Sunday Night Snark, Monday Afternoon Q&A Edition

Question:  How many CTU players does it take to operate an elevator?
Answer:  More than twelve.
Question:  How many Offensive Coordinators does it take for Vandy to win a conference game?
Answer:  More than three.
Question:  How many years has it been since the Baylor Bears were ranked in the top 25 went to a bowl game?
Answer: More than sixteen.
Question:  What needs to happen for the Kentucky Wildcats to win the SEC East (Cheesy Biscuits not accepted as an answer)?
Answer:   South Carolina loses to Tennessee and Arkansas AND Georgia loses to Florida and Auburn, AND Florida loses to South Carolina and Vanderbilt.  Oh, AND Kentucky has to win out.  Oh, AND Hell has to freeze over.
Question:  What was so hard about getting out of that two floor elevator in Clemson, SC?
Answer: Confusing Control Panel