Greetings. I am Uatu, The Watcher. I was assigned to your world by my Brotherhood to observe and record your development as a species. From my abode on the dark side of your earth’s moon, I watch, I catalog, and I report. While your advancement is impressive in many realms, you fail to grasp the basic nature of your own reality. You do not even realize that other realities exist alongside your own.

I, The Watcher, see all of these realities.

Allow me to demonstrate. I will select one of your average younglings and thereby demonstrate this coexistence of space-time alternatives:

Behold one Stephen Gary Garcia, a young man in the beginning of his adulthood. In your space-time, young Stephen is the erstwhile field general for one of your educational sporting teams.

But in other space-times, a younger Stephen decided to lead other groups. Behold these alternate – and equally valid – realities, which I select at random:

Earth Reality #30453: Stephen Garcia is the rising redshirt senior quarterback for the Gators of Florida. His head coach, one Urban Meyer, just signed a ten year extension to his contract. Garcia starts a fashion rage in Gainesville by foregoing the ubiquitous blue jean shorts of his contemporaries and instead dons [gasp] khaki shorts. Meanwhile Gamecock quarterback John Brantley constantly evokes his head coach’s ire by “not getting the ball out of his hands quick enough.”

Earth Reality #46921: Stephen Garcia is the returning starter for the Clemson Tiger University.  Head Coach Dabo (yes, in that reality a grown man can apparently be called “Dabo” as well) Swinney anoints Garcia as the next Joe Montana, and describes Stephen’s leadership, charity, and GPA in effusive – albeit simple – words (Side note, CTU still went 6-7 last year. That happened in every recorded reality save one, Reality #23452, where Georgia Tech runs a modern offense, and Dabo finished 5-7).  (Additional side note, upon exhausting his football eligibility, Garcia is immediately arrested for fifty unpaid parking tickets, three open container violations, two barroom brawls, and one high speed pass over a former coach’s daughter. When asked for a comment, Dabo answers with a perplexed “WHO?”, throws down a cherry bomb, and flees behind a mirrored screen).

Earth Reality #60471: Stephen Garcia is playing for the Cardinals of the University of Louisville. No one cares.

Earth Reality #21091: Stephen Garcia has graduated from the University of Georgia with a degree in Eastern Philosophy. He performs weekly in Athens bars as a beat poet.  He gave up football after his junior year because, as he put it, “those guys are a bunch of thugs.”

Earth Reality #10023: Stephen Garcia quits football after graduation and becomes a motivational speaker. He specializes in calling out individual members of the audience and comparing them unfavorably to the saintly-est of their coworkers. Says he learned the tactic “directly from an NCAA sanctioned program I once attended.”

Earth Reality #41204: As a rising sophomore at Tennessee, Stephen Garcia is expelled for urinating on Head Coach Lane Kiffin. His defense is that, having knocked the coach out with one backhanded slap, the laws of manhood dictate that he mark his kill. Tennessee refuses to reinstate him, but for perpetration of the deed he is awarded the Heisman, the Nobel, and the Congressional Medal of Honor by unanimous public acclimation. (Side note, David Reaves cried during the attack and the award ceremonies.  And later in bed. Again).

Earth Reality #16403: The State newspaper went bankrupt in 2007 trying to keep Joe Person supplied with hair gel. With no local newsprint gadflies, Stephen Garcia graduated on time with absolutely no disciplinary history.

Earth Reality #29981: Stephen Garcia was in the room when Auburn gave Cecil Newton a large and apparently heavy canvas sack embroidered with dollars signs. It might surprise you, Earthlings, to learn that almost all possible realities involve Auburn giving Cecil Newton some form of cash or gold. And much to The Watcher’s surprise, none of these realities result in even the slightest of penalties from the NCAA.

Earth Reality #39971: Stephen Garcia quit football after the 2008 Outback Bowl. He moved to Dallas, TX and works in construction management with his brother. After work he occasionally like to toss back a couple of frosty ones with his buddies. JUST LIKE ALL OF THE REST OF YOU.

