So we’ve defeated the Pirates and the Midshipmen, and the Commodores are next up.  This nautically themed start to the 2011 season is as good an explanation as any as to why I was wicked seasick for the entire Georgia tilt.

With that said, some other news and notes from out and about:

The Expanding Universe:  The latest intel has Missouri and Texas A&M to the Southeastern Conference and GOSH DARN IT, I JUST FLUNKED GEOGRAPHY, AGAIN.   If this turns out to be true (btw, odds of anything on the internet related to expansion being factual are 1 in 6.022 x 10 to the 23rd)  then we here at TRC feel assured that the SEC will stop at 14 (take THAT conventional wisdom!).   OOOrrrrrrr Oklahoma is in the process of executing the greatest head fake in the history of sport and will be #16 to Okie State’s #15.

Almost heaven . . . West Virginia:  Have you ever seen a game of musical chairs?  Well, the music is about to stop, and The Eers are the thick-rumped kid that can’t even begin to find a chair.  Rejected by the SEC, sure – who hasn’t been, right?  But rejected by the ACC in this panicked expansion environment?    BWAAAHHHAAAAA  [ points at nearest hillbilly ]  BWWAAAHAAHAA.

Hyman To UNC, Per Source, Done Deal, Bank On It, JMHO, OK, I Have No Idea:  TRC responds to this welcomed news thusly.  Wait, you say he’s doing an unprecedented good job?  STOP BURDENING MY UNINFORMED PRECONCEPTIONS WITH YOUR ANNOYING AND GERMANE FACTS.

You Complete Me:  We here at TRC have consistently predicted the quick demise of Dabo Swinney.  His sudden hackneyed passion for all things orange (he even made out with the freaking rock that everyone rubs – eeewwww) was bad enough, but he was also obviously overcoaching whenever the camera pointed his way – wild, easy to understand gestures and slowly-mouthed words designed to show the viewing audience how engaged he was in – I don’t know – redneck excellence, I guess.   Regardless, his latest spastic scream fit was too authentically junior high to be contrived, and so we hereby reverse ourselves and pronounce that Dabo Swinney is the Most CTU Coach, Ever.  Here’s a health to you Dabo, may you ride the Big Tractor forever.

Heisman Campaign, U R DOIN’ IT WRONG: Alshon and Marcus both now have USC-owned websites promoting them for postseason accolades.  This is a grand and overdue idea, but the execution is a slow-loading rehash of old season ticket campaigns.  Oh, and Alshon’s Accomplishments tab is blank – BLANK!  The SID should at least mention that #1 isn’t pumping anyone’s gas, for crying out loud.

Hurts so Good: So the NCAA finally issued its Notice of Violations in the Whitney/SAM Foundation nonsense, and two things immediately happened:  All CTU fans began doing the funky chick. . .er, tiger, and all Gamecocks fans began to turtle into their all-to-familiar-but-not-recent-used shells.  In contrast, our editorial stance on NCAA investigations can be summed up in one word: GOOD!  No one has ever investigated a school that loses all the time, so we must be doing something right.  Scrutiny comes with success, folks, so take the news and wear it as a badge of honor:  We’re kicking some tail on the gridiron now, and folks are getting nervous.  Oh, and if you want an object lesson, drive by Memorial Stadium up in Pickens County and see if a little thing like a major NCAA slamfest caused the ‘necks to take down that thirty-year old MNC banner.

TRC Emmy Fashion Update:  Not really, but we need some reason, no matter how contrived, to post a link to a picture of Christina Hendricks.

Shuffleboard:  The week’s roster news:  Vic Hampton is active and should see some snaps (Jimmy Legree silently-points-at-the-sky-while-not-hitting-anyone in approval). DL Moore is either hurt or he isn’t, but ain’t on the depth chart either way.  Oh, and the HBC doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, but you might find yourself riding the pine this week.

Finally, its Vandy week which always makes me think of Syvelle Newton and his shredded achilles strap. What a game he was having when he blew it out, ‘member?  Well, since the internet overlords apparent have outlawed clips of the ’06 Vandy game, we close in #13’s honor with this (oh, and yes it adds to the experience to pretend the cameraman is any of the following: Ron Morris, Cecil Newton, or Craig James):

It’s been one year today since the passing of former Gamecock great Kenny McKinley, and it is no less shocking or sad than the day we found out about it. Here is what we wrote the day after receiving the news. RIP Kenny…

Over the next days and weeks a lot of people will be recounting their memories of Kenny McKinley, and deservedly so. They’ll talk about the slant routes against Tennessee.  His first career touchdown catch against Arkansas. His touchdown throw to Syvelle Newton against Kentucky. His catch-and-run against Clemson. His two-touchdown performance in the Liberty Bowl…and on and on.

