First Take: I Love Me Some NCAA Investigation

In case you missed it, word came down yesterday that South Carolina received an official “Letter of Inquiry” from the NCAA.  The letter references the eligibility issues surrounding some of the players, but drops an ominous hint that the enforcement types fully intend to find some other wrongdoing while they are in town,

My reaction?

Good.  Great.  It’s about freakin’ time.

I hope we take this tip from the home office and run with it.  I say we throw the rulebook out the window and get us some goody while we can.  Really get creative and find some new ways to cheat.  Hire a bunch of ringers from NFL practice squads, or start paying players to transfer from elsewhere, maybe win an SEC title or two and perhaps even grab some BCS crystal.

What’s that, you say?  We might get put on probation or have some victories stripped or lose some scholarships?

Big Motherlovin’ Deal.

Alabama is the defending BCS champion, right?  Does anybody even mention that those championship players were recruited and signed during a period when Bama had an illegal textbook sales program that netted their players hundreds and even thousands of dollars each?  No need to sell a game jersey, just get free textbooks and then resale them to your classmates at 100% profit.  And this was just after they came off probation for other violations.

Big Time College Football. U R Finally Doin' it Right.

What about Southern Cal?  You think they are going to give back the trophies they won with bought and paid for players?  You think they are finding it harder to recruit now that Ari Gold can’t openly bankroll their backfield?

And Tennessee?  I won’t even get in to the Lane Kiffin / David Reeves plan of sending grown women “escorts” to high school football games.  I’ll mention instead the scandal surrounding their National Championship Quarterback T Martin and all the academic shenanigans that were so blatant that the professors even started complaining.  Do you think Tennessee is ashamed of its championship?

What about Auburn?  The 1993 team went undefeated, and still trumpets the achievement from the rooftops despite the fact that those players were involved in such a morass of infractions that the NCAA banned them from TV and bowl games for two years.

What about our friends up at C.T.U.?  In the late 1970s, they set up a virtual professional sports team in the Upstate under Charlie Pell and Danny Ford.  They paid players, violated recruiting rules, and broke so many NCAA mandates that the school received the harshest penalties ever imposed by the sanctioning body at that time. They won a MNC over a punchless Nebraska team with all those illegal players, and have the championship banner displayed in the stadium to this day.   Thirty years down the road, I still see 1981 National Champ t-shirts and hats everywhere on rednecks in the upstate, so apparently they don’t care that it was all an ill-gotten gain.  It hasn’t ended either, with further probation following in the 90’s for, guess what?  Payin’ Playas. 

Also, keep in mind that the NCAA spends very little time poking around in programs that are losing, so take it all as a good sign.

I just wish we would really cheat in earnest, go get our store-bought title, and then brag about if for the next thirty years.