The following was originally published just prior to the 2011 season, but still sums up how we at TRC feel as the 2013 edition of Gamecock football approaches:

I was a boy of nine (almost ten), and it was getting dark.

You might think the next sentence is going to involve me playing happily outside and being called reluctantly in for supper, but I’ve left out two very important details:

It was New Years Day, and I had just discovered college football.

I wondered through our family’s den with a sketch pad tucked under my arm and several pencils in my hand. Not sure where I was going, but I was probably looking for a quiet spot to draw pictures of myself driving life-sized versions of my matchbox cars, which was a favorite pastime of mine in those days. Regardless, my dad called me over and explained to me that the football game on television was called the Orange Bowl and that I should watch it.

He told me that one of the teams belonged (that’s my memory, but probably not his exact words) to Burt Reynolds, the guy who drove the Firebird in Smokey and the Bandit. That detail caught my attention, as I had a matchbox black Camaro that I pretended was the Bandit from time to time. I ran and retrieved my “Bandit” then plopped down in front of the TV to draw myself and Burt in the car.

But the game drew me in, and before I knew it, I was trying to draw a football helmet instead of a Pontiac.

I don’t remember any major details of the game, other than the Oklahoma Sooners won over the Florida [State] Seminoles. This made me happy, because the nickname “Sooners” sounded immediate and exciting to me, and I had no idea what a Seminole was. I also remember that the Sooners threw the football to each other with a frequency that apparently surprised my dad, and that the Seminoles didn’t seem very good at tackling.

I spent the rest of the evening in front of the television, drawing scenes from the New Years bowl games (I think the rest of the games were over at this point, but I may not have understood highlights versus live action). My dad told me that Clemson lost to Baylor the night before, which made me happy, even though I didn’t really know why (my main aversion to Clemson in those days was the sweat-stained tigerpaw t-shirts of the grimey schoolyard bullies). He also told me that South Carolina lost to Missouri a couple of days earlier. This was an absolute affront to my sensibilities and seemed like a painful reliving of the Civil War (which I was also slightly obsessed with at the time).

I learned from the announcers that New Years Day was the best day for the very best teams to play, and that the season would be over as soon as the Orange Bowl game finished.

Season over already?
But I just got interested!

It didn’t matter as it turned out, because I was already hooked. I read everything I could about college football from that point on, and began keeping a scrapbook of my new favorite player, a running back for South Carolina named George Rogers. A lot of people in the paper and on
television thought George Rogers was going to have a big year in 1980, and it would turn out that they were right.

But I remember the anticipation of that spring and summer as I waited and waited for college football to start up again.

I get that same excited feeling each year, although my distractions from the games are no longer just drawing paper and matchbox cars. Now work issues, social obligations, weddings, and even funerals (not my dad’s yet, thank God) crowd college football from my mind for much of the year. It doesn’t help that the innocence of college football seems as distant as that Orange Bowl from days gone by, what with most converage of college athletics nowadays being about impermissive benefits, conference realignment, off-season arrests, and ESPN-fed profits.

But gentle reader, another season of college football is about to kick off, fresh and new. And despite the sport’s many flaws, it still draws me in. I’ll be watching the South Carolina Gamecocks from the stands this weekend, accompanied by my two sons. One of them just turned ten.

I have no idea how the season will develop, whether one team will throw the ball too much, or if the other team can tackle. And I don’t really have any firm idea about how the Gamecocks will fare.

But a lot of people on the internet and on television think a guy named Marcus Lattimore is going to have a big year in 2011, so we all need to temporarily put down whatever else we are doing and watch.

Here’s to a great 2011 football season!

(via CFB Reddit)

Hi folks, I’m Fred Thompson.

Boy, times are sure tough nowadays.

And I understand how unpredictable and unpleasant conference realignment can become.

If you are like many American football conferences, you may be looking for a simple solution to help ease your financial worries.

Well, I may have a solution that is right for you:  A Grant of Media Rights.

A Grant of Media Rights is a government insured* program that allows you to make use of your hard-earned equity in your own conference.

It could help you get much-needed cash, right now, to:

–  upgrade your facilities

–  renegotiate inequitable television contracts

–  keep other expansion-minded conferences at bay

Or simply improve your conference’s brand and give you the football lifestyle you so richly deserve.