But something else came to mind for me.  It was the 2006 Clemson game.

I know you all remember the play.  Carolina was driving for a touchdown late in the first half.  But impossibly Jock McKissic, a Clemson defensive lineman, picked off a Blake Mitchell pass and lumbered the other way for a touchdown.

Towards the end of the play, Kenny McKinley comes flying into the picture.  Just as McKissic crosses the goal line McKinley takes a swipe at the ball, but the effort is futile.  The camera follows McKissic as he turns to the left, but just before McKinley disappears from the picture, out of frustration you see him kick the pylon in the back of the end zone with his left foot.  Just boots the heck out of it.  I remember watching that several times later and getting a good laugh out of it (of course, it wouldn’t have been nearly as funny if we would’ve lost.)

Cant’ you just see a kid having that reaction?  Then one of the coaches coming over to calm the kid down? As I reflect on Kenny McKinley’s career, I think that play was indicative of the childlike joy and passion with which he played the game.  There was an innocence to it that still makes me smile.  I bet Kenny saw that replay later and smiled his trademark smile too.

Don’t get me wrong, Kenny McKinley was a man on the football field from the first day he suited up at the University of South Carolina.  He never played a down of wide receiver until college, but worked his tail off and became, numbers-wise, our greatest ever.

No one would’ve batted an eye if this lightly recruited kid had gotten buried on the depth chart and transferred to Furman or Newberry or Hampton.  But somehow, against some pretty steep odds, he became an NFL draft pick, and got his name prominently displayed on Williams-Brice Stadium.  More than that, he had the undying adoration of the Gamecock Nation.  Not just for his catches and yards and touchdowns, but for the way he played.  For his joy and innocence.

I don’t know when the joy and innocence faded from Kenny McKinley.  Maybe it was just the last few days. Maybe it was weeks or months, possibly even years.  I honestly don’t want to know any details.  I don’t want to think about the unbearable sadness that must’ve consumed him to make him do what he did.

As college football fans, we chew players up and spit them out every four years.  We recognize them at their last home game, thank them for their service, give them a bouquet of flowers and wish them well.  Then we forget about 99% of them.  Not because we don’t care or don’t appreciate them, we just don’t have the capacity to remember them.

Then there are the 1% that stay with you.  The 1% that create the lasting memories.

Thank God for that 1%.  Thank God for Kenny McKinley.

TRC Unleashed – Episode 6 is right here for your listening pleasure.  Due to a previous obligation of mine, this episode is “Buckless” (insert whip crack sound effect) and features Tbone and Gman recapping the predictably nail-biting win over Navy and all the trappings that went along with it.  Enjoy.

TRC Unleashed – Episode 6

Some quick, barely researched, not fully formed thoughts from yesterday’s nail-biting 24-21 win over the Naval Academy:

We would like to officially announce Marcus Lattimore’s candidacy for the Heisman Trophy. It’s still very early, but after his 246-yard rushing, 25-yard receiving game on Saturday, #21 put himself squarely into the Heisman conversation. From the first offensive series you could see Navy wasn’t going to be able to stop him, and he bulled his way to his most productive game as a Gamecock. He currently leads the NCAA in rushing with 534 yards after three games. 

The only carry where he lost yardage came on a toss sweep on fourth down late in the game that could’ve sealed the game, and it also came about two plays after I had texted to Tbone and Gman “A toss sweep would be money here.” I meant to the WIDE side of the field coach!

Stephen Garcia, the time is NOW. Garcia didn’t have a bad game last night, but he could’ve had a great game (and this game might not have been so close) had he connected on a few early passes that sailed high. His interception was very Garcia-esque, killing a drive early in the second half that would’ve put us in control of the game. Spurrier took the blame for the play call, but that’s a ball you have to eat. If we are going to meet any of the lofty goals we have in our sights in 2011, #5 is going to have to have a remarkable awakening and play like the quarterback we’ve always thought he could be. Enough roller coaster, let’s have a nice long stretch of flat highway for a change.

Putting out an All Points Bulletin for Alshon Jeffery. Coming into the Navy game I think most Gamecock fans thought Lattimore would get his, but that this would also be Jeffery’s breakout game for 2011.  Unfortunately he was suspended for the start of the game for breaking the infamous undisclosed team rule, and then was never really a factor once he did come into the game, catching only two passes. He’s had a slow start to the season by his standards, and knowing that teams will gear up more and more each week to stop #21, he’ll need to start playing more like the Alshon Jeffery we’ve come to know and love.