Lo and Behold, Earthlings!� This small sample should show you the intricacies of the space-time continuum, and underscore the power and vision of The Watcher.

Oh, and before I return to my lunar abode, I leave you with one last word of wisdom, gleaned from my infinite observations:

#FREEGARCIA !!!!!

Every four years we hear the same refrain in politics: The public may like this candidate or that one, but in the end, Americans will vote for the candidate that they most want to drink a beer with.  Americans like leaders who are approachable, maybe a little bit messy, not too put together, even about to surprise (scare?) us. We like our leaders to be about this [] much unpredictable.

This preference pretty much applies across the board, and not just with politicians. Let me demonstrate: Name your favorite Star Wars character. You said ‘Darth Vader’ right? Or maybe you said ‘Han Solo’, but I guarantee you didn’t even think of Luke Skywalker. Why? Because Luke Skywalker is boring. Now, think of Gone with the Wind, and I’ll ask the same question. Rhett Butler right? Or maybe Scarlett O’hara, but definitely not Ashley or Melanie Wilkes. The Wilkes were kind, gentle . . .and lame. You see, we do like our heroes with a little bit of the Dark Side in them.

We like Mr. Hyde, not so much Dr. Jekyl.  Bruce Banner can be as cool and smart as all hell, but its the Verdant Colossus we’re dying to see. Sure we appreciated Liberaci, but we adored Jerry Lee.  We might respect Hillary (I said might, Buck), but Bill is the rock star.

Now to make it more relevant to the sporting world, which 70’s era quarterback is still making money in the business, upright Roger Staubach, or half-crazy common man Terry Bradshaw?

You get the idea.  Its a classic Apollonian/Dionysian dichotomy. � Or, to put it another way, we want a leader that we can identify with on the most base of basic levels. Someone as twisted as we secretly recognize ourselves to be. We want a quarterback – to pick an example entirely at random – with a problem or two. Americans, I believe, want a quarterback they can drink a beer with.

Enter Stephen Achilles Garcia.

Before we get deeper in the analysis here, let me acknowledge a few things that are obvious about the Gamecocks’ erstwhile quarterback. The first thing is, of course, the hair. Its almost a mullet, in much the same way that Lake Murray can look like an ocean, but really isn’t. See, Stephen wouldn’t wear something as passe as a mullet, even if ironically. Irony is not Stephen’s rhetorical device of choice. No, instead Stephen opts for deep heartfelt stares as his mode of persuasion. And mullet or no, when he pinches his dark tresses back behind his ears, your ladyfriend sniffs the air gently and her love for you dies just a little bit. The hair might be cut tight now, but trust me, like Samson of old, Garcia knows wherein his power lies.  The hair will return.

Then there’s Stephen’s grooming habits. I hate shaving, don’t you?  Sure you do,but neither of us hate it as much as Garcia.  Needed twice a day, his facial swatch only gets a perfunctory swipe twice a football season. Oh, and don’t be thrown by the golf-shirt-and-eyeblack look in the post-game press conference. He did, in fact,take a post-game shower and change clothes, he just reapplied the eyeblack before the presser to remind everyone that he’s a warrior.

Then there are the statistics. He never leads in any category EVER. But he’s close man, he’s freakin’ close. And if you weren’t such an uptight, Apollonian nerdwad, you would appreciate the everyman poetry of his not-as-of-yet statistical consummation.

Yeah, the middle name throws you. And yeah, he’s got some crazy Greek word tattoed on his inner arm, but we all understand that the name and the tat are babe candy at, respectively, Athens coffee shops and Gainesville biker bars.  What kind of crazy crap have you done in the past to score some lovin’?  See, ol’ Achilles is right there with you.

Now some may say that Garcia comes with baggage. Some might point to his history with the team and say its time for Carolina to move on. Some may also point out that he has failed to demonstrate leadership and has let the HBC down.

