: God may well test us, but only to reveal to us how much grace we already have, not to prove anything to Him.

Or, maybe Latti was referring to visiting Starkville in the first place as being a test from God. In which case, point taken.

– Rico McWilliams – Feel horrible for this kid, and we died just a little when Lattimore said, in the above-referenced video, that he was dedicating each hit he took this season to the injured freshman.  Keep your head up, Rico – we are pulling for you to have a big 2013.

– DeDe Smith is a star in the making.  We here at TRC are really pulling for this guy, who is apparently now one of our starters at wideout.  Of course, so were Jason Barnes and Taqiy Muhammed at some point in their careers, says that nagging voice that’s been worrying me about the Gamecocks for over thirty years.

– ‘Punish.’  Reports have it that the 2012 Gamecock has adopted the word ‘punish’ as their slogan.  Couple of points here:  First, its wwaaaayyyy better and less prone to double entendre than “All In.”  Second, it certainly scares the crap outta me, and I’m not likely to be running a crossing route over the middle anytime soon.

– ‘Beastboard’ update.  It might, or might not, have been Eric Nichols of the Gamecock Front Office that coined the phrase (at least he’s using it on his twitter feed).  Regardless, we LOVE it as the unofficial moniker of the hulking behemoth that is now being constructed in the North end zone of the ‘Brice.

But one thing on the Beastboard, and someone pass this on to Mr. Nichols:  If, prior to the ECU game, we miss the gargantuanly dramatic opportunity to run the old school ‘2001’ opening video circa 1980 in the exact size and location of the old video board, and then immediately wham-splash a new updated video all over the Beast for the actual 2001 entrance, then we’re just killing puppies and kittens and wasting time.

See to it, Eric.

Latti’s Back:

Gamecock Senior Safety, D.J. Swearinger:

“South Carolina will open fall camp on Aug. 3.

The first practice, which is open to the public (although I do not recommend bringing small children), will begin at 7:30 p.m. at the Bluff Road practice fields. The first week of practices will remain open to the public (again, its not the safest place to bring the young and/or the infirm). Players will not be available for autographs before, during or after the practice sessions (I don’t come to your place of Grinding and bug you for autographs, do I?). In addition, pets are not permitted on the practice fields (violating animals will be consumed immediately).  All fans attending the practice sessions must stay behind the yellow rope (for your own mental and physical safety).  Cameras (still and video) are allowed for the first 15 minutes of practice only (violating cameras will also be consumed immediately).

Fan Appreciation Day is set for Aug. 12 at Colonial Life Arena, beginning at 12:30 p.m. (this is when you bring Junior and Grandma).

PRACTICE SCHEDULE (NOTE: Dates/times subject to change):

Aug. 3 – 7:30 p.m. – Introducing the new players to Grinding

Aug. 4 – 7:30 p.m. – Grinding

Aug. 5 – 7:30 p.m. – Grinding

Aug. 6 – 9:30 a.m. – Grinding

Aug. 7 — 8:30 a.m. – Grinding

Aug. 8 — 8:30 a.m. – Grinding

Aug. 9 — 8:30 a.m. and 7:30 p.m. – Grinding and some more Grinding

Aug. 10 – 9:30 a.m. – Grinding

Aug. 11 – 3:45 p.m. – Grinding

Aug. 12  – 7:30 p.m. – Grinding (may do some remedial work on 46 Bandit concepts as well)

Aug. 13 –  9:30 a.m. – Grinding

Aug. 14 – 8:30 a.m. – Grinding

Aug. 15  – 8:30 a.m. and 7:30 p.m.- Grinding and some more Grinding

Aug. 16 –  9:30 a.m. – Grinding

Aug. 17 – 8:30 a.m. – Grinding

Aug. 18 – 8:30 a.m. – Grinding

Aug. 19 – 7:30 p.m. – Not as much Grinding as the day before, and not as much Grinding as the day after, but still significant Grinding

Aug. 20 – 7:30 p.m. – Grinding

Aug. 21 – 9:30 a.m. – Grinding

Aug. 22 – 8:30 a.m. and 7:30 p.m. – Grinding and some more Grinding

Aug. 23  – Fall semester begins – Different kind of Grinding, but still Grinding

You’ve heard the rumors. So have we. So has everyone.

Vic Hampton is trouble waiting to happen.

Whether it is his intimidating visage, or his street-cred demeanor, this redshirt sophomore from Darlington has developed something of a bad reputation.

We here at TRC do not deal in unsubstantiated innuendo and baseless rumor mongering, so we decided to put our veteran investigative unit on the trail of the erstwhile boundary corner. Below are the results of our investigation, including photographic evidence. A word of warning, as much of the information that follows is disturbing, and is not intended for those with tender sensibilities.

First, we looked into Mr. Hampton’s class attendance. We were able to capture this photo, establishing that he is, indeed, regularly attending class at USC:

Now, a troubling warning sign from this part of our investigation: Mr. Hampton was on his way to Literature 312: The Romantic Poets. We all know where that sort of thing can lead.

He also is accustom to playing with his cellphone in class, and is unable to properly navigate the landscape/portrait settings:

Sadly, the subject of this twisted photo is another member of the Gamecock football squad, Cadarious Sanders. We all know the old adage about one rotten apple, don’t we?

