The 2012 SEC schedule is officially out, and it turns out the rumors are true:  Craig James DID kill a bunch of coeds back in the 1980s.  Allegedly.

No, no, not that – the other rumors, the ones that assert UGA and Bama are pulling the strings at the SEC home office down in Birmingham.

Consider the following:

Each western division team has to face at least 4 teams ranked in the 2011 final BCS rankings (poor Ole Miss has to play FIVE).

*Except for Bama, that is, which only has to play THREE.

On the eastern side of things, each team has to play at least three teams ranked in the 2011 final BCS rankings.

*Except for Georgia, which only has to play TWO – one of which (Auburn) was ranked 25th (last).

Georgia will end the 2012 campaign having played almost four full years of conference ball without facing LSU or Alabama.

Good deal, if you can get it.

As for South Carolina, the schedule is a mixed bag.  We get to open college football nationally on a Thursday night against Vandy, but we have to face what is arguably the toughest three game stretch in the conference with Oct. 6 Georgia, Oct. 13 at LSU, and Oct. 20 at Florida.  We also don’t get an open date until the first week of November (prior to facing Arkansas at home on Nov. 10).

Obviously we will spend the offseason alternately shouting “Win Anyway!” and “”We Got Screwed!” and be right on both counts.  But the question that begs to be answered is why some schools seem to be on the inside, and some (Ole Miss, Carolina) seem to be out?  Is it our administrations apparent benign approach to conference negotiations, or is it something more sinister?

Maybe Craig James is innocent, I don’t know.  But UGa and Bama sure look guilty.

[note, #C1B is the twitter hashtag we are INSISTING everyone coalesce around ASAP – its madness out there in the twitteratti.]

South Carolina / Nebraska is not the most – ah hem – shall we say, heated and fresh rivalry out there, so I was pleased to see some video highlights from the last two meetings between the schools (h/t to trucheck on GCC for the links).  I remember listening to both games on the radio and thinking we were gonna win both times.  What?  I was young and foolish.  Geeze, people!

First, the 1987 contest in Lincoln.  Interception city, wasn’t it?  Ellis kept throwing to the Black Shirts, but we were still leading going into the fourth quarter.

Then he threw it to yet another Blackshirt.  Witness:

Then we have the 1986 game, memorable for a great defensive effort and the legendary swaying of the East Upper at Williams Brice.  I think this was the last “swaying” game, as the administration sadly (and wisely) decided to have some remedial engineering work done at the conclusion of this season.  Both fun and apocalyptically dangerous while it lasted, I guess:

Given this lack of knowledge, I embarked on an intense period of in-depth study and analysis (OK, I used Google for about twenty minutes) and learned that this Nebraska football team is strikingly similar to our beloved Gamecocks.  Witness the following similarities:

– Both teams play tough defense, with a strength being defending the pass.

– The linebacking corps are both sturdy, but lacking in superstar bona fides.

– Both teams feature running quarterbacks, who might not break ankles with their shiftiness, but can burn you with straight-away bursts.

– Both schools are forced to tolerate another in-state school full of  inbred yokels:  Clemson for SC, Mid-Plains Community College in McCook for NU.

–  Both teams have one head-scratching home loss they wish they could replay:  Auburn for SC, Northwestern for NU.

– Neither team has a sterling bowl record, with Nebraska’s being a little better in that it hovers just under .500,  where our’s doesn’t hover so much as it absolutely and utterly fails to get off the ground.

– Both teams are known by unique nicknames, and both of these nicknames have disgustingly suggestive double entendres attached to them. (Don’t ask me to expound on this one).

– Moving on quickly, both schools were once known by other, even more inane nicknames:  Nebraska’s teams have been known, at various times as  “Bugeaters”, “Tree Planters”, “Nebraskans”, “The Rattlesnake Boys”, “Antelopes”, and the “Old Gold Knights.”   We were once known as the “Worst Team in the Southeastern Conference” and “The Team Even Kentucky Laughs At” during the Brad Scott era.

– Both fanbases are riddled with superstitious nonsense – we have the supposed Chicken Curse, they have a Uniform Fetish that borders on the absurd.  You may not realize it, but the Cornhuskers tend to go on wild losing dives every time they alter their traditional (boring) uniforms.  Change to red facemasks?  Inexplicable loss to Clemson in the 1982 Orange Bowl.  All-red unis? Loss to Oklahoma in 1986.  Side panels on jerseys?  7 losses in 2002.  (Here’s hoping the 2012 Capitol One Bowl patch send them into a collective tailspin).

– Both defenses have similar nicknames:  NU has The Blackshirts, SC has The Black Death (except when they are called The Fire Ants, or when they were coached by Chris Cosh, when our defense was called other, less family friendly, names).

– Both schools enter the field to somewhat clichéd, but nevertheless beloved, techno-balads:  We have the theme from “2001: A Space Odyssey”, they have the song “Sirius” by, I kid you not, The Alan Parson’s Project.

– Both teams have an excellent football tradition, ranking among the winningest programs in NCAA history, and have multiple National Championship.  /looks nervously from side to side. /clears throat.  /quietly leaves room.

