After a two-year absence, The Transitive Property Report has returned for 2015. What we do in the TPR is take a look at how our opponents and future opponents have fared against other competition. This allows us to, with complete accuracy, determine what our chances are against our own future opponents, and gauge how good or bad we actually are.
The results after week one can be easily summed up by paraphrasing The Lego Movie – EVERYONE IS AWESOME. I honestly don’t see us beating anyone besides Vandy and The Citadel based on how awesome every team was this weekend. But we can’t cancel the season, so I guess we’ll have to see how it plays out.
Week 1 Results:
North Carolina – Lost to South Carolina 17-13. Well this one is easy, right? We’re better
and we won. However, UNC still thinks they were the better team Thursday night, and for once I tend to agree with them. If not for a botched trip inside our ten yard line and a dropped pick six, they could’ve had a 21-0 first quarter lead. Fortunately the ball bounced our way and we escaped with a win. TPR for UNC: Here’s hoping they are a much better team in 2015. If they’re not, then it doesn’t say much for us.
Kentucky – Beat Louisiana Lafayette 40-33. The ‘Cats had this one well in hand until they didn’t. I wish this made me feel better about our game, but I still think it’s a one possession game. TPR for Kentucky: Putting it in the win column, but he confidence level is only medium.
Georgia – Beat Louisiana Monroe 51-14. We got to see a new QB and the next next next next next next next next Herschel Walker between the hedges. Yawn. TPR for Georgia: Nothing learned here, but I still think UGA puts a fair whipping on us in Athens.
Central Florida – Lost to Florida International 15-14. Well, this helps. UCF has been a tough out for everybody the last couple of years, but losing your opener to FIU doesn’t bode well for the rest of the season. TPR for UCF: Putting this one firmly in the win column.
Missouri – Beat SE Missouri State 34-3. Ah, hell, who knows. Maty Mauk was his usual wild ass self and the Mizzou defense doesn’t look like it’s skipped a beat without Shane Ray and Marcus Golson. TPR for Missouri: Stout defense, at their place, prospects for a win are grim.
LSU – Lost to Mother Nature, TKO. It’s rare for a college game to be cancelled due to weather and not rescheduled, but it looks like that is exactly what has happened to the Tigers. We’ll have to wait another week before we learn anything about the fighting Les Miles’s. TPR for LSU: Strangely feel good about this game, but that could change very easily.
Vanderbilt – Lost to Western Kentucky 14-12. Oh, Derek Mason, your cool new uniforms still cover up a horrible football team. TPR for Vanderbilt: Their defense will frustrate the bejesus out of us, but it’s still definitely a win, right?
Texas A&M – Beat No. 16 Arizona State 38-17. The most impressive win of the weekend for an SEC team because they actually played somebody. DE Myles Garrett is NFL-ready and he’s not even eligible to leave until 2017 (which means we have to play him TWICE). The offense will only get sharper. This team could win the SEC West. TPR for Texas A&M: Ugh. Moved from we have a chance to probably definitely a loss.
Tennessee – Beat Bowling Green 59-30. Good news for Vols fans: scored 59. Bad news for Vols fans: gave up 30. TPR for Tennessee: Vols are not quite ready for prime time, but Knoxville is a house of horrors for us.
Florida – Beat New Mexico State 61-13. Florida fans seem pretty happy with this start despite the level of opponent. Given their recent struggles in openers I don’t blame them. TPR for Florida: Still feeling like a win, but will have to keep an eye on these guys.
The Citadel – Beat Davidson 69-0. One of the top three scariest scores in the report, and I’m not kidding. TPR for The Citadel: Option offense + week before Clemson = load up on the Zantac.
Clemson – Beat Wofford 49-10. Did you know Clemson played THIRTEEN freshmen yesterday? Incroyable!!! I don’t quite understand how this is evidence that the Tigers are going to make an unimpeded run to the national championship, but they sure are spinning it that way. Of course, they spin everything that way. Side note: Did you see Tajh Boyd wearing a number 4 jersey on the sidelines for them yesterday? Am I the only one who thinks that’s incredibly awkward? Don’t most returning players wear a golf shirt on the sidelines or something, not the jersey of the current starting QB? TPR for Clemson: Probably better than us right now, but I’m going to lay this one at 50/50.
See you next week.