Fun with Blog Posts: Tigernet Edition

We don’t have a lot of time to blog these days, and I wish we had more to say about recruiting or the state of our basketball program or give an in-depth baseball preview. Unfortunately life is just really busy these days so it’s hard to find time to blog.

But when we come across pieces like this gem, or what our friend Avery Wilks (@AveryGWilks) alerted us to over on Tigernet this morning, it’s just hard not to write about it. These types of articles basically write our posts for us. (Which we like because we’re kinda lazy.)

The rivalry is as hot as it’s ever been, so it’s natural to want to talk/write about them or for them to want to talk/write about us. People love clicks on their articles, and they long to read the praise in the comments section of their blog (we have first-hand knowledge).

Sometimes this leads to “I’M JUST SAYING WHAT EVERYBODY’S THINKING” posts like “Prophet to Dabo: Don’t respond to ‘crazy uncle’ anymore”. It’s designed to rile up the reader and make him/her feel better about themselves and their beloved university.

But it lacks a lot of sense and a few important facts. Let’s take a look:

“(Talking smack) makes the rivalry relevant, and even though Clemson has owned bragging rights since Moby Dick was a sardine, the Gamecocks have won five in a row and written their own revisionist history and given the rivalry a little kick.”

HAHA THE MOBY DICK THING

The “Pigskin Prophet” doesn’t identify what the revisionist history is that Gamecock fans have written. The last five years are not revisionist history, those are fact.

Any Gamecock fan that claims anything other than a barely mediocre football history prior to Steve Spurrier’s arrival at USC is either delusional or just flat-out lying. I’ll say it – we sucked. We sucked at football for more than 100 years.  Sucked in regular season games. Sucked in the rare bowl games we played in. Sucked as in independent. Sucked in the SEC. For 100 years we were arguably the most underachieving football program in the country.

So, noble Clemson* fan, if you want to claim football superiority from 1892-2008, have at it. There’s really not much we can argue.

But if you want to talk about where both programs are situated on January 23, 2014, we’ll be glad to have that conversation as well.

“…he took the mic away from the guy at the Capital One Bowl and started his own little rant, totally taking away the accomplishment of his team’s win over a good Wisconsin team and throwing it back on himself.”

Here’s the clip, tell me exactly how he takes away from the accomplishment of his team. I know not of a single South Carolina player, coach or fan who was upset at how he handled the post-game. It was quite entertaining actually.

“(This past weekend) Spurrier again looked like a drunk sailor grabbing for a mic at a karaoke bar…”

I didn’t see the video so I’ll take Mr. Prophet’s word for it. In my head it looks something like this:

vj-day-sailor-kissing-nurse-world-war-iijpg-774e301a93aa563e

“…and again showed his obsession with all things Clemson when he talked about the streak.”

Spurrier plays to his crowd just like Dabo plays to his. It’s called a rivalry. (Except for those who still deny it’s a rivalry I guess.)

“…he went on to talk about Clemson’s Sammy Watkins, who to my knowledge has never said anything bad about South Carolina or Spurrier.”

No, Spurrier went on to talk about Bruce Ellington, one of his favorite players, whom he is trying to help get a better draft position. In a sense he was actually complimenting Watkins, a consensus top-10 pick, by saying “hey, my guy had more TD catches than a bonifide superstar, you scouts should pay more attention to him.” I can guarantee you Steve Spurrier has the utmost respect for Sammy Watkins’ football skills. Lighten up, Francis.

“(If I’m Dabo) I take the high road, and show the kind of class other people will never find by going shirtless in public or rolling around on rubber balls in videos.”

CLASS is now defined by keeping your shirt on and not exercising, or at least not being videoed while exercising. Check.

(FYI – South Carolina fans were delighted by the video of Spurrier on the exercise ball. I’m not sure why Clemson fans feel that’s going to get under our skin.)

“Or talking about student athletes from another program. That crossed the line.”

I guess they edited the part of the video where Spurrier called Watkins a no-talent POS. Did I miss that?

“Heck, even the people who cover college football nationally are beginning to wonder what is wrong with that man…”

Got any names to associate with this statement? Kirk Herbstreit? Joe Tessitore? Chris Low? Dennis Dodd?