To all of those naysayers I respond with a barbaric ‘Phfffttt!’ Garcia’s baggage includes a couple of too public beers, and couple of too public women, and one juvenile prank. Not exactly on par with Auburn openly paying for players, or Georgia having half their scholarship athletes arrested for felonies last summer. And time to move on? From what, the first quarterback to lead us to a conference trophy in my lifetime? HBC let down?  Heck, he’s been let down by every quarterback he’s ever known short of the one who’s initials are S.O.S.

I’m rambling around to arrive at a point, and the point is this: We love you, Stephen, and we want you back.  Not in August, or in a month, but yesterday. We want you back yesterday because we want to believe that someone just like us can succeed. You are just like us; just as flawed, just as promising. But it’s not as good of a story-not as American of a story- if you make your comeback at Louisville or  Marshall or some other God-awful place.  Stick it out here, make the comeback of all comebacks here, and I’ll join the throngs celebrating you as the greatest quarterback in Carolina history.

Heck, I’ll even buy you a beer.

If you’ve been reading TRC for a while, you’ll know that its primary authors don’t care so much for Cam Newton.  And that’s only partly because he almost single-handedly beat South Carolina once and obliterated South Carolina once during the 2010 season.  The real reason is we think he’s a big, fat, cheating phony.  (But we’ll not resort to childish name calling here, it’s beneath us.)

Apparently some guy named Nolan Nawrocki with some publication called Pro Football Weekly Draft Preview feels the same way we do.  He goes over Newton’s football-related shortcomings (yawn) like the fact he’s only played at a high level for one year, his vision is not great, his accuracy and timing need work, etc. 

But then Mr. Nawrocki gets personal when talking about Newton:

“Very disingenuous — has a fake smile, comes off as very scripted and has a selfish, me-first makeup.”

You don’t say.

“Always knows where the cameras are and plays to them.”

Check.

“Has an enormous ego with a sense of entitlement that continually invites trouble and makes him believe he is above the law.”

Go on.

“Does not command respect from teammates and will always struggle to win a locker room.”

Uh-huh.

“Lacks accountability, focus and trustworthiness — is not punctual, seeks shortcuts and sets a bad example. Immature and has had issues with authority. Not dependable.”

Interesting.

I have no idea what Mr. Nawrocki’s credentials are or where he gets his information, but that is some harsh stuff.  Harsh, and not one bit surprising. 

Other Tuesday musings:

• The worst week of Darrin Horn’s professional career is now behind him, and it appears he will be the coach of the Gamecocks in 2011-2012.  As a matter of fact, there has been a slight, surprising groundswell of support for him (and I’m not just referring to Ron Morris, who attempts to swim upstream against pretty much any Gamecock opinion).  But to those of you using the “Coach K didn’t win his first few years at Duke” argument in support of Horn, please stop, you’re embarrassing yourself.
• Besides the Spurrier “arrest” last week, has this been the quietest spring practice of all time?  Maybe it’s because every piece of “insider” information these days requires a paid subscription.  Not that I’m complaining, hopefully someday you’ll be subscribing to our blog (crickets).  Speaking of spring practice…
• It’s good to hear Eric Baker is contributing out of the backfield this spring.  Dude has had a rough go of it since arriving at Carolina, and I think he has a chance to do some good things for us this coming year.
• Best newcomer this spring?  With all due respect to Kelcy Quarles, who gets some props here, it seems like I’m hearing the name Martay Mattox after every practice.  Hopefully he’ll turn out to be another one of those local guys Georgia regrets passing on (see: Dunta Robinson).
• Switching gears to basketball, what a great, fun NCAA tournament.  One of the best I can remember.  But to the teams still complaining about not getting in, my message to you is this – don’t lose to crappy teams.  If you don’t, you won’t have to compete with other schools that lost to crappy teams for the final spot(s) in the field.
• And to baseball – great, great series win over Florida this weekend.  I still have my doubts talent-wise about this team, but no team in the country is tougher or knows how to win close games like these Gamecocks.  I’ll take them every time.
• I would like to close with some sort of movie, music or other cultural reference, but my life has been consumed with remodeling a bathroom.  My advice if you’re thinking about doing the same – pay somebody.  Pay them whatever they ask. 