Welcome to USC Nick Jones and Jason Barnes. Good to see these two youngsters have some meaningful catches in a game. Hopefully these guys will continue to improve over the years and help our stable of wide receivers live up to their billing. Wait, WHAT? Jason Barnes is a SENIOR?!?

Obligatory Jadeveon Clowney bullet point. Once again, fairly quiet for the majority of the game, and then when a play needs to be made, boom. That last series for Navy he was scary good.

I‘ll give the DB’s a break this week. As a matter of fact, I’m going to give the entire defense a break this week. I saw a lot of tweets about the “missed assignments” and “secondary breakdowns” on Navy’s completions.  To be fair, the two long third-down and one fourth-down completion came on scramble plays by a pretty elusive quarterback, and those types of plays can get dangerous in a hurry. Fortunately, our guys made plays when they had to, and that’s the bottom line. But with some pretty explosive offensive attacks coming at us down the road, we need a lot, a LOT, of improvement on the defensive side of the ball.

Jay Wooten. Clutch.

They were who I thought they were. As the week leading up to this game wore on, the more I had a sinking feeling this game was going to go down to the wire, and I was hoping we would be able to squeak out a win. Navy is a difficult team to prepare for because of their scheme, and they are extremely well-coached. Give them credit for making a lot of plays when they had to as well.

Dude, you’re completely delusional…oh, and thank you for serving our country. Navy fullback Alexander Tiech after the game: “I’m not going to lie, I think we were the better team.” Well, sir, you are entitled to your opinion, no matter how wrong it is.    

We’re 3-0. As they say in tournament ball – survive and advance.   

 

 

We’re too exhausted after watching that escape from the Naval Academy to give you too much insight as to what we’ll talk about, but here is your link for TRC Unleashed – Episode 6:

TRC UNLEASHED – Episode 6

Tune in at 6 p.m. Sunday night. You’re going to LOVE it.

It’s been a while since I’ve published The Comeuppance Report, where I occasionally take time to spill my pent up anger and bitterness all over your computer/iPad/iPhone screen (God forbid you have an Android-based phone, ick.)

Maybe all this positivity from back-to-back national baseball titles or the fact that we are the favorites to repeat in the East have softened me up a little. But over the past week my anger and frustration have risen to a point where I can’t stay silent any longer.

So, without further ado, here’s who I’m pulling against this week:

Clemson Tiger University (CTU) – This seems obvious, and quite honestly CTU could make the CR every week in perpetuity, but the difference this week is the team they are playing – Auburn University.  TRC has not withheld our disdain for Auburn or how they obtained their so-called “National Championship” or for their “Heisman Trophy winner”, “Cam Newton”.  However, for one week we will pinch our noses, roll up our pants, and wade into the cesspool that is this contest, and pull for the Tigers without the lake. Maybe this will keep CTU fans from calling themselves “this year’s Auburn”, which is sickening on multiple levels.

Tribble Reese – Speaking of Clemson Tigers, this guy is one of the great tools of his generation.  I’m sorry Tbone brought him to our attention yesterday. People like Tribble (that CANNOT be his real name) are why I’m building my son a bomb shelter and stocking it with enough food to wait out the nuclear winter. 

The Naval Academy – My family and I Army people, bottom line.  When it comes to football, Navy can suck an egg, I don’t care for ‘em.  Plus, I don’t really get all the 1984 references.  Decent album, but the bottom line is Van Halen got away from their roots, and quite frankly sold out from that point on. There, I said it.

Florida State – Anyone with fans who would do things like this deserve whatever bad things come to them. I hope Oklahoma knocks them back into 2006.

Mississippi State – The SEC already has enough good teams. I want LSU to break their spirit tonight so they can slide back into the lower third of the SEC pecking order where I like them. That’s going to be a tough game for USC come October.

Nike Pro Combat – I’m not against uniform changes. Actually I think freshening the look of your unis every few years is a good idea. Not everybody can be Alabama and Penn State. But Nike is completely out of control with the Pro Combat nonsense, and now they’re dragging Under Armour down with them (see:  Maryland). Fabricating some sort of heritage or tradition to showcase your designers’ talents is overly self-serving and borderline manipulative. (So we’re a couple of weeks late on this, what do we look like, professional writers? Don’t answer that.)

