Monthly Archives: July 2012

@JungleBoi_Swagg Releases Fall Practice Schedule

Swearinger meets with reporters, reveals his fall practice schedule

Gamecock Senior Safety, D.J. Swearinger:

“South Carolina will open fall camp on Aug. 3.

The first practice, which is open to the public (although I do not recommend bringing small children), will begin at 7:30 p.m. at the Bluff Road practice fields. The first week of practices will remain open to the public (again, its not the safest place to bring the young and/or the infirm). Players will not be available for autographs before, during or after the practice sessions (I don’t come to your place of Grinding and bug you for autographs, do I?). In addition, pets are not permitted on the practice fields (violating animals will be consumed immediately).  All fans attending the practice sessions must stay behind the yellow rope (for your own mental and physical safety).  Cameras (still and video) are allowed for the first 15 minutes of practice only (violating cameras will also be consumed immediately).

Fan Appreciation Day is set for Aug. 12 at Colonial Life Arena, beginning at 12:30 p.m. (this is when you bring Junior and Grandma).

PRACTICE SCHEDULE (NOTE: Dates/times subject to change):

Aug. 3 – 7:30 p.m. – Introducing the new players to Grinding

Aug. 4 – 7:30 p.m. – Grinding

Aug. 5 – 7:30 p.m. – Grinding

Aug. 6 – 9:30 a.m. – Grinding

Aug. 7 — 8:30 a.m. – Grinding

Aug. 8 — 8:30 a.m. – Grinding

Aug. 9 — 8:30 a.m. and 7:30 p.m. – Grinding and some more Grinding

Aug. 10 – 9:30 a.m. – Grinding

Aug. 11 – 3:45 p.m. – Grinding

Aug. 12  – 7:30 p.m. – Grinding (may do some remedial work on 46 Bandit concepts as well)

Aug. 13 –  9:30 a.m. – Grinding

Aug. 14 – 8:30 a.m. – Grinding

Aug. 15  – 8:30 a.m. and 7:30 p.m.- Grinding and some more Grinding

Aug. 16 –  9:30 a.m. – Grinding

Aug. 17 – 8:30 a.m. – Grinding

Aug. 18 – 8:30 a.m. – Grinding

Aug. 19 – 7:30 p.m. – Not as much Grinding as the day before, and not as much Grinding as the day after, but still significant Grinding

Aug. 20 – 7:30 p.m. – Grinding

Aug. 21 – 9:30 a.m. – Grinding

Aug. 22 – 8:30 a.m. and 7:30 p.m. – Grinding and some more Grinding

Aug. 23  – Fall semester begins – Different kind of Grinding, but still Grinding

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TRC Investigative Report: Victor Hampton

You’ve heard the rumors. So have we. So has everyone.

Vic Hampton is trouble waiting to happen.

Whether it is his intimidating visage, or his street-cred demeanor, this redshirt sophomore from Darlington has developed something of a bad reputation.

We here at TRC do not deal in unsubstantiated innuendo and baseless rumor mongering, so we decided to put our veteran investigative unit on the trail of the erstwhile boundary corner. Below are the results of our investigation, including photographic evidence. A word of warning, as much of the information that follows is disturbing, and is not intended for those with tender sensibilities.

First, we looked into Mr. Hampton’s class attendance. We were able to capture this photo, establishing that he is, indeed, regularly attending class at USC:

Now, a troubling warning sign from this part of our investigation: Mr. Hampton was on his way to Literature 312: The Romantic Poets. We all know where that sort of thing can lead.

He also is accustom to playing with his cellphone in class, and is unable to properly navigate the landscape/portrait settings:

Sadly, the subject of this twisted photo is another member of the Gamecock football squad, Cadarious Sanders. We all know the old adage about one rotten apple, don’t we?

Next we looked at Mr. Hampton’s activities in school outside of the classroom environment. We discovered the following:

Apparently Mr. Hampton prefers chugging Redbull and texting girls to working out in the weightroom with his teammates. I know, we were saddened to learn this as well. What other young person do you know that would give in to such temptations?

What of his family? Witness the following:

I’m sure you recognize this seemingly loving and attractive American family for what it really is: a secret crime syndicate. Notice how stealthy and shifty the guy in the back row looks (no not HIM, that’s Vic, I’m referring to the one to his left). And we have it on good authority that the female to Hampton’s right has unpaid parking tickets. Well, one anyway. For her bicycle. And what is the man in the white shirt smiling about? His upcoming crime spree, no doubt.

And to top it all off, you have the Godfather in the lower center, surrounded by his close band of thieves. How ominous.

Hobbies? Check this out:

No, those aren’t multiple bingo cards that Victor is playing (and apparently winning, with a straight left-to-right bingo on the second row of the top card). No, instead this is the latest development in parimutuel betting: bingo-disquised parley cards. What he is actually celebrating is his wise removal of the marker from the 70 box on the “O” line of the middle card. For the uninitiated, the “O” line is for the Orange Bowl, and 70 was Hampton’s bet on the number of points one of the participants would surrender. Seasoned gambler, obviously.

