Monthly Archives: November 2010

A Tigris Miscellany

Reports that WCCP’s Will Merritt took to the airwaves yesterday and opined that backup QB and latest CTU Savior Will Proctor Willy Korn Kyle Parker Taj Boyd “took over the game” in last week’s 29-7 beatdownof the Tigers sent those of us at TRC back to the game tape for verification. Witness our discoveries:

‘Ownage’ is obviously a malleable term, yet our understanding of the concept doesn’t involve negative rushing yards, multiple turnovers, and a goose egg in the points column.  But to each his own, we always say.

Speaking of Tigers, the Auburn varietals are apparently in full bloom this time of the year. While they have a noxious odor following them, and promise to soon be pruned back significantly, they are still good for occasional displays of crass bravado and unintended irony. Witness this cringe-worthy moment:

We too are aghast, but not in the way you intended

Yes, gentle reader, that is erstwhile professional athlete, and son of a preacherman, Cameron Newton preening along side well-know hitman Nick Fairley in the wake of their improbable come-from-behind victory in the Iron Bowl.  The irony is, of course, that the rest of America has born similiar expressions of incredulity while reading about the exploits of these two players (the words “student-athletes” will not, in this context, make it past my editing software for some reason).

Finally, and only slightly related to the genus Panthera,but has anyone noticed the Person Effect?  You know the Person Effect, don’t you? Its the phenomenon whereby any sporting team covered by former gamecock beatwriter Joe Person suffers dismally through its season. He left the Gamecock beat shortly after drudging up the Whitney Hotel fiasco, and then moved on to cover the once-promising Carolina Panthers. You see where I’m heading with this one (the rooster crows and the sun comes up), but still YOU WERE WARNED CHARLOTTE, YOU WERE WARNED!

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D.L. Moore Interrupts Your Train of Thought

Need to get down field and help cover the kick – wha?

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Coach Swinney says I’m as good as half the NFL punters – Wha!?!

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Lets see, she said bread, milk, and OH MY GOD!

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You know what I like? Soup. I really really like Soup -Oh Sweet Lord, That Hurts!

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Hey look at me, I’m running really fast, I bet I look like Alshon Jeff-THE PAIN!

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So I said, yes Coach, he does look cute inthat unifo-SWEET FANCY MOSES!

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Derp, Derp, Derp, Derpity-Derp, ODIN’S BEARD!

Memorial Stadium’s Jumbotron Has A Message For The Clemson Offense

H/T to Impala_SS_Cock at Gamecockcentral.com

Clemson Tigers, Carolina Perspective – A Graphic Explanation

Banal Gameday Predictions – Clemson (CTU) Edition

Buck says: Carolina 27, Clemson 17. For the first time in a long time we go into this game with the better team. I hear a lot about how Clemson is loaded with talent, and they very well may be, but it has not translated to the field. Carolina has had its best season under Spurrier, and the team will get an extra game next Saturday as a reward. There will be no looking forward for these Gamecocks, and they’ll get their first back-to-back victories over the Tigers in 40 years. Marcus Lattimore will find the going tough against a good CTU defense, but the ‘Cocks will still control the clock with a short passing game and just enough of a ground game. CTU’s inept offense will remain just that against a rejuvenated Carolina defense. Then it’s on to Atlanta my friends.

UPDATE: Tbone twice attempted to provide his prediction, but both times hooked it inexplicably to the left. #boisestate

Tony Barnhart May Know Football…

But he doesn’t know the Carolina-Clemson rivalry. Here is his prediction for our game:

7. South Carolina atClemson: South Carolina is not going to overextend itself because the SEC championship game with Auburn is coming up next week. Marcus Lattimore gets the ball less than 10 times and the game is close. South Carolina 17, Clemson 10.

I have no problem with the final outcome, of course, but “South Carolina is not going to overextend itself”? Lattimore gets it less than 10 times?

Puh-leeeeze. Time to start paying a little more attention Tony.

