HANDS OF STONE – A papajohns.com BOWL RETROSPECTIVE

   

Its not delivery . . . its frozen crap

 

As we prepare to embark on another Gamecock football season, I’d like to take a moment to reflect on, and hopefully flush (to use one of Ray Tanner’s words), all memories of the miserable papajohns.com Bowl.    

Juiced up from the Clemson victory, the Rubber Chicken boys decided that a road trip to the lovely toilet known as Legion Field was in order.  (To this day I truly believe the “This building condemned” signs were covered by posters of “Papa” John Schnatter.)  Based on our collective experiences in being let down hard by the Gamecocks after a big win (there are simply too many to list), we really should have known better.   

First of all, it was cold.  Damn cold.  Colder than any city sitting on or below I-20 should ever be.  I’ve frankly never been so cold in my entire life.  Despite putting on about five layers and lining our boots and gloves with “hot hands” and “hot feet,” we darn near froze our arses off.  (Did I mention how cold it was?)  The only source of warmth was a pre-game visit to the Hooters tent.   

Once the game started, it was clear that the only people colder than us were the Gamecock players.  I’ll never forgot the indelible image of perpetual bench “warmer” Kevin Young nudging starters out of the way to cozy up next to the space heater.   Meanwhile, our S&C coach Craig Fitzgerald stood on the sidelines the entire game in shorts and a t-shirt, never once daring to even cross his arms for fear of looking like a…WHOA, almost forgot, this is a family-friendly blog.  Anyway, I was wishing that dude still had some eligibility.      

As for the game, it was basically over before it started.  The UConn guys ran onto the field with energy, short sleeves and a bad attitude.  Our guys looked cold, confused, and ready to go home.  UConn played a smash mouth style while we played slapsies.   

When Garcia had time to throw, most of his on-target passes bounced off the frozen mitts of the receivers.  (Speaking of frozen mitts, how about Auguste’s inexplicable drop of a gift-wrapped pick six in the second half that could’ve completely changed the game?)   

That pretty much summed up our effort and the game.  The weather was unbearable and the game flat-out sucked.  Ready to flush it and move on?  You bet I am.   

I have some left over hot hands if anyone is interested.  

– g-man

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One thought on “HANDS OF STONE – A papajohns.com BOWL RETROSPECTIVE

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