I’m extremely proud to be associated with the ACC, a regionally recognized sports leader in many non-revenue sports (plus basketball).

That’s why I want to send you this free DVD, about how to sign away your unneeded future self-determination in exchange for a sense of security in the here and now.

Its safe*.

Easy to understand.*

Effective* tool.

That can give you peace of mind in an uncertain world.

Why don’t you give ACC a call today?

Just pick up the phone, and call me at 1-800-ACC-BROKE.

______________________

* claims are not representative of actual facts, rights, or other legal representations, but represent only the anecdotal opinion of the spokesperson depicted.

 

 

Or something – other submissions welcomed.

The 2013 edition of the South Carolina Football Gamecocks began spring drills exactly one week ago today.  And while numerous interviews, comments, articles, and breakdowns are floating around the webisphere, many of you may be feeling underwhelmed.

Have we really learned anything?  Do we know more about our prospects for the upcoming season than we did a week ago?  Will we all end up in flop-sweated misery, picking holes in our stained mattresses, while desperately jonesing for a fix of gamecock gridiron goodies?

Well, if that painful feeling is a familiar one, then I’ve got a small methadone treatment for you.  Nothing big, mind you, but just enough to get you to your next full hit:

Twenty Questions Still Unanswered after One Week of Spring Practice

1.  Who will emerge at the Will linebacker spot?  All fifteen of our Will’s exhausted their eligibility in Tampa on New Year’s Day, so we are in a scramble.  My solution?  Downsize.  Eliminate the position.  Oh, you’re welcome, Whammy.
2. Which Dixon brother plays on the Dline?  Wait, they both do?  Well, crap.
3. Is Tyler Hull grumpy because Patrick Fish is on scholarship?
4. What’s Charlize Theron really like, and does she have a strange fetish for middle-aged, married, nicknamed-after-a-cut-of-meat men who live in small South Carolina towns and blog about college sports? ( SAY YES, SAY YES, SAY YES)
5. Who will fill the shoes of the formidable spring practice star, Taqiy Muhammed?
6. Who will fill the shoes of the formidable spring practice star, DD Smith?
7. Is there another grown man in the entire universe named ‘Dabo’?  In fact, is there even another member of the Order of Primates with that name?
8. Are we supposed to enjoy watching “Girls’?  Cause I aint.  Not even close.  The one cool girl  walked off the show a couple of weeks ago, and now its all about dating embarrassments, compulsive behavior, bloody toiletries, and ass splinters.  Heck, basically just a repeat of my own single days.  The show should be called “Tbones.”
9. How do you pronounce ‘Nosovitch’?  The HBC calls him ‘Nosty’ which eliminates the one pronunciation I’d settled on.
10. Should a buy a new truck?  My 2004 F150 just hit 100K last month, and while I love the thing, I’m beginning to wonder if it sends the right message to potential clients.
11. Will Ahmad Christian, Bruce Ellington, Shon Carson, and whoever the 4th guy is be part of the football team come the fall?  If they aren’t really contributing in their other chosen sports, shouldn’t someone have a heart-to-heart with them?
12. Oh, and who is the 4th guy?   Anyone?  Is it Smith?
13. By the way, which one is Kwinton Smith and which one is Jody Fuller? Both are supposed to be studs, right?  I’m thinking they are both tall, other than that, drawing blanks.
14. Can the Gamecock internet speculate about uniforms some more? /shoots guy with MS Paint mockup of updated Carlen Unis /shoots self.
15. Is James Holderman in charge of hiring the next Pope?  Kinda feels like it.
16. Enough with the slightly altered, yet extremely tired, advertising slogans, Andy Demetra.  What’s next, ‘Got Gamecocks?’  Oh, wait, you already did that one.
17. Will Jadeveon Clowney return to . . . . The Lizard Thicket after the bad service he got there recently?  What?  Where did you think I was going with that one?
18. Will Buck, at long last, finally take my advice and mix in a salad every now and then?
19. How many more year will the HBC coach?  Do I hear a motion for ‘infinity’?
20. Is the following joke funny or offensive (leaning ‘yes’ right now):

A Clemson Grad walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm.  Wife looks up from a magazine.  The Clemmer says “See the cow I have sex with when you have a headache?”  Wife says “You are so stupid, can’t you see that’s a goat?”  Clemmer says “You’re the stupid one, I was TALKING to the goat.”