University of Texas – Now that the smoke is clearing, people are starting to see who the real bad guy is in this whole conference realignment quagmire, and it ain’t Texas A&M or Baylor. We can only hope Texas gets left out in the cold when all is said and done, but that’s just wishful thinking. All the loads of Longhorn Network cash will be completely worth the university’s reputation gone to crap. Let this be a warning, Alabama, when ESPN comes knocking on your door.       

UGA  – More air time for David Bennett of Coastal Carolina can only be a good thing.

Whew! I feel renewed!

A Few Midweek thoughts as we prepared for the Midshipman:

Copycat:  No, I’m not referring to CTU (although as we’ve mentioned before, everything they do is about as original as Chek Cola).  Instead I’m referring to the Coach Spurrier’s press conference assertion that the way to defend the option is the way that option teams defend the option when they play other option teams.  Or something.  It wasn’t really clear to me, but I kinda felt like the HBC shouldn’ta aughta said it.  Well, anyway . . .

Run to the ball:  Sort of the goal on defense, right?  Well, not this week for the Carolina.  Coach Johnson has our guys going through their practice paces without a football, in order to stress the importance of staying with their assignments.  This should be a surprise to noone, as several of our secondary guys have been playing without balls for a couple of weeks now.

1984:  Its never going to stop, is it?  References to that Navy game from almost thirty years ago are at a fever pitch right now, despite a wide range of facts that show its complete irrelevance.  It was a game with different coaching staffs, different schemes, different players, and a completely different athletic environment at The USC.   It happened before any player on either side of this week’s tilt were even born (Wait, Frisby’s gone, right??).  We’ve played, and soundly defeated, the Midshipmen two times since then, and WE LOST ANOTHER GAME THAT YEAR, PEOPLE!  But still the ghost of that game is ressurrected again and again.  Maybe the only way to kill the legacy of that old Navy game is to score 84 points on them this weekend.  So there, that’s the goal.

Volleyball:  You ever play volleyball?  Me neither.  But when I’ve been forced to do it by gym teachers or bikini clad beachgoers (what, it happened.  Once.), there is often this rotation thing after each point – you know the server moves over to his/her left and someone else moves back to serve and so forth, right?.   Well, that’s the Carolina defense.  Despite spending all spring, summer and fall training our old starting free safety to play strong, starting strong safety to play backup spur, and starting spur to play backup linebacker, we’ve apparently decided to scrap the whole exercise and move everyone back.  For now at least.  Maybe.  Actually, the volleyball analogy doesn’t work as you can’t give up 79 points in two games of volleyball.

Meme Watch:  As followers of TRC will probably remember, I occasionally (and unsuccesfully) try to force a viral happening on the Gamecock Interneteratti.  For example, I just created the word “interneteratti.”  Please use this term frequently from now on.  You are welcomed.  In the same vein, I’ve been troubled by the lack of a nickname for recently-recognized National Player of the Week, Melvin Ingram.  I know his odd combination of size, speed, power, girth, and athleticism makes him a difficult player to categorize for the coaches, but as fans let’s settle on something to call him, at least.  Accordingly, I hereby suggest we refer to #6 as “Boomstick” hereinafter and forevermore.  This moniker appeals both to the nerdy B-movie afficionado in me, and also succinctly captures his manly essense.  There, I’ve done it, prepare to be overrun by Boomstick references, sportsworld.

Tribble in Pickens County:  If you haven’t been exposed to the CTU handwringing over former third string QB Tribble Reese and his pregame antics last week, then do yourself a favor.  First, visit Tigernet, use your fake handle and password (admit it, you have one) and spy on the meltdown.  Next, read the media coverage of the event that is linked therein.  Then, read the Athletic Director’s response, wherein he asserts that Coach Dabo Swinney was not aware of the entire affair.  Finally, look at this picture FROM THE FREAKING EVENT showing just how unaware Dabo must be to claim to be unaware.   Oh, and visit Tribble’s own website, which was obviously written by Tribble himself (preview: he likes him some Tribble).

Pro Combat Unis:  I AM NOT ACKNOWLEDGING THAT THESE THINGS EXIST.

You’ve seen it, but have you really SEEN it. The fake punt executed by South Carolina on Saturday is magical, and not just because of what happens between the time the ball is snapped and the time 6’2″, 270-pound Melvin Ingram passes over the Georgia goal line.

It’s the small things that happen before, during and after that make it so very entertaining.

(Before we get into it, let’s just get it out there that it’s the greatest fake punt in the history of South Carolina football. Granted, I have done zero research on this, and the only other fake punt I can even think of is Ryan Succop’s accidental fake punt against Mississippi State in the first game of the 2006 season. But I’ve made my mind up, and refuse to be dissuaded.)