I got news for you, national writers and broadcasters LOVE Steve Spurrier and love what he brings to the sport. I’d like to see or hear evidence of any respectable journalist who thinks Spurrier has lost his marbles. (Please nobody link anything from Bleacher Report, have some respect for yourself.)

“So, every year they get invited back to the South Carolina Memorial Outback or Champs Bowls…”

What?

“…and they play a team from somewhere in the Midwest and they win and go home and wonder what Clemson is doing in recruiting.”

Clemson played a team from somewhere in the Midwest and went home and wondered what South Carolina is doing in recruiting. Let’ s call it  a draw.

“In short – Spurrier has turned into a South Carolina fan.”

Well hell, I hope so.

“A friend of mine once gave me his login and told me to go to (South Carolina’s) message boards…”

Because message boards are a haven for fair and reasoned discussion.

“…and asked me if I noticed a trend.”

Yes, there was a trend – idiots bantering back and forth over nonsense was trending.

Message boards indeed. Mr. Prophet should be banned from writing for a year for even bringing that up.

“Examples, if you will.”

He gives examples of what he saw on the message board, but no links or proof that he didn’t just make stuff up. Actually, I believe what he wrote, but if you substitute “Clemson” anywhere you see “South Carolina” then you have a Clemson message board. THEY’RE ALL THE SAME.

“See what I mean?”

Good point.

“The Tigers have gone on to steal the bowl spotlight, if you will…”

I’m still trying to figure this one out. It was a great win for them, no doubt, but the only reason they “stole the spotlight” is because they played two days after us. I got news for you, people stopped talking about Jan. 1 bowls on Jan. 2, and stopped talking about Jan. 3 bowls on Jan. 4.

“…and the Ole Ball Coach has to find someway (sic) to keep his fans on his side.”

33 wins in three years will do that. He just talks smack because it’s fun. Probably his second favorite hobby behind golf.

“The rivalry will turn, and if you follow recruiting or were paying attention this season, it’s closer than they want to think.”

Well, at least he admits the rivalry is currently in our favor. And it is close, nobody should deny that either. Clemson has a good football team, we just happen to be a little better. But their fans are not paying attention if they think it’s ever going to return to the way it used to be. Those days are over.

“It’s like I tell my friend – you can’t argue with stupidity.”

Says the guy who just spent 5000 words arguing with alleged stupidity.

“Just sit back and smile – they know how they sound and it frustrates them.”

I do wish I was a better singer, dammit.

“They know that despite the streak, we still laugh at them. And now, their head coach embodies the very reason we laugh at them. We get it. They don’t.”

This is one helluvan inside joke they have going on us given it’s been 1800+ days since they’ve beaten us.

“They know we laugh at them.”

And it makes us so sad.

“Dabo needs to teach Spurrier the same lesson, and let the rest of the country sit back and laugh at the crazy uncle with us.”

The rest of the country is laughing at the guy who has won 33 games in three years and beaten his school’s rival five straight. Meanwhile, the guy with the five-game losing streak to his school’s rival just negotiated an 8-year deal with buyouts of $24 million the first year and $20 million the second year.

Yep, the country is laughing at Steve Spurrier.

“Oh yeah, and just win baby.”

 Sound advice, they should use it.

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About buck

A writer whose facts may not always be correct, but whose opinions based on those facts are.
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4 Responses to Fun with Blog Posts: Tigernet Edition

  1. Steve Wilson says:

    Long live the HBC and the win streak!!!

  2. Ben says:

    I love TaterNet. It’s very entertaining. Stupidity on display. Sadly, I’ve been “permanently” banned 4 times over there in the last 3 years. They don’t like it when you post the following:

    “DeAndre McDaniel”

  3. USC Daywalkers says:

    My favorite Clemson line is “we are the better team”…..whatever helps you sleep at night.

    Another good way to get banned from tater net is to post a picture of the Clemson blackface party.

  4. A huge Clemson fan I work with has resorted to simply saying over and over again, “We won a national championship in 1981. You?”

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