Big Thursday and My Clemson Cousin – a Proposal

So its Rivalry Week, and its got me thinking. Im looking forward to the big game of course, and am hopeful for a Carolina victory. But Im not looking forward to our family Thanksgiving meal this year, and for good reason.

You see, about half of my family are Clemson fans. I know, its shocking, but it sort of makes sense given the clan from which I hail. You see, my first cousin is currently in jail for (allegedly) shooting a guy, and Ive got an uncle (by marriage) that died with a half-empty bottle of Thunderbird in his hand. Both big Clemson fans. And then Ive got this other cousin. About my age. Never married. He wears orange and purple tee-shirts all the time (in the fall he dons matching sweatpants, in the spring he starts coupling the shirts with ragged blue jean shorts).

This guy is ruining my Thanksgiving, and it hasnt even started yet.

As in years past, he will start in on the Clemson nonsense before the turkey is even carved. You know the stuff of which I speak; the totally one-sided, impervious to reason, excuse-riddled grandiose bull droppings that only come from the madly loyal, yet totally ignorant, fan. And while most of my relatives will try to focus the dinner conversation on family news (that one guy is in jail, for crying out loud) Tee-Shirt Boy will not be deterred. Its all gonna end in a stupid argument, and its not good for family harmony or our collective digestion.

So Id like to propose something: Lets move the Clemson-Carolina game to a different date. Maybe one not associated with the forced-spending of time with educationally-challenged relatives. I know its been discussed in the past, Coach Spurrier even mentioned the idea of moving it to the first game of the year in his press conference the other day.

Put me down with the HBC on this one, but not necessarily at the first of the year. See, my family has a big end-of-summer cookout each year, and that would only move the Tee-Shirt Boy problem around on the calendar. Solves nothing, really.

I want to move the game back to Big Thursday.

For those of you not familiar with the term, Big Thursday was the date of the Clemson-Carolina game until 1959. It was the Thursday during the annual State Fair, and it brought the states biggest sporting event (sorry, Darlington) into the States biggest carnival, exposition,

Coach Howard, The Most Clemson Man in the World, says goodbye to Big Thursday

and food fest. The problem was it was always a home game for the Gamecocks, so the Orange and Purple crowd brought pressure through the General Assembly and had the tradition abolished.

Now Im not advocating that the game always be played in Cola-town again. No, that would only happen every other year. In those years where the game is being played in Clemson, we can all treat it just like we do now as an educational and historical trip into the setting of the James Dickey novel, Deliverance.

But on those other years, those State Fair years, the game would take on a festival-like atmosphere, with fun for more than just football fans. A side benefit would be that the visiting Clemson faithful could enjoy tailgating fare of funnel cakes and turkey legs trust me when I say this would be a HUGE upgrade from their usual meals.

But I keep thinking about the fair rides those dangerous, rickety, operated by connoisseurs of methamphetamine, fair rides. Those things are death-traps, really. A fatal accident waiting to happen.

Its those rides that have got me thinking: Im pretty sure I could get Tee-shirt Boy to ride one.

Stock Falling, Stock Rising

TRC SEC Weekly Bowl Projections (now with more initials)