You may have seen this video from practice yesterday. It’s recommended viewing, if for no other reason that to point out that the HBC is either A. Brilliant, B. The Man You’re Wife Wishes You Were, C. Bat-crap Crazytime Insane, or D. All of the above. (Note:this thing-that-really-happened is also probably relevant in the analysis)

Regardless, what we have here is an ersatz demonstration of what legal-types call a “Terry Frisk.” A Terry Frisk, so named because of the Supreme Court case, Terry v. Ohio 392 U.S. 1 (1968), which allows peace officers to stop and briefly detain an individual if the officer has a reasonable suspicion that the person recently has, or currently is, committing a crime. If the officer has a reasonable suspicion that the targeted individual might be carrying a weapon, then the stop can include a brief pat down search of the person in order to eliminate that possibility.

Where the HBC faux-detention (and the Jadeveon Clowney cuffing it was based on) deviates from this common practice is with the unnecessary handcuffing. Terry does NOT stand for the proposition that an officer can handcuff you just for questioning. Handcuffing is more than a brief stop for questioning, and is more in the nature of an outright arrest.  Now if the surrounding circumstances warrant the cuffing, then this deprivation of personal liberty can be justified, but not when a single individual is surrounded by several officers, relatively docile, and completely cooperative.  A handcuffing in that innocuous circumstance is excessive and not within the conduct allowed under Terry and its progeny.

You still with me?

What I aiming at is that the Columbia Police Department improperly handcuffed Clowney and Dixon. That they did so in a public place betrayed that they either don’t understand or don’t care about the constitutional limits on their powers to detain individual citizens.  I suspect the CPD enjoys having the spotlight when Gamecock athletes are involved in relatively minor brushes with the law.  I also suspect that the CPD officers in this case knew exactly who they were detaining, and it made them feel all warm inside to bask in the reflected light of the nation’s number one football signee.

I would like to contrast, without weighing in on which is the more correct approach, the Columbia PD’s approach with that of another “C”PD – the Clemson Police Department.  That CPD takes a different approach insofar as they go to great lengths to protect CTU athletes from embarrassment or undue attention.  I’ve heard this approach articulated from the highest of CTU officials, and have seen examples ranging from not releasing the occurrence of an arrest until forced to do so, all the way to delaying the arrest and prosecution of a troubled athlete until after the player had all but exhausted his eligibility. The CTU �administration even has an employee in its Athletic Department who’s job description includes serving as a liaison between the department and local law enforcement. You’ve heard that CTU sells its recruits on the “family atmosphere?” Well, this engagement with local law enforcement is a large part of that purported family setting.

All we’ve got is the HBC doing a pantomime after practice.  Oh, and a police department that apparently gets off by harassing our players.

Let me preface this blog post with this – I have never seen Bruce Ellington play football.  I understand he was undoubtedly a Division I prospect in the sport, was wanted by Steve Spurrier and staff, and put on an epic performance in the last football game he played.  That being said…

This Bruce Ellington playing football thing is a bad idea.

Let’s look at it practically.  Early indications are Ellington is going to play on offense and possibly return kicks.  Let’s make the following assumptions:

• We can generously assume about 70 offensive plays in a game. 
• Marcus Lattimore will get 25 rushing attempts per game, and catch three passes per game.
• Alshon Jeffery will have eight catches per game.
• Stephen Garcia will have 10 incompletions and at least five rushing attempts per game. 

That would leave 19 offensive touches that remain to be divided between some combination of Kenny Miles, Eric Baker, Justice Cunningham, D.L. Moore, Ace Sanders, Nick Jones, Jason Barnes, Lamar Scruggs, DeAngelo Smith, and Bryce Sherman.  That doesn’t include possible contributions from incoming freshmen Damiere Byrd and Shon Carson among others.

Oh, and Bruce Ellington. 