Known associates? How about this sickening revelation:

Now you may think that this innocent looking grandmother is harmless. You might also think she is holding a garnet pom-pom. Wrong on both counts. This is actually a well-known trafficker in illegal human organs, and that is a human liver she is so flippantly shaking.

Somewhere, as you read this, someone is suddenly waking up in a bathtub of ice. On their chest is a prepaid cellphone and a note. The note reads, “I have removed your liver. You need immediate medical attention or you will die. Call 911. Love, Meemaw.”

That Old Death Valley Smell, er, Spell

Pope Dabo: Per Pagano, “Reads Bible for Fun”

OK, so this has gone beyond ridiculous as of about 8 p.m. last night, when I read about CTU’s latest commitment, Scott Pagano.  As Gamecock fans, we’ve all asked the question, thought this very thing, admit it:

How do they do it?  How does a slightly above average football program (note: in relation to their conference, which is well below average) that is so known for its epic face plants that “pulling a Clemson” has become part of our lexicon, continue to get commitments from top notch high school football players?

The article I linked about Pagano’s commitment really doesn’t clear things up at all.  As a matter of fact, it makes things murkier than ever.  It’s a bizarre interview that would fit just as well on the pages of The Onion as it does on Korny and Kmac’s Sportstalk page.

Let’s review some of Pagano’s comments, shall we?

“It’s just perfect there” (referring to Clemson)

Look, upstate South Carolina is no trash dump.  It’s quite lovely in areas as a matter of fact.  BUT THIS DUDE IS FROM HAWAII.  WHAT…THE…F?!?  Are you serious?  Was he hanging out with Sammy in the Cadillac before this visit?  The guy from Hawaii just called Clemson “perfect”.  In any context that is just wrong, and should raise suspicions of drug use and/or large bills stuffed in plain paper bags.

Coach (Dabo) Swinney is just like my high school coach.” 

OK, fair point.  One for the kid.

“He’s religious and he believes in team unity.”

Not sure why these two are intertwined, but the “religion” point is a common theme you hear out of recruits who visit CTU.  That Dabo must be a real saint.  As far as believing in team unity, this is undoubtedly in stark contrast to the other coaches at schools he visited that are hell bent on team division.  This must really set CTU apart.

“I’ve never seen anyone just read The Bible for fun.”

My first thought, as a Christian, was “boy, there’s a ringing endorsement for Christianity.”  But then I thought about how that came up.  Did Dabo challenge him to a sword drill?  “C’mon Scotty! 1 Peter 3:12 on the count of three!  One, two, THREE!  Ha ha, got you my man!  You come to Clemson and we’ll have you finding the minor prophets in under three seconds!”

“It’s where I want to be.”

Again, he’s from HAWAII.  Let’s see, Hawaii, Lake Hartwell, Hawaii, Lake Hartwell, Hawaii, Lake Hartwell…I’ll take Lake Hartwell because I’m DUMB AS A BAG OF BALL PEEN HAMMERS.

“They are a top ten school academically.”

Wha…I…what?  Top 10 in…the ACC?  The state of South Carolina?  Are the Clemson folks just flat out lying to recruits?

“I”m all-in for Clemson”

Ah, geez, it’s brainwashing.  No question about it.  They’ve got some Tony Robbins-type dude who instead of convincing them to walk on hot coals convinces them to commit to CTU.

Or maybe, just maybe, there is a large armoire somewhere on campus that takes you to Narnia.

Yeah, that has to be it.

TRC Unleashed Episode 24 is Here

Click here to listen to Episode 24 of TRC Unleashed.  We get all serious on you for the first half of the show, but return to our idiot selves before it’s over, so don’t fret.  In this episode we discuss:

  • The passing of former head coach Jim Carlen
  • The brutal situation in State College, PA
  • A highly uneventful SEC Media Days
  • A talented group of USC players that made preseason all-SEC
  • This Week in Dabo

Now that football season is drawing near, these shows will become more frequent, so you might as well start getting used to our annoying voices now…

Solid

Clemson “commitment” Robert Nkemdiche sporting an Ole Miss jersey on his trip to Oxford this weekend.  Says he’s still solid to Clemson.  You think somebody likes a little attention?

Upcoming: TRC Unleashed, Episode 24

Three very busy summers have kept us away from the broadcast booth, but team TRC returns tonight to bring everyone up to speed on what you should be thinking about:

  • Our old AD
  • Our new AD
  • SEC Media Days
  • acc media days
  • This Week in Dabo
  • Recruiting

We’ll be live at 6:30 p.m., and then archived forever.  But don’t wait!  It’ll be a real good time.  Please join us.