Next we looked at Mr. Hampton’s activities in school outside of the classroom environment. We discovered the following:

Apparently Mr. Hampton prefers chugging Redbull and texting girls to working out in the weightroom with his teammates. I know, we were saddened to learn this as well. What other young person do you know that would give in to such temptations?

What of his family? Witness the following:

I’m sure you recognize this seemingly loving and attractive American family for what it really is: a secret crime syndicate. Notice how stealthy and shifty the guy in the back row looks (no not HIM, that’s Vic, I’m referring to the one to his left). And we have it on good authority that the female to Hampton’s right has unpaid parking tickets. Well, one anyway. For her bicycle. And what is the man in the white shirt smiling about? His upcoming crime spree, no doubt.

And to top it all off, you have the Godfather in the lower center, surrounded by his close band of thieves. How ominous.

Hobbies? Check this out:

No, those aren’t multiple bingo cards that Victor is playing (and apparently winning, with a straight left-to-right bingo on the second row of the top card). No, instead this is the latest development in parimutuel betting: bingo-disquised parley cards. What he is actually celebrating is his wise removal of the marker from the 70 box on the “O” line of the middle card. For the uninitiated, the “O” line is for the Orange Bowl, and 70 was Hampton’s bet on the number of points one of the participants would surrender. Seasoned gambler, obviously.

Known associates? How about this sickening revelation:

Now you may think that this innocent looking grandmother is harmless. You might also think she is holding a garnet pom-pom. Wrong on both counts. This is actually a well-known trafficker in illegal human organs, and that is a human liver she is so flippantly shaking.

Somewhere, as you read this, someone is suddenly waking up in a bathtub of ice. On their chest is a prepaid cellphone and a note. The note reads, “I have removed your liver. You need immediate medical attention or you will die. Call 911. Love, Meemaw.”

OK, so this has gone beyond ridiculous as of about 8 p.m. last night, when I read about CTU’s latest commitment, Scott Pagano.  As Gamecock fans, we’ve all asked the question, thought this very thing, admit it:

How do they do it?  How does a slightly above average football program (note: in relation to their conference, which is well below average) that is so known for its epic face plants that “pulling a Clemson” has become part of our lexicon, continue to get commitments from top notch high school football players?

The article I linked about Pagano’s commitment really doesn’t clear things up at all.  As a matter of fact, it makes things murkier than ever.  It’s a bizarre interview that would fit just as well on the pages of The Onion as it does on Korny and Kmac’s Sportstalk page.

Let’s review some of Pagano’s comments, shall we?

“It’s just perfect there” (referring to Clemson)

Look, upstate South Carolina is no trash dump.  It’s quite lovely in areas as a matter of fact.  BUT THIS DUDE IS FROM HAWAII.  WHAT…THE…F?!?  Are you serious?  Was he hanging out with Sammy in the Cadillac before this visit?  The guy from Hawaii just called Clemson “perfect”.  In any context that is just wrong, and should raise suspicions of drug use and/or large bills stuffed in plain paper bags.

“Coach (Dabo) Swinney is just like my high school coach.” 

OK, fair point.  One for the kid.

“He’s religious and he believes in team unity.”

Not sure why these two are intertwined, but the “religion” point is a common theme you hear out of recruits who visit CTU.  That Dabo must be a real saint.  As far as believing in team unity, this is undoubtedly in stark contrast to the other coaches at schools he visited that are hell bent on team division.  This must really set CTU apart.

“I’ve never seen anyone just read The Bible for fun.”

My first thought, as a Christian, was “boy, there’s a ringing endorsement for Christianity.”  But then I thought about how that came up.  Did Dabo challenge him to a sword drill?  “C’mon Scotty! 1 Peter 3:12 on the count of three!  One, two, THREE!  Ha ha, got you my man!  You come to Clemson and we’ll have you finding the minor prophets in under three seconds!”

“It’s where I want to be.”

Again, he’s from HAWAII.  Let’s see, Hawaii, Lake Hartwell, Hawaii, Lake Hartwell, Hawaii, Lake Hartwell…I’ll take Lake Hartwell because I’m DUMB AS A BAG OF BALL PEEN HAMMERS.

“They are a top ten school academically.”

Wha…I…what?  Top 10 in…the ACC?  The state of South Carolina?  Are the Clemson folks just flat out lying to recruits?

“I”m all-in for Clemson”

Ah, geez, it’s brainwashing.  No question about it.  They’ve got some Tony Robbins-type dude who instead of convincing them to walk on hot coals convinces them to commit to CTU.

Or maybe, just maybe, there is a large armoire somewhere on campus that takes you to Narnia.

Yeah, that has to be it.

Clemson “commitment” Robert Nkemdiche sporting an Ole Miss jersey on his trip to Oxford this weekend.  Says he’s still solid to Clemson.  You think somebody likes a little attention?

Three very busy summers have kept us away from the broadcast booth, but team TRC returns tonight to bring everyone up to speed on what you should be thinking about:

• Our old AD
• Our new AD
• SEC Media Days
• acc media days
• This Week in Dabo
• Recruiting

We’ll be live at 6:30 p.m., and then archived forever.  But don’t wait!  It’ll be a real good time.  Please join us.