Is Ellington better than all the “others” I listed?  Maybe, but odds are he’ll be no better than the middle of that pack this coming football season.  Maybe I’m being too skeptical of Ellington’s talents.  Part of me hopes so.

I’m also thinking short term in only talking about 2011, I know.  Can he develop into an impact player on the football field over the next few years?  If he does, what does that mean for his basketball career?    

I’m sure the football staff is excited, they have absolutely nothing to lose in this endeavor.

Meanwhile, the bad week that Darren Horn was having just got exponentially worse.  He had already lost one double-digit scorer from his team, and now he’ll be without another until at least January.  I’m sure I don’t need to remind you we couldn’t afford to lose one double-digit scorer, much less two. 

To be the player Darren Horn wants him to be, the player Horn builds this program around, Ellington needs to be on a basketball court as much as possible.  His talent is undeniable, but only practice and experience will help him with his decision making and shooting, two areas in which he needs vast improvement to be the player we know he can be.

It’s hard to drop dimes and hit threes from the Proving Grounds, the film room, or a study session with the wide receiver corps. 

The days of the two-sport college star are all but gone.  There are too many demands on major college football and basketball players for them to excel at both. 

Instead of being great at one sport, I’m afraid Bruce Ellington is putting himself on a path to be average at two.

Tusing:  In case you missed it last week, stands for Tuesday musing.  From now on you’ll just have to assume I misspelled something.

Word just came down that Stephen Spinella and Ramon Galloway have decided to leave the South Carolina basketball team and transfer. 

First, let me address Spinella.  I have to admit, I bought in to Spinella as a kid who was a sleeper, but was going to gradually improve over his four years at USC and ultimately hit some big shots for us in meaningful games as a Junior and Senior. 

Unfortunately, after a 15-point effort early in the season against Radford, he completely disappeared.  He lost confidence in himself, and ultimately lost the confidence of Darrin Horn.  His brief appearances in SEC games in 2011 were downright painful.  He looked lost, and quite frankly a little frightened. 

I wrote at the end of the season that we needed some attrition from this team, and Spinella was the obvious choice.  His leaving is not a surprise.  

Galloway leaving, on the other hand, is quite a surprise, and an unpleasant one.  Horn made a “disappointed” comment in regards to Galloway’s season after the final home game, but I didn’t see this coming. 

Galloway was never going to be the star of this team, but he seemed to fit the sixth man role quite well, providing instant offense at times (but also went into a prolonged slump late in the season) and good energy while on the court.  He is only going to get better, and I hate that it won’t be in a South Carolina uniform. 

Unfortunately South Carolina basketball appears to be a sinking ship, and Galloway decided to grab a life raft while he could.  You would hope an average team at the beginning of the year would be slightly above average by the end of the year.  Instead, we became arguably the worst team in the SEC over the last month of the season.

Damien Leonard better be the second coming of Ray Allen, or we’ll be scouring the NCAA tournament in 2012 for our next head coach.      

Other tusings:

• With my bracket in shambles – and don’t tell me yours is too, because it can’t be as bad as mine – I’m pulling hard for Butler and VCU to continue to move on.  If they don’t, we’ll just be relegated to watching the rich (Kansas, UNC, Duke, OSU) get richer. 
• So, any news on Stephen Garcia lately?  This dude continues to get hammered in the media, and yet he is on pace to break all kinds of career records at USC.  In ten years, we’ll be looking back fondly and remembering how much fun Garcia was to watch, and his warts will make him all the more endearing. 
• Nooooooo, the AJC has no agenda in the “Lorenzo Mauldin oversigning saga”, none at all!    
• Think Steve Spurrier isn’t having fun being the coach at South Carolina?  Then read this.  I haven’t fielded a single question lately about how much longer he’ll be our coach.  I wonder why?
• From T-bone – is Martay Maddox the next Arturo Freeman?  Or the next Taquiy Muhammed? 
• Also from T-bone – shorts or skirts look better on women than jeans.  But women wear jeans all the time now.  What’s up with that?