BCS Title Game:Boise Statevs. Oregon- If the center of the college football world is the Southeastern United States, how in the #^&%$!*& could this happen? Oh, and if you are a betting man, take theOVER for combined points, whatever it is. And yes, I know this is not an SEC Bowl game, but it should be.
Allstate Sugar Bowl: Auburn vs. Ohio State – The idea of these two quarterbacks on the same field will be TVratings gold – that is, if either of them are still eligible to play.
Capitol One Bowl:LSUvs. Michigan State -D’antonio and his heart troubles coupled with Miles and his brain troubles will be an interesting side story.
Cotton Bowl:Arkansas vs.Oklahoma – Can we get the Okies to keep the Arkies as pets after this one is over? Fair warning, Sooners, the ‘backs aren’t house trained.
Outback Bowl: Florida vs. Penn State – Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Don’t believeme? It’s actually a stretch that these two programs get this high.
Chick-fil-aBowl: Anyone-But-South-Carolina-No-Matter-How-Much-We-Have-to-Torture-the-Logic (publically, the committee will simply say “Damn it, you mean we HAVE to take South Carolina”) vs. Florida State.
Gator Bowl: Mississippi State vs.Iowa – new style offense against old style offense. Oh, and also, cowbells versuscowbelles.
Music City Bowl: Georgia vs. Boston College – this is a matchup that once would have mattered, and maybe evenhappened in a Peach Bowl (memory fuzzy) once upon a time. Oh, and A.J. Green: you spurned the home state school for this? BWWAAAHHHAAA x infinity.
Liberty Bowl:Tennessee vs.Central Florida[or somebody,I'm not really sure which teams are in Conference USA -I do have a life, you know]. Still hoping that the zeitgeist catches on to my Derek-Dooley-is-Bob-Crane meme.
Birmingham Bowl:Kentucky vs Louisville -because the first time around was so compelling. What, it wasn’t? Who cares, suck it B-ham.

The High Point of the Trip. I Know, That's Sad.

A Few Things for Which I Am Thankful

Since this is Thanksgiving week, and we are heading into two of the biggest weeks in the history of South Carolina football, I came up with a list of a few things for which I am thankful:

THIS football season- Carolina is 8-3 and heading to the SEC Championship Game, having beaten Georgia, #1-ranked Alabama, and Florida in the Swamp with the division on the line. I can’t help but think things are either about to go papajohns.com Bowl bad or the Apocalypse will occur on December 4 just as Marcus Lattimore is crossing the goal line for the winning touchdown against Auburn. (Hi, my name is Buck, and I’m a South Carolina fan.)

#1 and #21- Tell me, when have we EVER had two skill guys of this caliber on the same team? Spare yourself from cracking open the media guides, the answer is never. Both of these guys will be first team all-SEC. Jeffery should be first team All-American, and Lattimore could sneak onto some third teams with a strong finish. The good news? You already know what the good news is. But if not, check out the preseason magazines next year and you’ll figure it out.

Offensive and defensive lines- Look, I’m not one of these guys who can tell you how each O-lineman graded out after the game. All I know is Garcia has time to throw and Lattimore has room to run. On the other side, our guys are stuffing the run and are one of the national leaders in sacks. Is there room for improvement? No question. But gone are the days when we can’t compete because we don’t have SEC-caliber linemen.

Stephen Garcia- Four years ago I would’ve bet against him ever taking a snap at South Carolina. Now, after three tumultuous, roller coaster years where he has been beaten up and beaten down, I can say I’m glad #5 is leading this team into battle each week. He’s still going to make a boneheaded play or two on occasion, but he’s also going to stand tall in the pocket and make some good decisions and some good throws. (Go back to the third quarter of the ‘Bama game after they had cut the lead to 7, and his third down completion to Tori Gurley with Marcel Dareus about to drive him into the ground. THAT is the guy I want under center.)

Thankful I got to see this.

Steve Spurrier- The guy has succeeded in making me a believer, an unbeliever, and then a believer again. Thanks coach.

Connections- A ticket to the SEC Coaches Luncheon? Check. Two tickets to the SEC Championship Game? Check. Tickets to the Chick-fil-a Bowl if we happen to get the invite? Check. It’s good to be me. (Disclaimer:actually I just have one connection, but to protect my identity, I am unable to reveal his or her name.)

High expectations- I have had thoughts of 2011, so sue me. As a fan I have the luxury of not having to take it “one game at a time”. So I’m thankful that I’ll get to poke my chest out next summer as all the pundits pick us to win the East again. I’m thankful that when someone asks me about the 2011 season I won’t have to say “welllll, mayyyybeeee, if some breaks go our way…seven, eight wins?” No sir, the sky is the limit. And if it doesn’t work out, so be it. But I’m going to enjoy the ride.

And be thankful for it.

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