How to Deal with the Modern, Angry Clemson* Fan
At last night’s Orange Bowl, Clemson* escaped Ohio State and claimed the state of South Carolina’s first ever BCS bowl victory (SUCK IT WOFFORD!). After the game Twitter exploded with some amazing hot takes about the Clemson* program, many coming from “professionals” who cover the school every day and are paid to report on said program. Hot takes like this:
Eat it indeed. Others chose to be more verbose, albeit much less clear in exactly what they were trying to communicate:
When a posse of twitterati and I gently asked Mr. Thurn to explain himself, he kept asking us to dispute what he was saying when we didn’t exactly understand what he was saying. So, what Clemson* “has done nationally” will somehow vault them past South Carolina, but only once the streak ends, at a time which he does not identify? I guess he believes the two BCS bowl games (ahem, 70-33) and one ACC conference title have given them a national relevance we cannot match. Our five-game win streak and higher rankings while the Tigers are making bank “nationally” are conveniently not addressed.
But I digress.
To the point – arguments with angry Clemson* fans should be easier than we’re making them out to be, even in a medium of brevity such as Twitter. The game of football is designed to match two teams, play 60 minutes, and at the end determine a winner and loser. Most of the time the winner is considered the better team, but we do encounter upsets on occasion.
But upsets between the same two teams do not happen five times in a row, especially in games determined by double-digits. The team who wins five in a row by double digits is the better team, no matter the number of BCS games or conference championship (singular) the losing team can claim. The easiest way to win this argument is three words, or a variation of three words:
We beat you.
To illustrate, literally, I took a few minutes to mock up a hypothetical conversation between a South Carolina representative and a Clemson* representative. Feel free to print this out and hang it on your refrigerator, in your cube or office, or in the living space of a real live Clemson* fan to help them free up time to do more important things like trim their ear hair or pull their underwear out of their butt.