Surely you have seen Chris Low’s ESPN.com interview with Steve Spurrier by now. It is classic, smug, winning Spurrier, dropping unintentional yet intentional truth bombs on rival coaches, backhanding SEC programs, and subtly reminding everyone that he is one of the great figures in the history of college football. It is a Spurrier we only saw glimpses of in his first few years at South Carolina, but with an SEC East title and historic 11-win season under his belt, he is back to his spry, zinger-slinging self.
My only problem with Low’s interview was it came out of the gates with lightning speed – “you could always count on (Georgia) having two or three key players suspended” and “(Saban) has to go somewhere besides Alabama and win, because they’ve always won there at Alabama” – but kind of sputtered from there. You have to think there was a lot more substance to the interview, and maybe Low is pacing himself? Or maybe he had a maximum word count for the story?
I thought about what it would be like to come across Low’s notebook and find the “lost notes” from his interview with the HBC. If I did I think it might look a little something like this:
On starting next season at Vanderbilt:
“Yeah Coach Franklin has got a nice little thing going up there. They’ve never won much, kinda like us before a couple years ago. Honestly don’t expect to see them playing in the Georgia Dome any time soon, even in the Peach Bowl. But don’t get me wrong, we could go screw around up there and not pitch and catch like we’re supposed to and wind up losing to them…it’s happened before. But you gotta win those, I mean it is Vanderbilt. If you can’t beat those guys..well, you know, it’s hard to compete for championships.”
On the Dabo Swinney “rant”:
“That was something wasn’t it? He was angry, I get that. Heck I might’ve done the same thing if I was him, but probably not the week after losing my third one in a row. Strange timing. I would’ve probably waited until March or something when people maybe forgot about those last two games they lost. What’d they give up? 70? Man, I thought we did something pretty good until I saw West Virginia beat them. We got a lot a work to do.”
On Swinney’s idea to scrimmage other schools in the Spring:
“Nah I don’t particularly like the idea, would get too competitive probably and feelings would get hurt. But the way we got their number right now playing them twice a year might not be a bad thing. Might want to schedule them every week I guess.”
On his long-standing rivalry with Tennessee:
“Yeah, people ask me when I might retire. I might just retire right after we lose to Tennessee again…nah, you know, I can’t wait that long.”
On losing to Auburn twice in 2010:
“You ever seen a shooting star Chris? That’s kinda how I think of Auburn. One big, expensive shooting star that came and went. Oh well, at least they got that one, I’m sure they’re proud of that. Got ’em a t-shirt and all.”
On his boss, Eric Hyman:
“All that stuff with Eric is overblown. Eric is a good dude. Wouldn’t cross the street to speak to him, but that’s not the kind of relationship we have anyway. The kind where we speak.”
On Bubba Watson winning the Masters:
“Yeah ol’ Bubba put it on them didn’t he? Good fella seems like, hear he went to Georgia. You know one of my Florida teams was the first visiting team to score half a hundred in Sanford Stadium. Sure would like to do that again. Almost did it last year. What was the question again?”
On the South Carolina passing attack:
“Well, we got Connor doing some good things. He’s probably about the best we’ve had since I’ve been here I guess. Well, Blake was decent, just had ADD or something. But we still don’t really know how to throw and catch. If we have to run the ball, you know, direct snap and stuff, 50 times a game, that’s what we’ll do. It is what it is.”
On Lorenzo Ward taking over as defensive coordinator:
“I encouraged Ellis to take that Southern Miss job, he deserved it. We’re excited to have Coach Ward take over and we’ve got a lot of confidence in him because he’s gonna get the ball back to me immediately…one way or another.”
More on Nick Saban:
“Nick hasn’t proven anything to me yet. He needs to go someplace like Kentucky and win. On second thought, Kentucky might be a bad example. I’m not sure I could win at Kentucky. But anyway.”
On Bobby Petrino:
“Yeah looks like Bob has a little problem keeping his franks and beans to himself. Got to have integrity in this game. If you don’t have integrity I got no use for you. Cute lady he was with though, I can see how she made him think. Maybe we might have a chance to beat ’em this year, I don’t know. Beautiful day though.”
The Rubber Chickens Blog 
Hilarious article!! Spurrier hasn’t lost his touch!!