Things That Are, Things That Are Not – UCF Edition
A rundown of random things that actually are, and other things that, actually, are not:
ARE correct models of subatomic matter: The Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle, The Wave-Particle Duality
NOT: Bohr Models
ARE valid uses of bacon: Omelets, Salads, Sandwiches–well most everything, actually.
NOT: well, clothing, I guess.
ARE the 2010 ACC Atlantic Division Champions: Florida State
ARE sometimes golden: potato chips, wedding rings, sunsets, showers, the spray paint on Notre Dame’s helmets,
NOT: The UCF Knights. They don’t like being called the “Golden Knights” apparently. News to us, but since we don’t particularly like being called the “Garnet Gamecocks” we will can comply.
ARE involved in game day playcalling: Steve Spurrier, G.A. Mangus, Shawn Elliott, Brent Venables, Chad Morris, Whammy Ward
NOT: Dabo Cornelius Swinney
ARE Duck Dynasty Endorsed: Everything, Everywhere. Evidently, this contrived reality series has taken over our culture to such an extent that it is nearly impossible to transact basic commerce without “Duck Commander” stamped on the product. Dutch Tulip Mania, anyone?
ARE SEC: South Carolina, Georgia, Florida, LSU, Alabama, Texas A&M
Supposed to be SEC: Kentucky
NOT: Central Florida, Clemson
ARE going to be 3-1 after Saturday: South Carolina, Central Florida, Georgia (dang it)