We’re going to walk through the video above to point out why this two minutes and fourteen seconds is so gloriously entertaining, but first let me set the scene for those of you who may have been in a beer- or bourbon- induced stupor.

Georgia had scored a touchdown to take a 13-7 lead, and followed that up with what was very nearly a successful onside kick attempt.  Unfortunately for UGA, Baccari Rambo (the guy who doesn’t think Marcus Lattimore is that tough) was offsides by a shoelace, and after the re-kick USC ran three plays and faced a fourth down from their own 32-yard line.  UGA used a timeout with 2:20 left in the half.

We’ll pick it up as ESPN comes back from commercial break (time code is from the YouTube video above):

• 00:00 – Mark Richt’s seventh choice for defensive coordinator, Todd Grantham, is getting in the face of some UGA offensive linemen before they go back on the field. Grantham is the stereotypical loud-mouthed, red-faced, verge-of-a-stroke coordinator that can’t understand why his players aren’t half as dedicated and/or intense as he is. I can only imagine what he is saying to his barely interested players, “WE GOT YOU THE BALL BACK YOU SORRY SACKS OF @$&#%$!!! NOW GET OUT THERE AND DO SOMETHING WITH IT!!!” This, in addition to his mini-fued with the HBC last year, makes what’s about to happen so much sweeter.
• 00:12 – By now the Gamecocks have seen the defensive/return alignment they were looking for, and the fake is on. I wish I knew what that was, but I only coach third-graders, and the UGA alignment looks pretty darned normal to me.
• 00:14 – Ingram takes the direct snap. Joey Scribner-Howard peels off to the right, as does the gunner, Stephon Gilmore, who takes two unaware UGA players with him. The right side of the line blocks as normal, while the left side gets on the outside shoulders of their men to create the hole for Ingram.
• 00:15 – Human tank Byron Jerideau takes aim on the one Bulldog the Gamecocks expected to be unoccupied. I can’t make out the number of the UGA player, but he’s small, so he takes the route of self-preservation and hits the deck when he sees Jerideau coming. Justice Cunningham is trailing Ingram, and I’m not sure if this is by design or if Ingram just got out of the blocks faster than Cunningham.
• 00:17 – Ingram is in the clear. At this point I’m thinking “first down, awesome”.
• 00:18 – Brandon Boykin, after briefly thinking “I got this”, has his life flash before his eyes and brain screams “HOLY MOTHER OF GOD NOOOOOOO!!” The future NFL cornerback hits the deck as well.
• 00:19 – Melvin Ingram direct quote, “Why would a little guy like that try to tackle me up high?”
• 00:21 – Unlike Jimmy Legree later in the game, Devonte Holloman says to self, “Whoa, he might score, I better block somebody.”
• 00:24 – Approximately ten seconds after the start of the play, Melvin Ingram scores from 68 yards out. Actually, he takes the snap at the 25-yard line, so he covers 75 yards, makes two guys miss, and outruns the last guy.  270 pounds. Full pads. All in ten seconds.
• 00:25 – Reggie Bowens strut.
• 00:27 – Ingram runs to the edge of the tunnel and ever so briefly you can see him salute the UGA faithful.
• 00:29 – Our first look at Hairy Dawg’s classic reaction.
• 00:32 – Mark Richt goes 1/3 of the way onto the field to retrieve his flung clipboard/play chart. Uncharacteristic for the normally stoic Richt (hot seeeeeeat). This is interesting, because as much as the HBC is known for throwing his visor, his clipboard-to-visor throwing ratio is about 10:1 since coming to USC. Maybe it’s catching on.
• 00:46 – Sean McDonough’s first mention of DeAngelo Smith (the other #6) as the actual touchdown maker.
• 00:51 – McDonough, confidently, “It appears to be DeAngelo Smith.”
• oo:56 – Ingram turns his back to the camera so we can see his name, and McDonough, slightly stunned, “No, it IS Ingram.”
• 1:00 – Shot of smug Spurrier. We LOVE smug Spurrier.
• 1:27 – Replay begins from overhead camera. Great angle, I wish we had more close-ups of the fans’ faces.
• 1:58 – We need to send this camera guy (or gal) a gift basket. He follows Ingram across the goal line, then immediately notices Hairy Dawg and focuses in on the stunned reaction. There are very few things funnier than than seeing a huge-headed cartoon mascot showing real human emotion. Someone needs to make a gif of that so we can use it as a UGA disappointment meme forever and ever.