Banal Gameday Predictions – Southern Miss

Just because everybody else does it, and we obviously have some spare time, TRC shares our gameday predictions for Southern Miss.

Buck says: USC 27-10.  This game will be reminiscent of NC State 2008, with a seriously sloppy first half and a couple of late scores to help us breathe easy.  Offensive stars will be Garcia, Lattimore and Jeffery (why yes, this limb is nice and sturdy, thank you very much), while the D will suffocate Southern Miss (I’m only giving them 10 points because I envision us giving them the ball in plus territory a couple of times.)  Other game notes:  Looking forward to Rece Davis calling the game, he’s 87% less smug than Chris Fowler; not looking forward to listening to the Craig James/Jesse Palmer color guy gigglefest; Buck beer consumption over/under – 7; G-man beer consumption over/under - 0.5; T-bone postgame alcohol level over/under – 0.11; Most common quote from a Georgia fan while watching us Thursday night – “Oh my gosh, we are going to KILL them.”

Tbone says: USC 31-3  Our offense may go in fits and starts at first.  However, I don’t see a Conference USA offense that returns only 4 starters (1  on OL) coming into our place and making much noise.  Matthews et al will smother the Mustard Buzzards (I’m gonna keep calling them that until it catches on).  Garcia will start, Shaw will get the 1st series of the 2nd quarter.  I look for Lattimore to make his mark on the swing pass twice, and for Gurley/Alshon/Moore to lead the charge for the receivers.  Craig “Derp” James will annoy us with his idiocy, Jesse Palmer will wear an awkwardly short tie.  Rece Davis will spend most of the game speculating on when Spurrier is retiring.  New ESPN sideline reported Jenn Whatshername will stumble at bit, but after a six pack of beer and a gamecock victory, I won’t even notice.  Most common quote from a Clemson fan while watching us on Thursday night – “I saw Kyle Parker in just his workout pants today ! OM-NOM-NOM-NOM-NOM!”

Gman says: USC 23-17.  The PappaJohns.toilet bowl game is too fresh for me to think we are suddenly going to light it up on offense.  Yeah, we have Lattimore and great receivers, but I believe these are pretty much the same receivers we had last year and we struggled mightily to score.  With a lot of returners on O, however, I think we will move the ball well between the 20’s.  This will result in opportunities for Lanning that he will cash in on.  I expect one boneheaded offensive play that sets up SM for an easy score.  The D will play well but struggle to create turnovers.  As is often the case with this kind of opponent, we will look like the better team by a wide margin, but the score will not reflect it.  I’ll be live at the W-B so I (thankfully) won’t hear the ESPN crew and their digs and snickers about our program.  Don’t be surprised if they continue their lovefest with UCLA pitchers Gerrit Cole and Trevor Bauer (who didn’t even pitch!).  Will tailgate mightily – looking forward to hanging at my new spot.  I would tell you to come by for a beer, but, um, we’re, uh, probably not going to be there when you come by.  Dang!  Maybe next time.

Thank God for Football Season and Go Cocks!