Foto Friday – 25 Years Ago

What were you doing 25 years ago?

Well, I was anxiously awaiting my 1987-88 University of South Carolina pocket schedule.  That’s right, college football was so stable back in those days we could print TWO years at one time without fear of Miami of Florida jumping to the Big 8 Conference or North Carolina backing out on their home and home obligation.

It was a glorious time, that summer before my Freshman year.  How was I able to start my college career at nine years old you may ask?  Well, that’s a story for another time my friends.  For now, let’s just enjoy looking at those loose-fitting non-space-age all-cotton uniforms and pray for those linemen in the picture who are currently paying for all that steroid abuse from back in the day.

Oh, and Todd Ellis.

GTKYG Update on Devin Taylor

Everything we already said, plus THIS:

Image

(h/t to sec4life at GCC)

 

Get To Know Your Gamecocks: Devin Taylor

In a new feature here on TRC, we will occasionally look at the surprising backgrounds of, and lesser-known facts about, various members of the 2012 football squad. We will arrange our list (at least initially) by wingspan, which means we will begin with Devin Taylor, #98 Senior DE from Beaufort, South Carolina.

Taylor (real name SQUAK SQUAWKA SISQUAK), was sired by the only extant pair of prehistoric terydactdyls still living.

He was dropped from the sky into the Taylor home in rural Beaufort while still a precocious 5 foot tall toddler. The circumstances of his parentage and delivery are shrouded in mystery, even by those closest too him, but are assumed traumatic as he refused to speak a word throughout his childhood. This led to his current nickname, “Don’t Say Nothing,” because he did (or more correctly didn’t do) exactly that.

The unassuming Mrs. Taylor struggled with her young son, and only found some measure of peace when she discovered, quite by accident, that Devin was deathly afraid of clowns. From that point forward, her preferred method of discipline was to place an inflatable punching bag clown in his room when he proved unruly. This approach, certainly not one that would be favored by Dr. Spock, still troubles Devin, as his violent reaction to this relatively benign row of similarly shaped red foam bags will demonstrate.

Devin’s childhood bully was one Quintin Bartholomew, who took advantage of his older age and access to military grade explosives to torment the young Taylor. To this day, anyone using any form of Mr. Bartholomew’s initials faces quick retribution for those past misdeeds. It should also be noted that Quintin, a talkative boy, was sometimes called “Twitter.” Any individuals carrying those initials that might use a certain social media platform should consider themselves warned.

The first words ever uttered by Taylor are actually captured on film, but are drowned out in this ESPN footage (see the 1:30 mark) by the screaming of 85,000 voices. During his first collegiate snap, and mindful of his mother’s advice to “be nice,” young Devin looked at an opposing running back from the Wolfpack of NC State and quietly said “hey, man,” whereupon the running back became so frightened that he dropped the football before even being touched.

His hobbies include fishing and go-cart racing. By fishing he means jumping into the water and chewing on the nearest shark until it submits, and by go-cart racing he means literally that: he races the go-carts. From that same video you will note that he apparently digs stranded jeeps out of mud pits with his bare hands.

If there is a knock on Taylor, it is that he is not the most emotional player on the football field. This is not a fair critique, however, as those that know Devin best will tell you that his emotions fled from him in a panic the very first time he stubbed his toe.

Ladies and Gentlemen, we give you #98, one of your Fighting Gamecocks, Mr. Devin Taylor:

Do The Right Thing Penn St. — Suspend Football

The contents of the Freeh Report on Penn State have me pretty fired up.  The fact that the future state of the PSU football program is even being discussed at this point in time sickens me.

Penn St. should not wait around to see if the NCAA determines it has jurisdiction and, if so, what penalties it would impose.  Those pondering whether or not the NCAA can impose the death penalty or other penalties against the PSU football program are missing the much larger point, which is the fact that the transgressions committed by Sandusky and the powers who oversaw the football program concern matters much more important than college football and the rules that govern it.

Football is a game that we enjoy watching.  Child rape and the enabling of child rape is an offense so egregious and so incredibly heinous that it offends humanity itself.  To show that it understands that the preservation of its football program and the legacy of a coach pale in comparison to the duty of mankind to protect its children from horrific monsters, PSU should voluntarily, and immediately, shut the football program down for one season.

Such an action would show the public at large that PSU comprehends the enormity of the failures of its institution, and that it is willing to self-administer a sanction that symbolically demonstrates a sacrifice of the very thing the cover up was attempting to preserve.

After all, Penn St. is an institution of higher learning.  Shouldn’t an institution of higher learning faced with a crisis of this magnitude go to every length possible, even to extraordinary ones if necessary, to preserve its integrity, and its commitment to the population at large?  At this somber time, football should be the very least of the concerns of the people at Penn St.  To put what matters in perspective, PSU should take a self-imposed hiatus from football.

Anything less tells the world that they still don’t understand.

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