So we’ve defeated the Pirates and the Midshipmen, and the Commodores are next up. This nautically themed start to the 2011 season is as good an explanation as any as to why I was wicked seasick for the entire Georgia tilt.
With that said, some other news and notes from out and about:
The Expanding Universe: The latest intel has Missouri and Texas A&M to the Southeastern Conference and GOSH DARN IT, I JUST FLUNKED GEOGRAPHY, AGAIN. If this turns out to be true (btw, odds of anything on the internet related to expansion being factual are 1 in 6.022 x 10 to the 23rd) then we here at TRC feel assured that the SEC will stop at 14 (take THAT conventional wisdom!). OOOrrrrrrr Oklahoma is in the process of executing the greatest head fake in the history of sport and will be #16 to Okie State’s #15.
Almost heaven . . . West Virginia: Have you ever seen a game of musical chairs? Well, the music is about to stop, and The Eers are the thick-rumped kid that can’t even begin to find a chair. Rejected by the SEC, sure – who hasn’t been, right? But rejected by the ACC in this panicked expansion environment? BWAAAHHHAAAAA [ points at nearest hillbilly ] BWWAAAHAAHAA.
Hyman To UNC, Per Source, Done Deal, Bank On It, JMHO, OK, I Have No Idea: TRC responds to this welcomed news thusly. Wait, you say he’s doing an unprecedented good job? STOP BURDENING MY UNINFORMED PRECONCEPTIONS WITH YOUR ANNOYING AND GERMANE FACTS.
You Complete Me: We here at TRC have consistently predicted the quick demise of Dabo Swinney. His sudden hackneyed passion for all things orange (he even made out with the freaking rock that everyone rubs – eeewwww) was bad enough, but he was also obviously overcoaching whenever the camera pointed his way – wild, easy to understand gestures and slowly-mouthed words designed to show the viewing audience how engaged he was in – I don’t know – redneck excellence, I guess. Regardless, his latest spastic scream fit was too authentically junior high to be contrived, and so we hereby reverse ourselves and pronounce that Dabo Swinney is the Most CTU Coach, Ever. Here’s a health to you Dabo, may you ride the Big Tractor forever.
Heisman Campaign, U R DOIN’ IT WRONG: Alshon and Marcus both now have USC-owned websites promoting them for postseason accolades. This is a grand and overdue idea, but the execution is a slow-loading rehash of old season ticket campaigns. Oh, and Alshon’s Accomplishments tab is blank – BLANK! The SID should at least mention that #1 isn’t pumping anyone’s gas, for crying out loud.
Hurts so Good: So the NCAA finally issued its Notice of Violations in the Whitney/SAM Foundation nonsense, and two things immediately happened: All CTU fans began doing the funky chick. . .er, tiger, and all Gamecocks fans began to turtle into their all-to-familiar-but-not-recent-used shells. In contrast, our editorial stance on NCAA investigations can be summed up in one word: GOOD! No one has ever investigated a school that loses all the time, so we must be doing something right. Scrutiny comes with success, folks, so take the news and wear it as a badge of honor: We’re kicking some tail on the gridiron now, and folks are getting nervous. Oh, and if you want an object lesson, drive by Memorial Stadium up in Pickens County and see if a little thing like a major NCAA slamfest caused the ‘necks to take down that thirty-year old MNC banner.
TRC Emmy Fashion Update: Not really, but we need some reason, no matter how contrived, to post a link to a picture of Christina Hendricks.
Shuffleboard: The week’s roster news: Vic Hampton is active and should see some snaps (Jimmy Legree silently-points-at-the-sky-while-not-hitting-anyone in approval). DL Moore is either hurt or he isn’t, but ain’t on the depth chart either way. Oh, and the HBC doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, but you might find yourself riding the pine this week.
Finally, its Vandy week which always makes me think of Syvelle Newton and his shredded achilles strap. What a game he was having when he blew it out, ‘member? Well, since the internet overlords apparent have outlawed clips of the ’06 Vandy game, we close in #13’s honor with this (oh, and yes it adds to the experience to pretend the cameraman is any of the following: Ron Morris, Cecil Newton, or Craig James):