There’s probably no bigger indicator of the state of a rivalry than the paroxysms of rage that emanate from your opponent. Accordingly, we are all edified and somewhat amused by the behavior of our orange-clad brethren in these few days following the 34-13 Carolina domination of CTU.  Their spastic and enraged reaction tell us, even more than the outcome of the game on Saturday, that South Carolina has absolutely passed Clemson as a football program.

For example, Upstate SC listeners of WCCP-fm (The Flagship Station for Clemson Athletics) will have noticed several interesting developments, such as Mickey Plyler suddenly becoming enamored with all things basketball, Mark Sturgis developing a sudden fascination with the intricacies of the BCS, and Dan Scott loudly proclaiming himself to be a West Virginia Mountaineer.  You may have also noticed a majority of WCCP callers now identifying themselves  as Bama grads or lifelong Georgia fans.

Similarly, the aisle of your local Dollar General may seem broader this last week, as many Tiger fans are opting to stay home and feed their hurt feelings rather than shop for more partially hydrogenated essentials at the discount market.

The internet can offer up other examples.  Witness one in particular, a CTU fan blog (looks like a rough equivalent of this space) that recently published a story by someone named C.F. McFadden.  I’m not familiar with Mr. McFadden, but as that is a tradition-rich Clemson name, I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt on his claim to have “covered college football all over the Southeast.”  But his story (or his blog post, to be more technically correct) is so desperately angry, so full of half-baked rationalizations, that it only serves to underscore my thesis.  That point being, ironically, the same as the misplaced title Mr. McFadden prepends to his post, “Because I Dominate You“, but referring instead to Carolina’s now three game win streak over the hapless Tigers.

First, let me point out the lack of source attribution to the picture of Jesco White that begins the article.   I’m not particularly sure if this picture is supposed to serve as an avatar for Mr. McFadden, or a representation of the average Clemson fan, but without a single reference to it in the article (or even an explanatory caption under the photo) we are only left to speculate.  He can’t intend the photo to represent a Carolina fan, as Jesco is a denizen of the Appalachians and not the Midlands.  Or perhaps the author is unaware of the history behind the photo, which strikes me as a more likely choice given the mind-numbing mistakes that occur elsewhere in the article.

For example, the post appears to be written in English for the most part, but contains cryptic and/or apocryphal references such as “call an apple and apple” (does that mean calling two apples?) and “South Carolina fans interact with Clemson fans – and vice versa” (interaction implies a back-and-forth exchange, doesn’t it?  Why append the “vice versa” unless you are ignorant of the meaning of the chosen verb?).

Also there is a central assertion in the article that Carolina fans “throw out the SEC chant [no other SEC school does that]” and the companion claim that the rest of the SEC makes fun of the Gamecock faithful for doing so.  Now I’m no technical savant, but I do know that typing the name of a school along with the phrase “SEC chant” into the magic Google box is an easy fact-check on this asinine claim.  I know, because I did it, and received a myriad of responses, including these three from Georgia, Auburn, and Florida, respectively:

But the penultimate example of Mr. McFadden’s huge blind spot, his utter inability to recognize his own defeatist desperation, is when he opines thusly:

And when the fans get so wound up – eyes red, fists shaking, spit flying – after a WIN, it shows there is just something inherently wrong with them. They know that no matter the score, there is no respect. Nor should there be.

Why is this so ironic?  Why does it show Mr. McFadden’s complete buffoonery?  Keep the above quote in mind, and remember this:

In the end, the article stands for the basic proposition that Carolina fans are no longer subservient to Clemson fans.    This lack of submission is obviously frightening to the Clemson faithful.  Their collective reactions, including diversion, avoidance, and written vitriol, only establishes one thing, however:

We’ve passed them, and they know it.

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This doesn’t even qualify as a ‘Snap Judgment’ post – I’ll leave that to Buck and tomorrow and time and cooler heads, but HOW FREAKING GOOD DID THAT FEEL?!?!

I’m gonna avoid trying to be witty, or thorough, or insightful, and will just give out some game balls;

– To the HBC, for coming here in the first place, putting CTU in proper perspective, and changing the whole feel of this rivalry.

– To Ellis Johnson, for coming with a gameplan and shutting their skill guys out.

– To John Butler, cause you haven’t earned one yet this year.  You better get your unit squared away IMMEDIATELY as the only reason this game was ever close was because of your unit.

– To Melvin Ingram, way to go out in style.  Unblockable at times.

– To Kenny Miles, ditto on the style points.  Good to see #31 go out with a bang.

– To Connor Shaw.  Man, what can we say.  Coming out party?  We’ve got ourselves a quarterback, people.

– To DJ Swearinger.   The CTU coaches gotta hate they didn’t offer you early.

– To Stephon Gilmore – the sack on the first play from scrimmage set the tone for the rest of the game.  Oh, and who was that guy wearing #2 for CTU?  Look like you pretty well blanketed him up.

– To Buster Anderson.  Only a freshman, but came up strong and HUGE.

Ther’s more but I’m worn out and a little drunk.  I’ll leave you with this:  Our team physically whipped the orange necks:  on both lines of scrimmage, and even in the defensive backfield.  Those CTU wideouts weren’t dropping balls for no reason.

34-13

Tbone out.

The confluence of our two main thoughts today in one legendary call: